Re: On The Road with Bspace and Boobu, Ep IV: Now Where Are
*Meanwhile, onboard THE LAW.....TK-1771 is still strapped to the wall of the ship, as Sheriff Mary is at the ship's helm*
Sheriff Mary: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA B-boys sighted!!!! I'm going to enjoy this!
TK-1771: you think you could untie me so I could actually help fight???
Sheriff Mary: if you actually knew how to fight you wouldn't be in this ridiculous position
TK-1771: point taken
Sheriff Mary: FULL SPEED AHEAD!!! *nefarious laughter*
*back on the Admiral Kenobi, the crew are battling the waves heading for the island, to at least find the treasure of Daisy Duke, the golden shorts, to power their green teleporter ball to get out of this era!*
Vixen: Peg Leg!!!! shouldn't we slow down!!!!!! the ship be a creakin and rockin on these waves!!! Not to mention the unconcious capn' is rolling around on the deck!!!
*true enough, Bspace is seen rolling from side to side of the top deck as teh ship rocks back and forth*
*welches chuckles to himself as he hoists the mooring line*
Boobu: He can hold a bit longer!!!!!!
Vixen: who?? the ship?? or B!!!!
Boobu: The ship!!! B...eh he's done for
Vixen: whatever you say Peg Leg!!!!!!!!....
*Vixen rejoins the rest of the crew as they all hold on and race to the Island, with the LAW behind them*
Boobu: Almost...there...
Butterfly: We're too close!
Boobu: Almost...there!
Butterfly: LOOSEN UP!
*Boobu and Butterfly both let go of the helm at the same time*
Boobu: What was that about?
Butterfly: Aw, nothin really! I just wanted to steer the ship! Tehehehee!
Boobu: GET BACK TO WORK!
*Butterfly gives Boobu a mock salute and goes back to helping with the sails*
*The Admiral Kenobi makes landfall, at long last*
Boobu: Release the anchor!
*everyone stands around and does nothing*
Boobu: Ahem...RELEASE THE ANCHOR!
Welches: Uh, Peg Leg, we don't have an anchor. All we seem to have is this boxed up confetti tied to a chain.
Boobu: Confetti?! Wait...does it say Celebration 3 on there?!
*Welches gulps*
Welches: How did you...?
Boobu: Nevermind! RELEASE THE CONFETTI!
*Welches nods and signals to Picanic to help him. Together, the 2 hoist the boxed confetti over the railing, keeping the Admiral Kenobi anchored in place*
Boobu: All right then! Let's get going people!
Vixen: But what about Black Tot?
Boobu: Eh, he'll find us whenever he wakes up. Now come on, we have a treasure to find!
*Boobu leaps over the side with the treasure map in hand, and the rest of the crew quickly follows*
*15 minutes later*
*Bspace wakes up on deck*
Bspace: huh...wha??.....uh oh...
*Bspace examines his surroundings while adjusting his pirate hat*
Bspace: I don't like this one bit...where is everybody?
*Bspace walks around and below decks*
Bspace: Boobu??? Vixen?? Butterfly?? PICANIC!!?.....*sigh*....welches?? hmm where could they be....
*Bspace goes back on deck and looks thru his telescope around the distance and spots the Law getting closer*
Bspace: !
*Bspace quickly tucks his telescope in his pocket and glides down the "anchor" chain to the beach*
Bspace: ahh, my surplus CIII confetti never fails
*Bspace looks around* Hmmm....I bet they went...THAT WAY!
*B points in some random direction toward the palm trees and bushes...and where the footprints lead*
*he takes out his lightsaber, just in case*
*10 minutes later*
Bspace: boy am I tired from all this walking! where could they be??????
*B turns around and Boobu stares at him right in the face*
Boobu: boo.
Bspace: AAHHH HOLY CRAP!!!!
*Bspace ignites and swings his lightsaber at boobu inadvertently, thankfully missing*
Bspace: oh HI boobu ! was worried I'd be alone the whole time
*The sounds of hundreds of guns being trained on the crew of the Admiral Kenobi click in one cue*
Boobu: Well then, you must really be happy!
*The crew find themselves surrounded by hundreds of stormies, lead by Sheriff Mary*
Mary: This little insurrection is at an end, B-boys! Time for you to sign the treaty, and end this pointless debate in the senate!
Boobu/Bspace: Wha?
Mary: Er, I mean, tell me where the treasure of the daisy dukes are!
Boobu: Well, we'd like to help ya, but we're a little lost ourselves.
Bspace: We are?
*Boobu elbows Bspace in the ribs. Bspace prepares to retaliate, but Boobu gestures for him to halt for a moment*
Mary: Ah, can't read the treasure map eh? Seems your old age is finally catching up with you Boobu!
Boobu: Indeed...well, here, you take the map then, see what you can find.
*The Admiral Kenobi crew all react in shock, but Boobu winks at them*
Mary: AH-HA! At last, victory will truly be mine! Come, my legion of stormies! Riches beyond glory awaits us!
*Mary takes the treasure map from Boobu's hands and heads off into the jungle with her enterouage of stormies*
*Bspace walks up behind Boobu and thwacks him over the head*
Bspace: HAVE YOU FINALLY GONE INSANE?!
Welches: YOU'VE SCREWED UP OUR PLANS!
Butterfly: IT WAS A MISTAKE TO TRUST YOU!
Vixen: MORON!
Picanic: FOOL OF A TOOK!
*Boobu unleashes a wave of silly lightning on them all, causing them to fall to the floor with laughter*
Boobu: Now, if you're quite finished...I gave Mary a fake map. It'll destract her for a moment, but we need all the time we can get to find the treasure! Now come on!
Bspace: whew! man, I was worried there for a sec
Butterfly: me too! glory B!
Bspace: yes?
Butterfly: what?
Bspace: you called my name?
Butterfly: huh?
Bspace: you said Glory B. you are praising me?
Butterfly: ah no..its a figure of speech.
Bspace: oh.
Boobu: are you two done?
Bspace: yeah nobody loves me!!
Boobu: Jaina loved you
Bspace: and DUMPED ME YOU MORON!! how dare you bring back old wounds!!!!! ahem *regains composure* sorry...
Boobu: now lets GO
*2 hours later*
Picanic: we passed this tree already!!
Boobu: DID NOT!!!
Picanic: I tell you we did!!
Bspace: how can YOU tell...
Picanic: cuz I pee'd by it an hour ago when we took a lunch break!!
Vixen/Butterfly: EEEWWWWWW
Bspace: ah, I see, well then, I suggest we try this direction!
*they walk on*
*45 minutes later*
Welches: we are soooo lost
Boobu: shut up we are not!!!!! we are right.....
*Boobu examines the map*
Boobu: HERE!......wait...
Bspace: uh, boobu....thats a road atlas of Ohio
Boobu: hmmm....thought it looked screwy ...
Bspace: damnit boobu where did you put the treasure map?!
Boobu: ...heh heh...must have been my other shoe
*Boobu whips out the real treasure map*
Boobu: Ah-ha! What do ya know? It's right here where we're standing!
*Boobu's finger points to a spot of land, titled on the map as The Kraken's Lair*
Boobu: Aw, crap...
*The ground shakes and splits open! And out pops...a 3 foot tall Kraken, making warbly noises*
Vixen: Well, that's definitely not what I was expecting!
Butterfly: Hey wait, what's he wearing?
*The mini kraken is wearing none other than...THE DAISY DUKES!*
Bspace: THAR SHE BLOWS!
Boobu: Oh great! Now we have to pull the dukes off of that thing's dirty ass? This quest gets better and better...
*A blaster bolt flies over the head of the mini kraken. Mary and her stormies have returned!*
Mary: You tricky little scallywags! Thought you could outwit The Law did ya? Well we'll just see who laughs last! Stormies, get the kraken!
*The Kraken screams like a chicken and takes off into the bushes. The stormies pursue it on their speeder bikes*
Bspace: AR, MATEYS! WE SHANT BE LOSIN THE TREASURE THAT EASILY!
Boobu: You guys go after the mini kraken thing. We'll handle the Sheriff!
Vixen: Oooooh, I always do love me a little chase scene! Let's go guys!
*The Admiral Kenobi crew chases after the stormies and the kraken. Boobu and Bspace stand with their lightsabers drawn against Mary*
Bspace: You won't get away this time, Mary!
Boobu: Hey, I was gonna say that!
Mary: TOO long, have I pursued you B boys....TOO long have you eluded me...TOO long have I gone without a ride in your speeder which if you recall is what started this whole feud!
Bspace: oh yeah....man that was two years ago
Mary*continuing*: TOO long have I been stuck with that bumbling TK-1771, TOO long have I begged Emperor Monkeylizard for a new sidekick, TOO long has he refused....
