DemonTengu
ezOP
Posts: 265
(3/31/04 11:02 am)
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okla guidelines
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work
before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road' No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your car.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years
old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will
get you whipped... by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if
a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name
for those little trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final approach, we will shoot it! You might hope you don't
have it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth
for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off
the two pounds of ham and turkey.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served over ice.
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on
weekends. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million
dollar combine that we use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We
stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want
to . So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too--and turtle. You really want
sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go two ways--Interstates
29, 35, & 69 go the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.
16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?
18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Just don't hit in the water
hazard. It spooks our fish.
19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for
driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir"...no matter how old he
is.
20. It gets cold here in the winter time. So your
fancy leather boots and jacket don't cut it if you want to keep from
freezing to death.
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