*Bspace and boobu stare at each other and sit down*
*15 minutes later*
Mary*still continuing*: TOO Long have I paid too high dental bills! TOO long has my house gone without electricity because this job doesn't pay well!!!! TOO long has my pet dog Truffle gone without a new bone!!
Bspace/Boobu: ...
*Mary glances at the B boys who are falling asleep, and she realizes how long she has rambled on*
Mary: *ahem* yes well....NOT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....THIS IS IT...this is the END for you Bspace and Boobu
Boobu: NOT today sheriff!!!!
Bspace: This time we'll take her together
Boobu: I was about to say that....
*the three ignite sabers and clash together*
Mary: neeyahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
*Meanwhile, the stormies were dangerously close to catching up to the Mini Kraken.*
Stormy: We're really close to catching up to that Mini Kraken!
*That's what I just f-cking said!*
Stormy: Yeah? Well I think you suck at narrating!
*Oh yeah?! Well try this on for size!*
*A huge wall of molten rock suddenly rises up, and our poor, foolish stormy, drives right into it*
Stormy: AUGH! *screams Wilhelm style*
*Heh, who's laughing now beyotch?! Anyone else wanna piss off the narrator?!*
Stormies: !!!!!!!!!!!
*Yeah, didn't think so. Anyway...in typical hollywood fashion, the crew of the Admiral Kenobi gets ahead of the stormies and lays traps for them*
Butterfly: Okay guys, here we come! Vixen, get ready!
*Vixen nods and sashays out into the middle of a clearing. The stormies put on the brakes to their speeder bikes and gawk at her voluptuous figure*
Vixen: Hi boys...
*The stormies get off of their bikes, huffing and puffing with lust*
Stormy: Hey baby, can I steal your death star plans?
Vixen: Why don't you come over here and you can pillage all you want.
*The stormies cheer, and out of blind lust, approach Vixen, unarmed. Vixen grins evily and whistles a signal*
*Immediately, Butterfly puts her newfound dark side silly powers to good use, and shocks the stormies silly.*
Stormies: OH NO! NOW WE'VE BEEN ORDER 66-ed!
*Welches and Picanic beat up on the rest of the stormies who werent shocked by the silly lightning*
*meanwhile back at the DUEL*
*Bspace Boobu and Sheriff Mary slash their lightsabers left and right! as the Anakin vs. Obi Wan track from the ROTS soundtrack mysteriously plays in the background!!!!*
Bspace: now THIS is music I can PWN to!!!
Boobu: couldn't agree more MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*the three continue to clash staring each other down*
Sheriff Mary: FORCE TIME!!
*the three extend one hand each, force pushing against each other*
Sheriff Mary: Young fools...you will NEVER know the meaning of the word PUSSSHHH...until you've been a WOMAN!!!!
*Sheriff Mary uses her OTHER hand to do a double force push causing an explosion of force push power that ripples palm trees right out the ground!!!! and Bspace gets blown in the air backwards!!!*
Bspace: crap!!
*B flips around and grabs Boobu's shoulder before he is blown away, and lands back down*
*Sheriff Mary force chokes Boobu and throws him into a palm tree*
Boobu: OOOF!!!
*Bspace glares at the sheriff and fights her one on one doing insane amounts of flip moves and dives and tackles and all sorts of pretty moves!!!*
*Bspace and Mary lock sabers*
Sheriff Mary: I sense great...FEAR in you....Bspace....you have hateful hilarity!...you have evil silliness!!!!....but you don't use them.
*they break sabers and clash on*
Bspace: uhh Boobu! anytime you want to regain conciousness would be fine by me!!!!
*Boobu gets up to his feet, growling with a sense of anger not seen since...*
Boobu: THAT...IS...IT!!!!
*Boobu shatters his fake peg leg with a gesture of the silly force. Lightning cackles and sparks on his free hand, and he grips his saber hand with a terrible power*
Boobu: NOW YOU WILL EXPERIENCE THE FULL POWER OF THE DARK SILLY SIDE!!!
Bspace: Uhh...Boobu, you okay buddy?
*With a yell, Boobu sends a massive wave of silly force lightning at Mary. It overwhelms her and sends her flying conveniently towards the island's not so dormant volcano. Boobu leaps after her, still yelling*
*Bspace stands there with his jaw hanging*
Bspace: Uh oh, I think Mary pissed Boobu off real bad! I'd better go and make sure Boobu doesn't do something rash! ...wait, who am I kidding?
*Bspace comandeers a conveniently left alone speeder bike and rushes off through the dense jungle*
Bspace*to himself*: I hope my crew is having good luck getting those golden shorts!!!!!!
*Back with the Crew*
Butterfly: HAHAHA THAT Will teach you stormies to mess with us!!!!!
*Butterfly catches her breath*
Butterfly: wait...WHAT HAVE I DONE!!
*thru the silly force, she hears Boobu's voice*
Boobu Force Voice: Your fulfilling your destiny...butterfly....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Vixen: WOO good job Butterfly! HI 5 girl!!!!
Picanic: yes very well done!!
Welches: INDEED now lets go!!!!
*the crew heads after the mini Kraken again...unbeknown to them, a second squad of stormies approaches...led by....a stormie head??*
TK-1771: OK come on squad!!! I may have had to chew off my own body to get untied from that lonely ship...but I couldn't miss this final epic battle!!!!! now someone duct tape me to a speederbike so I can lead like a good trooper!
Stormie: uhh Yes SIR! but I don't think Sheriff Mary will be too pleased with you...
TK-1771: when is she EVER?!??! I'll have to get a robotic body later now come on lets GO!!!
*a Stormie duct tapes TK-1771's head in helmet, to the front of his speeder bike, and squad 2 goes after the crew*
*Meanwhile, at the volcano*
*Mary smashes into a rock wall, silly lightning still giving her a few jolts here and there. Boobu lands in front of her a few seconds later, his lightsaber drawn*
Boobu: The oppression of The Law will never return! You have lost!
Mary: No...no...no...YOU WILL...!
*SLASH*
*Boobu cuts off Mary's hands*
Mary: OW!!!
Boobu: Yeah, like I didn't see that coming!
*Mary cowers before Boobu, just as Bspace arrives on the scene*
Mary: Bspace! I told you it would come to this! I was right! Boobu is taking over!
Bspace: ...you never said that!
Mary: Oh...I thought I did...didn't we have a scene in the opera?
Bspace: Uh...no...all you've been trying to do is kill us!
Boobu: ENOUGH! I AM GOING TO END THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Bspace: You can't! She must stand trial!
Boobu: What?
Bspace: Hehehe, just play along for now...
Boobu: *growls*...fine! SHE HAS CONTROL OF THE COMEDY CLUBS AND THE CANTINAS! SHE'S TOO DANGEROUS TO BE LEFT ALIVE!
Mary: Oooh, I'm so weak...don't tickle me! Please!
Bspace: It's not the silly jedi way! She must live!
*Boobu raises his saber to strike*
Mary: Please, don't!
Bspace: I NEED HER...TO LAUGH AT!
*Boobu raises his saber higher!*
Mary: PLEASE DON'T!
*Boobu then starts to slash his way downward at the Sheriff...when SUDDENLY*
*a helpless pigeon flies in between him and the sheriff*
Bspace: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
*Bspace locks his saber with Boobu's over the sheriff*
Bspace: can't let the innocent get harmed in our squabble!!!!
*Boobu lowers his saber*
Boobu: YOU GOTTA BE FREAKIN KIDDING ME MAN!!!!!!!!!!!
Bspace: come on!! we are not monsters!!
*Mary watches back and forth as the B boys banter*
Boobu: B!! we've been on the run for 2 and a half years from her!!! its time to FINISH IT! once and for ALL!
Bspace: I AGREE!! just let me free the pigeon first
Boobu: FINE
*Bspace takes the pigeon and releases it*
Bspace: Spread your wings and fly young bird!! be free!!!!!!! !!!!!
*Bspace walks back over to Boobu and the Sheriff and ignites his saber*
Bspace: now where were we?
*Meanwhile...with the Kraken*
*The little Kraken is cornered by both the remaining stormies and the Admiral Kenobi crew. It's confused, not knowing who to trust*
Butterfly: Be careful guys! I sense this thing has great power! If it's provoked, it could attack enmasse!
TK: Hah! Like I care about things like caution! C'mere you ugly thang!
*TK's stormies rush in on the Kraken. The Kraken reacts by turning the stormies into literal chickens*
Everyone: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*The Kraken then jumps into the arms of Butterfly, and everyone else is in awe*
Everyone else: Awwwww...
*I said Awe! A.W.E!*
Everyone else: Ooooooooooooooooh!
*That's better!*
Vixen: I think it's safe to say that we've won this treasure hunt!
Picanic: Yeah, but...who's gonna change the Kraken?
*Everyone backs away from, and then stares at Butterfly*
Butterfly: Aw, crap...
*A few minutes later, Butterfly has successfully changed the Kraken into a pair of makeshift diapers, made from leaves*
Butterfly: That was so humilating...
Welches: Hey, you're the one with the squid pet, thing! Now what do we do?
*The Kraken becomes aglow with a blinding light...a light which turns into a beam, which then shoots high into the sky. A portal opens in the sky above the island*
Everyone: Uh oh...
*Back at the volcano*
Bspace/Boobu: you've hunted us for too long....and now...it ENDS...ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!!!
*Bspace force grabs the sheriff, raises her in the air, while Boobu unleashes tickle lightning, causing her to laugh hysterically*
Bspace: Ready Boobu??
Boobu: Ready B.....
Bspace*using great strength*: HIIIYA!!!!!!!!
*Bspace uses the force to throw the sheriff off the volcano in the air back towards her pirate ship the LAW*
Sheriff Mary: CURSE YOU B-BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahha......
*Bspace and Boobu stand on the volcano, regaining their breath*
Boobu: IT....it is done....
Bspace: not yet boobu buddy!! we gotta get outta here!!!!!! we gotta see if our crew got the shorts, turn our ship back into our speeder, and head for that giant portal in the sky using the green teleporter ball for support!!!
Boobu: lets get to it then!!!!!!
*the B-boys make their way down the volcano and to where their crew was last seen*
*on the LAW*
*Sheriff Mary lands on the deck HARD....right on top of their Teleporter Ball...smashing it to smitherines!!!!!!!*
Bspace: Boobu there they are!!!! Did you guys get the shorts???
Welches: Oh yeah, we got the shorts all right...Butterfly is cleaning them as we speak.
Boobu: Cleaning them? Ewwwwwwwwwww...!
Bspace: What about the rest of the stormies?
Vixen: They went back to their ship to see if they could repair the teleporter ball.
Boobu: Heheh, not likely. I'd say they're stranded here! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Butterfly comes back, with the golden shorts in hand, and looking pissed off*
Butterfly: Here's your golden shorts, Captain Black Tot! And here's all of my pirate stuff too! I quit!
*Butterfly throws the shorts and the rest of her stuff at Bspace, and then storms off into the jungle*
Boobu: I can feeeeeeeeeeeeeel her anger...!
Bspace: Oh, give it a rest, will ya?!
*Bspace picks up the shorts*
Bspace: Vixen, I have one last command for you. When you get back into town, give these golden dukes to a guy called The Dead Man. Tell him Bspace and Boobu sent you.
Vixen: Hold on just a minute, you promised to marry me and Picanic off after we were done with this quest, remember?
Bspace: Aw, geeze, we're really pressed for time here!
*Vixen throws the shorts in Bspace's face*
Bspace: Fine...Boobu, come with me, quickly! I have an idea!
Boobu: ...oh no...
*A few minutes later, the Admiral Kenobi crew, minus Butterfly, as well as some of the stormies, are joined together on the main deck of the AK. Bspace stands before Vixen and Picanic, who hold each other's hands*
Bspace: Dearly beloved!
Boobu: (whispering to Welches) Kill me...kill me now!
Bspace: We are gathered here together to join this...uh...short dude, and this fine piece of woman together in holy matrimony! And, if we could skip this along a bit...if anyone has an objection to this union, speak now, or may they forever hold their peace!
*Boobu tries to speak up, but then gives up*
Bspace: Blah, blah, blah, you guys are married! KISS FOR GOODNESS SAKES!
*Vixen kisses a very unwilling Picanic, and there is much cheering*
*Some stormies even cry*
Boobu: COULD WE HURRY THIS UP?! THE PORTAL IS CLOSING!
*Bspace turns to the unhappy new couple and the rest of his crew*
Bspace: Well guys, it's been fun playing pirates with ya, but we've got places to go and people to make fun of. Seeya around some time!
Welches: I never got my rum!
*The Kraken conjures a huge bottle of rum that appears in Welches' hands*
Welches: Oh...NICE!
*Everyone clears off of the deck of the AK...and once again, it's just Bspace and Boobu*
Bspace: bye guys!!!! it was fun!!! we will never forget you !!!!
Welches: I bet I could forget THEM
*Bspace contnues waving from the deck to his former crew who is ashore*
Bspace: goodbye!!!! farewell!!!!!!
*B then notices the ship isn't moving..and is still beached*
Bspace: oh!
*Boobu sighs*
Bspace: alright Boobu, bout time to turn this ship back into a speeder!
Boobu: Right!
*Boobu goes and pushes some buttons on the teleporter ball, morphing the Admiral Kenobi, back into the speeder, the General Kenobi.*
Bspace*to crew*: this is how we normally get around !
Crew: wow!
Bspace: hey guys...if you could..make a big ramp out of sand aimed at that portal!
Vixen: what for??
Boobu: you'll see
*the crew does so*
*Bspace get in the GK*
Bspace: I'm gonna miss this place Boobu....
Boobu: yep..sure was fun here...but just think of where we will end up next!!
Bspace: yeah...ya know someday we gotta figure out how to say WHERE we want to go..rather than just ending up in some random place we don't know about LOL
Bspace: well...guess its time..
*Bspace, briefly takes a look out the window and reminisces for a moment...before turning on the engine, and driving down the beach and makes a U turn and aims the ramp, aimed at the portal*
Bspace: Hang on Boobu buddy!!!
Boobu: I hate this part...
*Bspace FLOORS the pedal and the GK happy to be a speeder again, speeds down the beach quickly accellerating towards the ramp, and then nails it and the speeder sails skyward*
*The General Kenobi sails thru the portal and in an electrical explosion of lightning and fire, the GK and the portal were gone*
*Back on the Beach*
Vixen: now THAT was an exit!!!
Picanic: I'll say!!!!!....
Welches: well hmm......now what?
*all are silent*
the end...?
FEAR NOT! OTR IV is not over yet
TO BE CONTINUED SOON!
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE DYNAMIC SILLY DUO OF BSPACE AND BOOBU!
Edited by: Darth Yogi aka Count Boobu at: 9/1/06 9:51 pm
Bspacewiz2 Death Tot Commander
Posts: 153
(9/7/06 11:16 pm) Reply
Re: On The Road with Bspace and Boobu, Ep IV: Now Where Are
*In swirling vortex that is the very fabric of reality, Bspace and Boobu sit back and relax, as the teleporter ball takes them to their innevitable desitnation of...where ever it is that they're going to end up*
Boobu: So, B, what's the first thing you wanna do when we get back?
Bspace: I dunno, man...maybe RELAX for a bit, hehee. Being on the road for two years straight, as fun and awesome as it is can be a little tiring.
Boobu: Heh, I hear that, buddy. Just me and my palace in the dune sea...with nothing but Sand People and Banthas for neighbors. Heheh, can't wait to torture them Tuskens. They probably think I've left for good! But oooh, just wait till I set foot back home! They're gonna be in for a rude awakening! Muhahahahah!
Bspace: Boobu ole buddy, there's something seriously wrong with ya, hahahah!
Boobu: Well, I am a Sith after all. And as we both know, the Sith have an affinity for torturing Tuskens, hahahah!
Boobu: So B, how do YOU relax?
Bspace: hmm never really thought about it...I like to play hologames and pwn mass n00bs on Xbox Live Galaxy..!
Boobu: you play on there?
Bspace: sure do...look for the gamertag "Road_Junkie!"
Boobu: ...thats not your real gamertag is it
Bspace: hahaha no! ...hehehehehe...man I can't wait to catch up on the twilek ladies in town! I've missed them!
Bspace: you know I haven't seen my room in so long!!! I bet its all covered in dust!!!
Boobu: GUH..and my mansion is probably buried under the sand!
Bspace: guess we better get back home soon then eh?!! Whats the progress of the teleporter ball?
*Boobu takes a glance at the ball and it's indicator*
Boobu: It looks like we're coming up on...
*BOOM!*
*In a flash of light, the General Kenobi is barelling through dusty plains at 100 MPH. Before either of them have any chance to react, they plow through a purple hovercraft and send its rider, a being dressed in a purple humanoid shaped armor, flying high*
Rider: CURSES!
Boobu: B, stop the car, damn it!
Bspace: What do you think I'm trying to do?!
*Bspace furiously pounds the brake pedal. The General Kenobi skids to a stop. Bspace and Boobu immediately get out of the car to assess the damage.*
Boobu: I swear to the silly force, if we have to go on another damn quest to pay for that guy's medical bills...
Bspace: Uhh, Boobu, you might wanna look over there...
*Bspace points to the left, where Boobu sees 7 other guys dressed in the same kind of humanoid armor, but each sports a different color*
Boobu: What is this? Did we end up some kind of cos-play convention?
*The guy dressed in the red armor, known to the universe as SARGE, leader of the Red army at Blood Gulch outpost Alpha, points his shotgun in Boobu and Bspace's direction*
Sarge: Hold it right there, ya blue scumbags! We knew you dastardly devils were planning something huge, but we've caught on to your diabolical scheme!
*Bspace and Boobu glance at each other*
Bspace: What the hell is...
*And that's when the B-boys see that they're also dressed in the same kind of armor. Bspace sports a teal version while Boobu wears a cyan colored armor, matching the colors of their lightsabers respectively*
Boobu: aww HELL NO!!
Bspace: looks like this is definately Red Vs. Blue land Boobu ole buddy!!!
Boobu: you mean that online Halo 2 spoof webseries?
Sarge: You dirty blues!!! Admit you have been defeated by US....the RED TEAM!!!
Bspace: uh..yeah...that would be the one.
Sarge: And GREAT OOGLY MOOGLY what kind of a VEE-HICKLE is that?......dirtbags..?
Bspace: uh...thats our speeder...The General Kenobi!
Sarge: The General hoobywhatti? I know what this is!! This must be some deep secritive diabolical blue plot to confuse the red team into surrendering!!!!! ...well I"ll have to contact command!!!
Bspace: uhhhhh.....
*Church and Caboose, the only conscious members of the Blue Team at the moment, take the time to speak up*
Church: Uh, Sarge, technically, we have you outnumbered. I'm afraid we're gonna have to kick your asses now, right, uh, new blue guys?
Caboose: Yay! New friends to play with!
Church: Caboose, shut your hole.
*Sarge fires off a shot at Bspace and Boobu's feet*
Sarge: Enough squabbling! Let's get down to the murdering! CHARGE!
*Sarge leads the red team attack...in which he's the only participant. He looks back and sees that Simmons, Grif, and Donut haven't moved an inch from their spots*
Sarge: What are you ladies waiting for? A signal? A sign from above? I said CHARGE, damn it!
Grif: And while I love to die for no reason today, sir, those guys look pretty intimidating...what with those flashy, glowy, sword things they have..
*Bspace and Boobu whip out their lightsabers and ignite them and wave them around*
Caboose: OOHHH pretty!!!!!!
Sarge: I don't know where you boys come from...or from what evil BLUE dimension you harbor from...but today is a good day to die!!!!! EEEYYAAAA!!!!
*Sarge charges again, and again, nobody follows*
Sarge: Damn it..GRIF this is all your fault.
Grif: Whatever Sarge...
Bspace: actually we aren't Blues...OR reds...and we aren't from this dimension!
Sarge: But you wear the trappings of a soldier!!
Bspace: yeah I don't know how that happened..I miss my pirate hat
Sarge: Pirate hat??? just how DID you boys get here!
Bspace: well its a long story...you see..........
.....
Bspace: and thats how we got here!
Church: that doesn't make any sense! All you said was, "and thats how we got here!"
Bspace: Oh.
Bspace: well let me start again!....It all started when I went to my buddy Boobu's house here to see if he was going to road travel with me!
*3 hours, 24 minutes and 15 seconds later*
Bspace: and THAT is how we got here!
Caboose: soooo....you went back in time to Korriban...and didn't change.....anything....
Boobu: No.
Caboose: see I would have changed things so you would be on your masters good side! YAY!
Bspace: yeah we didn't have time for that...we were too busy tracking down shyracks with Pokeballs....
*Over in the distance, Tucker groans in pain*
Church: Oh, shit! I forgot! Tucker, Tucker! You all right man?
*The reds and the blues split up to convene about the arrival of Bspace and Boobu*
Boobu: B, I have an idea.
Bspace: Oh, no...
Boobu: Shut up! But seriously...if we wanna learn more about what's going on here, it might be a good idea if we split up.
Bspace: What good will that do?
Boobu: ...are you serious? I just told you! We split up and learn more about these guys and our surroundings!
Bspace: Oh! When you put it that way, it makes more sense!
*Boobu slaps his forehead, but ends up hitting the brow of his helmet instead...which wracks his face*
Boobu: Okay, you go with that Sarge guy and I'll go with the Blues. With any luck, we'll learn all we need to know before too long.
Bspace: Sounds good to me! We'll send text messages on a secure line so they won't know we're spying on them. Hehehee, always wanted to be Sam Fisher!
Boobu: Who?
Bspace: Sam Fisher! Ya know? The main character from Splinter Cell?
Boobu: Urgh, you and your games ...seeya soon, Master Bspace
*Boobu walks off to join the blues, where Tucker is lying*
*Bspace hobbles off back to the Red's...still trying to adjust to his new armor*
Bspace: dang this thing sure chafes! you guys ever have that problem?
*Sarge whips around and shoves the the tip of his shotgun in Bspace's visor*
Sarge: Just what do ya think you're doin, scumbag?!
Donut: Yeah, I have chafing problems all the time! Uh...I mean, hey, evil blue guy! You can't come over here!
Bspace: Uh...I want to join the RED TEAM!! afterall...you guys are CLEARLY superior..and...Hey I didn't know you had a female on the team!!! you in the pink armor!...HI!
Donut: Aw, no! Not you too! It's not...
Grif/Simmons: It's pink!
Sarge: And what do you mean, join us? Your armor is blue, which clearly shows your affiliation with those blue losers!
Simmons: I dunno, Sarge, I think having a blue guy on the red team could be a break from the norm.
Sarge: There's a reason why we have a norm, son. He's a blue, and we're reds! End of story!
Bspace: hmm...actually your sarginess...IF you examine me closer.....no not that way you perverts....my armor is TEAL.....Teal is not Blue!....I am my own man err..soldier!...and I and only I choose who my allegience is with...except when Boobu screws me into some kind of slavery!
Sarge: Well, son, you've got courage, I'll give ya that. And I like your "never say die" attitude! I suppose I could sleep on my decision. But for now, just follow pretty in pink back to our base. Red Team, return to base!
*Sarge walks off, again, by himself back to the red's base of operations in blood gulch. The other guys head back that way too*
Grif: Well, I guess this means you're in. But can I ask you something?
*Bspace starting to walk back to the speeder to drive it back to the base..stops and turns*
Bspace: sure...Grif, is it? WAZZUP Dawg
Grif: This is kind of an important question, so you have to be as honest as possible when you answer.
*Bspace leans closer in anticipation*
Grif: Are you a kiss-ass? Ya know, like that guy in the maroon armor is?
Bspace: ....Heck no...you'll find I'm full of surprises
Grif: (breathes a sigh of relief) Ya know, having a blue guy might not be so bad after all. You can hang with me, that is, if, ya know, you're not a stuck up prick. Oooh, can we take a cruise in that pimped out ride of yours?
Bspace: heheheheeheheh....thought you'd never ask...
*Bspace leads Grif to the General Kenobi*
Bspace: Hop in!
*Grif Does so*
*Bspace hoodslides and hops in the driver's seat and ignites the GK and it roars to life*
Bspace: Hang on
*Bspace GUNS the General Kenobi and it screeches and speeds toward the red base where Sarge and Co. are a bit ahead*
Bspace: now HOLD ON!
*Grif is Speechless*
*Bspace hits a hill and the GK FLIES and SAILS over Sarge and the other red teammates*
Bspace: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAW!!!!!! *bspace blows the horn of the speeder*
*and lands with a THUD*
Bspace: WOO!
Sarge: SWEET DUKES OF HAZZARD! What was that?!
Simmons: Uh, it looked like a car making an arial stunt.
Sarge: I can see that, smart-ass. What I want to know is...hey, where's Grif?
Donut: You wanna know where Grif is? Oh, happy day! I knew you two would finally bury the hatchet!
Sarge: Hah! I'd become a feral mexican sasquatch first! I just wanna know where Grif is so I can yell at em!
Simmons: Sarge...did...did you just call me a...Smart-ass?!
Sarge: I guess you must be goin deaf too, son! Now get a move on! We've gotta formulate a new plan for destroying those wretched blue devils!
*Meanwhile...back over with the Blues*
Tucker:....ohhhhhhh....unnnhhhhh....who the hell are YOU *points to Boobu* and what the hell hit me????
Church: Damn tucker...you got hit by a car!!! and yeah...its this dude's fault...whatd you say your name was again anyway?
Boobu: Here, allow me to give you my card...
*Boobu hands Church a thin plastic card that has a cartoon representation of Boobu and a message*
Caboose: oooooo!!! how representable and professional like! I want to see!!
*Caboose snatches the card from Church*
Church: DAMNIT Caboose!
Caboose: Hmm...says here he's the dark lord of the silliness!!! YAY!!!
Church: you GOTTA be kidding me....why the hell would anyone want to be called the dark lord of the silliness?? thats just gay....
Boobu: Your arrogance blinds you, Master Leonard. Now you will experience the full power of the dark silly side!
*Boobu allows Church to experience first hand, the diabolically funny energies of Silly Lightning*
Church: OWWWWW HEHEHEHEHEEEE Holy Crap!!!!!
Tucker: whoa...!
Caboose:...umm...running time???
Boobu: Not to worry, guys. If none of you make it a habit of pissing me off, I'll spare you further displays of my power.
Church: whoa...hold up there buddy...I'm the leader of this here Blue Team
Tucker: HA!
*Church kicks Tucker in the gut*
Tucker: Unh...
Church: and you will take orders from me!
Caboose: oooOOooo
*Boobu puts up his hands*
Boobu: Okay, I can deal with that...for now, hehehehee..
Church: alright...lets head back to base blues!
Tucker: one...question...remains....WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIT ME WITH YOUR DAMN SPEEDER?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
Boobu: You? I thought we hit some purple guy. When the hell did we run you over? Oh wait, it's coming back to me now!
*Boobu flashes back to when the General Kenobi emerged into blood gulch. First they hit Tucker, then they hit the purple guy...*
Boobu: Crap! Sorry dude, allow me to heal your injuries...
*Boobu waves his hand over Tucker, and the mystical energies of the silly force washes over him, healing his broken bones and other injuries*
Tucker: thanks man!...now do you have anything for a lonely heart?
Church: yeah he hasn't seen any females in a long time...and its starting to bother us
Boobu: Brother, I could write a book on the subject! But perhaps I won't have to, for, look, I sense a female approaching us...
*Tex meets the Blues on the hill leading to their base*
Tex: alright losers, I'm back
Caboose: Hi Tex!!
Church: Caboose..come on man, she doesn't like you.
Caboose: but...whats not to like about cute ole caboose??!!
Tex: who the hell is this guy in the cyan armor???
*Boobu approaches Tex and kneels before her. He takes her hand and kisses it...well, as best as he can, considering that he's wearing a fully covered helmet*
Boobu: I, my dear Alison, am Count Boobu. And it's a great pleasure to meet you...
Tex: oh....my goodness!!!
*the cheeks of Tex's helmet turn pink*
Church: oh dear GOD
Tex: its...nice to meet you too...Count Boobu
*Tex...noticing the stares of the others*
Tex: what are you all looking at?!!?!
Caboose: uh...the pretty love birds flying about freeee!!!
*Boobu gets up, grinning evilly underneath his helmet*
Boobu: What? It's a crime where I come from not to notice a beautiful woman.
Church: I think I'm gonna be sick...HEY you TWO!! can we get going????
Tex: I...I've never had that kind of attention before!
Church: WHAT THE $#%^ WOMAN!! I give you damn affection!!!!
oobu: Oh my...I didn't...I mean...you two...?
*Boobu glances back and forth between Tex and Church*
Boobu: Hmm...this is about the time my buddy Bspace would say...awkward silence!
Church: Yes actually we....
*Church is cut off*
Tex: No...not anymore anyway...
Church*muttering*: damn you all to hell!
*meahwhile...Caboose plays with a stick he found*
Tucker: Man, I can't believe this crap! I've been hitting on Tex ever since I found out she was a girl and all she's done is threaten to murder me! This Boobu guy comes in for a few minutes, and she's on his arm! WHAT THE f%^ man?!
Church: Well...AHEM....you must be HUNGRY...back at our base we have 3 day old slop that Caboose made if that strikes your fancy
Boobu: Oh I'm sure I could conjure up something. And I can conjure up something really special for you, Alison, my dear.
Tex: aww thanks Boobu!!!...it is okay if I call you Boobu....isn't it?
Re: On The Road with Bspace and Boobu, Ep IV: Now Where Are
*RED BASE*
*Sarge has his team assembled before him outside the base's perimeter...Bspace is amongst them as well*
Sarge: Mornin' ladies. Can anyone tell me why I have assembled you here...today?
Bspace: uhh maybe perhaps you have something useful to tell us, which would be a first, judging from what I've learned from...Grif
Sarge: Quiet, traitor!
Simmons: Sir, technically, this Bspace guy hasn't done anything yet to label him as a traitor.
Sarge: Simmons, have you lost your mind?!
Simmons: Actually, sir, yes. You made me into a cyborg remember?
*Grif nudges Bspace*
Grif: Maybe that explains why he's such a kiss ass...
*Bspace bursts out laughing and quickly quiets himself*
Bspace: Yes, Mr. SImmons is correct....I just got here!...and I've seen your holo transmissions on the Galaxy Wide Web...you guys aren't known for getting things done
Sarge: If you ladies are done lollygaggin, we can get back to the matter at hand!
Donut: Oh, I love lollygaggin, it's my favorite flavor of whipped cream!
*everyone stares at Donut for a moment, then Sarge clears his throat*
Sarge: Anyway, it's come to my attention that the Blues have been getting a serious upper hand on us lately. Sure, we may have defeated them twice in battle...
Simmons: Sir, I just thought you should know that you contradicted yourself.
Sarge: But our recent battles have not gone as planned! Which is why I've decided we should conduct drills!
Grif: Drills? As in...doing stuff?
Bspace: you know, perhaps i should take over this team ..I've had military experience with my buddy Boobu!...I've outrun imperial starships. Err I mean, Covenant Warrior ships.
Sarge: Listen ya blue scum, the only thing you're gonna be taking over is Grif's sleeping quarters after you kil...er...if you can neutralize him in battle! Him and Donut anyway.
Donut: Oh cool! Grif and I get to work as a team? We're gonna have so much fun!
Sarge: Damn straight you are! Hours and hours of bloodletting happy times!
Simmons: Sir, what do I get to do?
Sarge: Simple, you get to supervise. While the blue here is busy killing Grif...er...neutralizing Grif and Donut, I'll be on the line with Red command to find out what our next orders are.
Simmons: You're not even gonna watch to see what happens?
Grif: I have to say, Sarge, I'm kind of surprised. I always thought you'd want to be around for my murder.
Sarge: Oh, I wish there was another way son ...but for now, you'll just have to pretend that Simmons is me. Now hop to it ladies, let the death and mayhem begin!
*Sarge walks away...and everyone stares at Simmons*
Bspace: Wait Mr. Sarge!! Do I get a weapon or something? or am I all alone here?
*Bspace glares at Grif and Donut analyzing what kind of a threat they would be.....obviosly not much of one..he concludes*
*BLUE BASE*
*Boobu is practicing his saber techniques...and Tex watches on, both in wonderful amazement and loving adornment*
*And that's when Church shows up*
Church: What'd ya doin out here, Tex?
Tex: Watching a REAL man practice weapons techniques
Church: WHAT!!!! Lets not forget who knew how to use a gun way back on Sidewinder!
Tex: HA! a gun...Boobu's weapon here is far more civilized and elegant!
Church: Just what the hell is that anyway?
*Boobu summersaults and lands in front of Tex and Church with his lightsaber still activated*
Boobu: It's my lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Sith Lord. Not as clumsy or random as a machine gun...but an elegant weapon from a more brutalizing age.
*Tex is in awe at the sight of Boobu's saber...no, not in that way, but in a respectful manner*
Tex: Boobu...may I....hold it?? I..I promise I'll be gentle
Church: good GOD
*Boobu deactivates the saber and gives it to Tex handle first and moves off to the side*
Boobu: Becareful, Tex. A lightsaber is no trivial thing to handle. If used wrongly, you can bring great harm upon yourself, or those closest to you!
Tex: man! every girl should have one of these!!
*Tex ignites the saber and it hums to life*
Tex: WOW...I can feel it!! I can feel it inside me!!!!...the POWER....*Squeee!*
Church: oh come on, gimme that thing!
*Church snatches the lightsaber and scoffs*
Church: HEH, doesn't seem so special to me...
*Church twirls it around, flips it in the air and tries to catch it, but ends up grabbing the blade*
Church: OWWWWW GOOD GOD THAT HURT!!!! WHAT THE FUCK MAN! this weapon is EVIL!!
Boobu: I told you, a lightsaber is no trivial thing to handle!
*Caboose and Tucker walk into the scene*
Tucker: Whassup dogs?
Caboose: Ooooh! A shiney stick! Oooh, oooh, Church, let me touch it! Please?!
Church: uhh...sure! Cabboose old buddy...come right over here
Caboose: YAY!!!
Tucker: this can't be good....Church called Caboose buddy
Boobu: Don't underestimate the silly force, my friend. I sense a great power in Caboose...in time, he may learn to use it as I have...
Church: Uh, on second thought Caboose, maybe you shouldn't...
*Caboose activates the lightsaber and wields it with a sense of mastery*
Boobu: Impressive! Most impressive!
Church: Holy Crap!!!
Tex: Wow!! Caboose I had no idea!!
Tucker: Word.
Caboose: Yes!! now you all feel the awesomeness power that is ME! CAboose!!
*Caboose runs outside the base, and etches his name in the wall, near where he made it with bullet holes...it spells "Cabose"*
Caboose: Mr. Boobu!!!!! what do you think!!
Boobu: I think...that you're fulfilling your destiny, Caboose. Become my apprentice...learn to use the dark silly side of the Force!
Caboose: will there be fairies and magical pixie muffins?? !!
Boobu: Er...yes...just replace with fairies with silly lightning...and magical pixie muffins with dark side pies...
Caboose: ooohh sounds fun YAY!!!!!!!
Church: Caboose man, I don't think thats such a good idea bro!
Tucker: yeah man, ditto to the C-man!
Tex: ohhh...I love how he seduces people...
Church/Tucker: ...
*Boobu grins at Tex, who reciprocates the expression. He then goes over to Caboose and has him kneel before him*
Boobu: The silly force is strong in you! A powerful comedian, you will become! Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth...Senseless...!
Caboose: oh YAY!!! ALL will fear the mighty Caboose!!!!!
Church: uh Boobu, dude....don't encourage him...
Boobu: Quiet, you! For 400 centuries have I trained silly sith! My own counsel I will keep on who is to be trained!
Tex: Oh, Boobu...will you train me too?
Boobu: My dear Alison, your skills are already complete. And someday, you will rule by my side as Empress of the galaxy!
Tex: oh...you are just too much!
Church: oh...I'm going to be sick
Tucker: you said that 3 times today
Church: yeah well each time I'm only getting sicker!
Caboose: so what do I do now master Boobu man?
*Boobu grins evilly...*
*Back at Red Base, Simmons is coming up with a battle drill idea...*
Grif: This is the worst idea I've ever heard...
Simmons: No it's not, it's brilliant! You and Donut will hunt Bspace in the caves, and we'll see how well he evades you. It's brilliant!
Grif: Now you're starting to sound like Sarge...
Simmons: That's a bad thing?
Grif: How can I put this?...YES, IT IS!
Bspace: hey guys, I thought Sarge said I was to hunt YOU! buaahahahahhaha!
Simmons: Oh yeah, he did say that...well...just go ahead and do that then...
Donut: Simmons, you're the best. I so envy how you can make hard decisions in split seconds! Man, I wish I could be as great as you!
Simmons: What can I say, Donut? Leadership just comes really easy to me.
Grif: Can't come any easier than kissing Sarge's ass at will.
Simmons: Oh, shut up and get to work!
Bspace: So guys, how do we get to these caves you speak of? are we taking your primitive vehicle...or my suped up speeder?
Donut: Oh, it's simple! We run!
Grif: Hell, no!
Donut: But Grif...the caves are only five hundred feet away! We could get there in a minute if we ran!
Grif: Donut, do you understand what HELL NO means?
Bspace: yeah I'm with Grif...I'm still worn out from a massive lightsaber duel I had recently on the side of a volcano...lets take my speeder ...Grif has already had the pleasure
Donut: But that thing only seats 2 people! And there's three of us! How am I suppose to get to the caves?
Grif: Oh, it's simple, Donut. You run
*Bspace and Grif take off in the speeder, leaving Donut to run in order to catch up*
Bspace: come on Grif!!! same arrangement as before!
*Bspace hood slides and hops in the drivers seat of the GK, while Grif gently gets in thru the window*
Bspace: why did you get in via the window?
Grif: yeah, I've seen the Dukes of Hazzard too..I know what your inspiration for this speeder is
Bspace: I love you man
*Suddenly, a familiar voice resonates in B's mind*
*BSPACE...BSPACE...YOU MUST GO TO THE DAGOBAH SYSTEM...*
Bspace: ! holy crap?! Dagobah System????
Boobu: Hahah, nah, just wanted to screw with yer head. So, what have you learned so far about our new companions?
Bspace: Boobu old buddy...I'm surrounded by idiots Their chain of command is loose if that...they have me in a drill hunting 2 of the red team members!!!! what about you?
Boobu: Doesn't sound much better than here. I've pretty much defied their so called "leader" again and again, and to add the icing on the evil cake...I'm turning some of these blues to the dark silly side.
Bspace: Why am I not surprised ...you never give up do ya! LOL!.....hows things going with that Tex chick?
Boobu: Alison, or Tex as she's more commonly known as, share a mutual attraction. She's attracted to my power...as I am attracted to hers, muhahahahah! And it's pissing off that Church guy, so that's a bonus, hehehee.
Bspace: sounds like it is progressing exactly as we have foreseen....soon the reds and the blues will be fighting each other relentlessly, and we will have our victory party! buahahaha
Boobu: Indeed...but there's still a few missing pieces...we must figure out what this war between the reds and the blues will mean for our finally getting home. I hope you've made yourself nice and comfortable, Master Bspace...for we must remain here a little while longer...
Bspace: well I've not even seen my quarters yet...but judging from how things go around here...I don't have high hopes....but fear not...I will make it work...............................one way or another
Bspacewiz2 Death Tot Commander
Posts: 154
(9/29/06 9:34 pm) Reply
Re: On The Road with Bspace and Boobu, Ep IV: Now Where Are
*The CAVES*
*The General Kenobi arrives at the entrance of the caves. Grif and Bspace promptly make their exit and wait around for Donut to catch up*
Grif: So, B, I can call ya B, right?
Bspace: sure thing! Boobu always does...B, Bspace, Betty Boop, Beebers, its all good
Grif: B it is then. So, B, do you really wanna do this stupid combat drill thing?
Bspace: eh not really...right before we arrived here, we were part of this epic pirate treasure quest, and had a mass fight on this volcanic island with stormtroopers and the evil sheriff mary! our nemesis, and found these golden shorts! and..well in other words..no..I'm worn out as all getout
Bspace: btw...why is Donut taking so long? he isn't picking flowers is he?
Grif: Eh...pirates? Shorts? Lemme guess...there were bar wenches too werent there?
Bspace: like you wouldn't believe! Boobu tried to have his way at em..but he ended up getting humiliated as usual ...but he seems to have taken a liking to that Tex gal tho
Grif: Wait, back up a sec. That Boobu guy is trying to date Tex?!
*Just then, Donut arrives, and out of breath*
Donut: Hey...you...guys...that...wasn't...funny!
Bspace: Well donut, it WAS your idea....besides..you have to maintain your girlish figure dude! LOL! aint that right Grif
Grif: Hehehe, word, B.
Donut: Enough...kidding...around! *catches breath* Okay, Blue, get in the cave! That's an order!
Grif: Since when did you become a commanding officer...rookie?
Donut: Since Simmons put me in charge of this drill! Yeah, I had a good long chat with Simmons while you guys left me in the dust. I'm in charge of things now, so you have to do what I say! So ha ha!
*Bspace and Grif look at each other...then donut...then laugh hysterically*
Bspace: Yeah right Donut! the whole point Sarge said was for me to hunt you two...I highly doubt Simmons would go AGAINST what Sarge says
Donut: Darn! I guess you're just too clever for me...
*Donut begins to sob, prompting more awkward glances between Bspace and Grif*
Grif: Okay, that does it...
*Grif whacks Donut over the head with the butt of his gun. Donut cries out in pain but then immediately falls unconscious*
Bspace: Nice goin grif, now what do we do Leave him for the Shyrack?
Grif: What? Oh, nevermind. I just can't stand to watch a grown man cry. Makes me sick, ya know?
Bspace: No, I don't know! I just met you 2 hours ago! How could I possibly know what makes you sick???
Grif: Look, man, let's just go back to red base and find ways to annoy Sarge. I think you'll get to know me pretty well in that aspect.
Bspace: muahahaha I like your style already ..do you think Donut or Simmons would join us?
Grif: Nah, they're neck and neck when it comes to kissing Sarge's ass. But don't worry, if you're half as powerful as I think you are, we won't need them for what I'm planning.
Bspace: oh gooooooood GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD...lets get back in my speeder and we will get to plotting !
*Bspace and Grif get back in the General Kenobi, and B floors the pedal swirving and burning rubber and doing all kinds of special moves*
*BLUE BASE*
*Boobu is teaching Caboose the ways of the dark silly side by having him recite the Silly Sith code*
Boobu: There is no drama...
Caboose: there is no bitchy whining!!
Boobu: No, no, you've got it wrong. It goes, "Hugs are a lie. There is only bitchy whining."
Caboose: uhh...Hugs are a OHH look a birdy!!!! YAY!!!
Boobu: Yes...yes...Caboose, call to the birdy. Use the silly force to make it understand you.
Caboose: Yes master booby! BIRDIE come HERE!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!
*Caboose wishes the bird to land on his shoulder...but ends up crushing its windpipe, thus killing it.*
Caboose: ! what have I done!!!!!!
Boobu: You must be careful with your new power Caboose. If you don't know how to properly wield it, you will destroy all which you hold dear. Next time, keep an amusing thought in your head. Like right now, think of something funny...and your birdie will come back to life!
*Caboose trains on a silly thought...and suddenly...Boobu's leg/pants armor falls down, and the bird comes back to life*
Caboose: Master boobu I did it!!!!!!!
*Boobu quickly puts his armor bits back on*
Boobu: Indeed! Now use the birdie for something more amusing...like pecking Church in the face, hehehe...
*Caboose turns and faces Church and Tucker's Bedroom, and Caboose focuses with all his measly might*
*from the bedroom*
Church: OWWWW DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!
Caboose: YAY!!!!
Boobu: Gooooooooooooooooood, Caboose! Very gooooooooooooood! Now, let us go back to reciting the silly sith code.
Caboose: hehehe YAY!!!! I KNEW I could do it!!!!
*Boobu uses the silly force to throw a rock at Caboose's head. Caboose falls over in a comical way*
Boobu: Focus, my silly apprentice! Now, riiiiiiiiise!
Caboose: OWWWWW!!!!
*Caboose wobbles to his feet holding his head while his knees quiver to and fro*
Boobu: Now, we shall go back to reciting the silly sith code so that you can understand the philosophy of my teachings! Now, finish the code as I speak it to you...
Caboose: um...okay Master Boobu...but no more rock throwing!!!! or it will be RUNNING TIME!!!
Boobu: Hugs are a lie...there is only...
Caboose: Bitchy Whining!!
Boobu: Through bitchy whining I gain...
Caboose: Alienated companions!
Boobu: Through alienated companions I gain...
Caboose: Nobody to come over next saturday waaa!!!!
Boobu: And when nobody comes over next saturday...
Caboose: My popularity is broken!! Creating a badass Internet alter ego will set me FREE!!!
Boobu: Very good...now, tell me, Caboose...True or false: there is nothing worse than having your brother steal your fiance?
Caboose: False! I once had MY fiance steal my brother!!! I never saw either one of them again
Boobu: Interesting...I shall test you no further. You understand the code completely.
Caboose: oh THANK you master Boobu!!! I will be forever in your gratitude!!!
*in walks Tex*
Tex: Gratitude for what? whats up boys
Boobu: Ah, Tex, goooooooooood timing. Caboose and I were just finishing up for the day. Move along now, Caboose. Tex and I have...things to discuss.
Caboose: um, YES SIR Mr. Boobu!!!! oh of what wonderous and glorious things will you have me do? !
Boobu: Just relax for the time being. Now go, my silly apprentice, I have matters to attend to.
Caboose: ummm....OKAY!!! Maybe Church will want to play football!!! YAY!!!!
*Caboose Exits*
Tex: so I see your power is being influenced among these guys
Boobu: Oh yes...soon, Caboose will know the full power of the dark silly side! But in the meantime, there's something I wanted to ask you.
Tex: and what might that be my big strong magical dude?
Boobu: It's pretty obvious that we share a mutual attraction, so, how about we go out on a date?
*as this conversation ensues, one can't help but notice a pair of onlookers, from down the hall*
Church: Tucker man!! what are they saying?!?!
Tucker: ahh...I think that Boobu guy just asked Tex out on a date!!
Church: WHAT!!! no way! your yanking my chain...let me listen in!!
*Tucker and Church change places*
*back in the room*
Tex: oh my!! well..I haven't done this sort of thing in a long time..but yes..I'd LOVE to go on a date with you!
*in the hallway*
Church: ...$@$%^@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tucker: Damn, dude, this Boobu guy is one smooth operator!
Church: shutup you idiot! I don't get how this guy can waltz right in here like he owns the place, get with my girl, and she doesn't even take a second glance!!
Tucker: I dunno man...but you better step up your offererings if you hope to win her back!
*Meanwhile, back with Boobu and Tex*
Boobu: Goooooooooooooooood! I know the perfect spot. Meet me outside the base at sunset. I'll take care of the rest. See you soon, Alie
*Boobu walks away, practically strutting*
Tex: hehe, okay Boobie! errrr...Boo
*Tex giggles and walks down the hallway where she sees Church*
Tex: ahh how expected.....
Church: Tex, what's going on? How can you let this guy seduce you like that?! I've seen you beat the crap out of guys for saying lamer things than Boobu!
Tex: There is a key point you seem to miss! What Boobu tells me is from his heart....not his groin..
Church: Hey, at least I'm direct. I don't try to spout out any bullshit like "I see we share a mutual attraction." What the fuck kind of shit is that?
Tex: *sigh* ...THAT....is why you fail...later boys....I need to prepare for my date with a REAL man!
*Tex exits*
Church: Tex, wait! I can say romantic things too! Like uhh..."to be or not to be..."...uhhh...shit, what comes after that?
Tucker: Smooth, dude...
*Back across the other side of Blood Gulch to the RED BASE where Bspace and Grif prepare to launch a silly attack of pranks against Sarge*
Bspace: so Grif...just what the heck did you have in mind for pranking the sarge?
Grif: Sarge's trying to find out what our next orders are. He usually ends up talking to this bastard named Vick, and Vick tells Sarge plain and simple what the next move is. But Sarge doesn't like to hear what Vick has to say, he prefers to talk to the higher ups in Red Command. If I had to guess, I'd say Sarge is in a heated dispute with Vick right now.
So, here's the plan. We hi-jack the transmission by talking to Sarge through the Warthog's radio. We can make up scary voices and crap like that, heheheh.
Bspace: HAHAHAHA man that is a BRILLIANT idea!!! ....where do you guys keep your "warthog"?
Grif: Right over there...*sighs*...where Simmons is standing...
*The General Kenobi pulls up next to Simmons, who stands directly in front of the Warthog, playing a handheld videogame system. Simmons notices Grif and Bspace disembark from the GK*
Simmons: Grif? Bspace? What the hell are you guys doing back so soon? And where's Donut?
Bspace: OH SIMMONS thank the maker!!! we were hunting each other as ordered, but an accident ensued!!!
*Bspace winks at Grif*
Bspace: we think he's dying, and we have a fear of seeing blood!! I think you better run after him and make sure he's okay!!!
Simmons: Run? Forget that, I'll just hop in the Warthog!
Bspace: uhhh WAIT simmons!! Take my speeder the General Kenobi!!! its MUCH faster and more powerful!!
Simmons: Well, it does have a kickass sound system. Okay, I'll be right back guys!
*Simmons tries to slide over the hood of the GK and ends up rolling over and falling on his face. He quickly gets up, gets in, and shoots off in the GK, obviously having no control of vehicle*
Grif: Ya think that'll keep him distracted long enough?
Bspace I hope so...my main concern is that he doesn't reck my speeder! now lets get the warthog!!
*Bspace and Grif race to the Warthog*
Bspace: uhh perhaps you better drive..this system is rather alien to me!
Grif: Rodger that...
*Grif hops in the driver's seat and turns on the Warthog's radio. He turns the dial, until he eventually picks up on Sarge's broadcast signal from within the base*
Sarge: ...confound it all, Vick! I told ya for the last time, lemme speak with the higher ups at Red Command! You only feed me the same baloney every time we speak!
Vic: well hey dude! don't be given me no lip! or
*CRACKLE CRACKLE*
Bspace*in Darth Vader style voice*: Ahhh....if it isn't the puny seargent of the LOSING red team!
Sarge: What the?! Vick, you do not want to play games with me at a time like this!
Vick: ...wasn't me dude...!
Bspace: A HA HA HA HA HA...Think about it Sarge...you get your orders from this man...you yourself have wondered why the reds have not yet defeated the blues!!! this puny human is part of a larger conspiracy against the RED TEAM!!!!!
Sarge: That's not true! That's impossible!
Grif: *Palpatine voice* Search your feelings Sargie...you will know it to be true...
*Grif puts his hand over the radio microphone*
Grif: I always wanted to say that, heheh.
*Bspace restrains laughter*
Bspace: AHEM....you WILL heed our demands....if you want to know what happened to your UNCLE a ha ha ha...
Sarge: My uncle?! How in tarnations do you know about my uncle?!
Vick: Okay dude...this is me signing off from this scary transmission!
Bspace: I know a LOT about you Sarge...remember many eons ago when you met that monkey who claimed to be your uncle? HE too, was in on the larger conspiracy!...EVERYTHING has gone according to my design, to lead you to this moment!
Grif: Man, this is too good!
Sarge: No...no...not again...this can't be happening again! I want my mommy!
Bspace: *giggle* Ahem...there is but ONE way...you can end this ceaseless torment!!!!! you will hereby RELINQUISH all contact from Vic....and from now on...will answer only to MEEE...I will give your orders....FURTHERMORE.
Bspace*to grif*: this part is for you man hehe
Bspace: FURTHERMORE, you will step DOWN as the leader of the RED TEAM...to GRIF! A soldier proven far more effective in combat than you ever were!!!! WHAT SAY YOU?
*Sarge gasps and runs away screaming from his radio post*
*Bspace and Grif burst into laughter and hi-5 each other*
Grif: Dude, that was awesome!
Bspace: man you know it!!! You will have sarge eating out of your hand once I'm gone from this place that should make things a bit easier for ya!
*Meanwhile, Simmons is desperately trying to get control of the GK*
Simmons: Goddamn it! How do you drive this thing?!
*Simmons sees that he's approaching a series of large stones*
Simmons: OH SHIT!!!!
*Simmons slams hard on the breaks, bringing the GK to a stop just in time to not hit the stones*
Simmons: What the hell is this crap?
*Simmons gets out of the GK, and gets a good look at his surroundings*
Simmons: Well this is just great, I'm almost right by the blue base. Hm, I wonder what they're doing over there...
*THWACK!!!! Simmons is clobbered upside the head by a MOST recognizable rocket launcher*
O'Malley: Neeyaahahahaha! oh I've done it.. I've done it alright, I've found the General Kenobi!
*A holographic transmission of a very recognizable silly sith from the past, fades in behind O'Malley*
Darth Elley-sar: Goood, O'Malley, very good. You have done well in finding this for me...
O'Malley: Ah Darth Elley-Sar! I was wondering when I would recieve your transmission! Now that I have the General Kenobi! It is reasonable to assume Bspace and Boobu can't be far behind...as they love their precious speeder!
Darth Elley-sar: Indeed, my friend. Place the homing beacon under the hood as planned. Then we must get back to our work of gathering all red and blue forces at blood gulch, so that your enemies may finally be annihilated once and for all!
O'Malley: NEEEYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It will be done!
*The transmission ends and O'Malley places the tracking device on the General Kenobi, and heads back to the caves to await the time of his next move*
A SUMMARIZED CONCLUSIONO'Malley: NEEEYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It will be done!
*The transmission ends and O'Malley places the tracking device on the General Kenobi, and heads back to the caves to await the time of his next move*
* * * * *
*Bspace and Boobu turn around to face us, THE AUDIENCE, in a manner that copies The Architect from the Matrix*
Boobu: Goooooooooooooood evening folks! You're probably wondering what the hell is going on, but I can assure you that we'll explain it all very clearly. Ya see, these On the road adventures take up a lot of time and effort in order to create the unique hilarity that you've been reading about over the past 3 years. So, it is with a heavy heart, that myself and Bspace have to put an indefinite hold on our continuing adventures. However, we're not going to leave you completely in the lurch. Aint that right, Bspace ole buddy?
Bspace *spinning around in his chair*: Thazzzright Boobu. In the spirit of conclusion, we have decided to more or less give you all a summarized conclusion to our current story OTR IV. As you may recall we are still stuck in Blood Gulch and need to get home, and it is here, we will tell you...THE AUDIENCE..how that came about!
*A video clip of Boobu's date with Tex and Bspace's continuing craziness with Griff is played on all of the view screens*
Boobu: As you can see, while things were getting hot and heavy with me and Tex, Bspace was getting into more and more trouble with the red team. Unfortunately, neither of our good times were long lived...
*A clip of O'Malley leading a huge army of reds and blues against the blood gulch bases plays on the view screens*
Bspace: Indeed! In a tactic to track us down, O'Malley planted a tracking device on our speeder, The General Kenobi, in hopes of leading him to the red and blue bases...Little did we know, that O'Malley was in league with Darth Elley-Sar!! Our former nemisis from our earliest of adventures, pre-dating the Sheriff Mary battles!
*A clip is seen of the B-boys driving their speeder with the tracking device installed*
Bspace: Before the Enemy troops got to the bases, it was business as usual in Blood Gulch as Boobu said...I even raced Simmons! I was in my speeder, while he was driving the Warthog....I won by nailing a jump on a hill to cross the finish line...but Simmons claims foul play!
Boobu: That Simmons always was a sore loser, heheh. And after that, all hell broke loose! It was all out war, and once again, the B boys were caught in the midst of it! It seemed like there was no hope left for us, and especially my love affair with Tex...WHEN SUDDENLY...!!!
*A rocket launcher is accidentally fired into one of the teleporters, opening a hole in the space time continuim*
Boobu: Our chance to finally go home had finally come upon us!
Bspace: But we were TORN! could we just leave our new found friends???
Boobu: We left our pirate crew
Bspace: Ahem...We couldn't abandon our comrades when it was because of us that the evil army had gotten here! So we made a decision! We would park the General Kenobi by the hole in the Space time Continuim, and fight to help the Reds and Blues beat O'Malley's forces, then when they got a handle on the battle, we'd pull out before the teleportation window closed! So we FOUGHT with our lightsabers, which hacked the enemy battle rifles to pieces!
*All out epic silliness transpires on the view screens, as Bspace and Boobu and the whole red vs blue gang have a battle royale to the extreme!*
Boobu: And just when we thought things couldn't possibly get any worse...
*Sheriff Mary, TK, and the stormies arrive, still dressed in pirate gear*
Boobu: But to our surprise, our old nemesis-eseses, er, whatever, our old foes actually joined forces with us! They reasoned that they had grown tired of Darth Elley-sar and Emperor Monkeylizard's ploys and would overthrow them. Then they made us the usual offer of ruling the galaxy with them, making things the way they wanted them to be, and blah blah blah...
Bspace: But of course we declined...afterall, how could we join a group of individuals who have been trying to kill us for 3 years?? so we pointed and laughed....then they looked pissed....so we HIGH TAILED IT!!!! With no sign of O'Malley, or Darth Elley-Sar, we high tailed it HOME....Boobu ran and tackled head first into the passenger seat of the General Kenobi, while I did a hood slide and hopped in the driver seat, and floored the pedal, did a 360, and jumped the speeder off of a hill toward the portal and we screamed in unison: YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWWW and I blew the Imperial Theme horn for good measure!...and the General Kenobi in a burst of lightning, poofed thru the portal, shutting it, trapping Sheriff Mary and TK in Blood Gulch, not caring how they got out of the pirate era!...and with a loud CRASH, Bspace and Boobu found themselves inside the General Kenobi....which had crashed into Boobu's Living room!
*Boobu slaps his forehead*
Boobu: Urgh, I'm still paying for the contractors to clean up that mess...but anyways, we had gotten home and all seemed well. But instead of going our seperate ways, Bspace and I have been taking time to reflect on what's happened to us over these past 3 years.
*The view screens are turned off as scenes of Boobu chastising Bspace over wrecking his living room are played out*
Bspace: Yeah yeah, I told you it needed redecorating anyway!!!! After I got the speeder out of his house, I drove it back to my own, and we both took a loonnnnnnnnnng nap. Since then, we have been seen going to the mall, the movies, and otherwise taking it easy after 3 years of crazy adventures...Now we are back to our old antics of trying to meet sexy space chicks, hanging out...and only now, obeying the speed limit..........
Boobu: Now I suppose you're asking yourselves, what's next for the B Boys? Will we ever have another OTR adventure in this lifetime? Well, as the old saying goes..."never say never." But in the meantime, I've got some nefarious plots to rule the galaxy through hilarious evil...and I'm thinking of settling down finally. Maybe it's time I looked up Ashla's phone number again...heheh...
Bspace: And I'm looking to expand my own empire in the Seattle System...I hope to infiltrate the Space Needle posing as an Elevator Operator, and spreading the knowledge of the silly force as well as the legends of Bspace and Boobu!!! And I hope to CHANGE its name to the Bspace Needle! Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think Boobu?
Boobu: Eh...no
Bspace: Oh...well..see if I let you to the Observation Deck!!!
Boobu: Anyways...that's all for now folks, we'll see you again someday in that silly galaxy...far far away...so uh...got any last words Master Bspace?
Bspace: GOODBYE WONDERFUL AUDIENCE!!!!!!!! *cries uncontrollably while hugging the camera*......ahem..I mean....its been one wicked fun ride!!! and who knows when we will be at it again...but rest assured...if Darth Elley-Sar poses a real threat to us in the future, you can bet that the B-boys will spring back into action to SAVE THE DAY!!!!!! and now, Goodnight..and Good Luck!
THE END!
Or Is It?
Boobu: That was so lame...
*The camera fades to black as we hear sounds of Bspace and Boobu dueling with their lightsabers and throwing verbal jabs at one another..................*
Re: On The Road with Bspace and Boobu, Ep IV: Now Where Are 
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