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Grand Admiral Malness
Member
Posts: 32
(11/5/05 12:25 am)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
Quote:
*And the fight continues. The Invisible Hand and the Doomgiver and the rest of the Shivan-CIS fleet continue to squash the LSSF.*
-On the bridge of the Cock-Knocker, things are not going well. Control consoles spark and malfunction. Readings are given about the status of the fleet's structural integrity, or lackthereof. Malness and Salnos look on with grim expressions.-
Malness: This may be the end for us, Salnos.
Salnos: What would you have us do, sir?
Malness: The high commander is in great danger. I know he can handle Count Boobu, but if Lord Slim Jim interferes in that battle, I fear for the LSSF's chance of triumph on this day.
Salnos: I understand, sir. I will go to...
Malness: No. I will deal with LSJ myself. I am giving you command of the Bitch Fist Armada. This is my last order to you.
Salnos: I...I understand sir. It...it was an honor serving under you.
-Salnos offers his hand. Malness takes it and they shake-
Malness: The honor was mine...Admiral Salnos.
-The two men salute. Salnos takes off his helmet to reveal his true face...-
Salnos: Goodbye, sir.
-Malness nods and heads for a turbolift. After he leaves the deck, all eyes turn to Salnos.-
Salnos: It is with great reluctance that I now take on this command, men. But as my first act with this new authority, I will lead fleet to the path of victory! But it can only be done with your assistance and cooperation! For Malness and Bspace!
-The Polygamy Troopers rally behind with Salnos with a war cry.-
Salnos: Make ready our invasion forces! If we can't destroy our foes from the outside, then we will erradicate them from within! Bring us within range and watch them cower as we board their ships!
-The Hoecake cruisers break from their perimeter of the combined stations and make their way towards the opposing ships. In order to cover their invasion forces, the Hoecake cruisers provide a suppressing fire of electric silly string and playdo bombs. Although fired heavily upon, a vast assortment of Pimpjuice fighters manage to dock within the DSSF vessels and board them. Polygamy troopers come pouring out, shooting first and asking questions later.-
-Meanwhile, a lone Pimpjuice fighter lands on the combined Death Tot/SDSS. Malness emerges from the fighter, alone, and seemingly unarmed, seeking out Darth Slim Jim.-
Malness: I know you're here, Slim Jim. And when I find you, you will not expect what I have in store for you...
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Imperial Colonel Dantee Cryvante
Darth Slim Jim
Posts: 44
(11/5/05 4:50 am)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*while he continiues his search for bspace Lord slim jim comes acorss bspaces control room and enters*
lsj: ha the coward left... my master will make short work of him...
*looks at the button on the desk that says never ever push this button as it will blow up the death tot in 60 min*
*an evil grin plays across his face as he breaks the glass around the button and presses it... sirens and alarms go off thru out the death tot as the self destruct sequence is activated*
*for good measure to make sure it can not be reversed lord slim jim runs his lava sabers thru the dest and consoles making sure this is irreversable*
lsj: it is done.. even if i am struck down the LSSF has lost... i have completed the ultimate goal..
*he turns to run down the same corridor b ran down only to face malness*
lsj: so we meet atlast... stand aside so i may aide my master with our final battle.. i am giving you the chance to live unlike your lackeys
*walks forward with out any fear.. *
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Dark Soul Warrior
Lord Of The Punishment
Posts: 146
(11/5/05 7:23 am)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*Meanwhile, most of the ships of Rendoxoll's fleet were crushed between the Death Tot and the Super Duper Silly Star. Rendoxoll hovers around the Bic Mac yelling orders.*
RENDOXOLL: EXECUTE ORDER 00! LOAD THE SHUTTLES! THIS IS OUR CHANCE! WE MUST STORM BSPACE, BOOBU AND TEH JAWAS! IF WE CAPTURE THEM, COMMANDER OOM-8 WILL BE NEARLY VICTORIOUS AND - WHAT THE!?
*OOM-8's fleet races to get behind Rendoxoll's, as OOM-8's cruiser explodes*
RENDOXOLL: How that!? Did he escape?
BATTLE DROID: Sensors say commander OOM-8 died before he could transferr his counciness!
RENDOXOLL: How that camo to !?
*Some seconds before, at OOM-8's cruiser*
OOM-8: Prepare to launch the vanguard! Rendoxoll's fleet is almost destroyed!
BATTLE DROID: Sir, an unedentified fighter has prenetrated our hangar bays!
OOM-8: What!?
*A starfighter, made of a taxi and a lot of bread, the same one that showed up at Planet Taters to help the LSSF, crashes in the hangar. Battle Droids rush to attack, but a Jawa, Bari, jumps outside it, ignites his lightsaber and makes a good work of them. He races through the corridors, destroying everything on sight, searching for the core reactor.*
OOM-8: BIO SCAN THE SHIP INMEDIATELY!
BATTLE DROID: The Bio Scan reveals a Jawa running thorugh the ship!
OOM-8: Could it be!?
*Bari reachs the core of the ship. When he is about to sink the saber in the reactor, OOM-8 appears and knocks him down*
OOM-8: You thought it would be so easy, cousin?
BARI: Actually I did... but now I'm here to finish what we started so long ago!
OOM-8: Glad to hear!
*OOM-8 ignites his llightsaber and both him and Bari clash in a slow lightsaber duel, wich speeds up until it finishes like Qui-Gon and Darth Maul's one in TPM. Suddenly Bari jumps and cuts OOM's head.*
BARI: Well, that was easy! Now, to the reactor...
*OOM-8, who transfererd his counciness to another OOM, speeds towards it, but he reachs too late. Lots of explosions are heard, and Bari speeds up to his ship and runs away. Before OOM realizes what happens, the cruiser explodes in a mixture of flame and molten bananas. Bari's starfighter races to the damaged Death Tot, but is lost out of sight.*
*Seconds later, at the Bic Mac, Rendoxoll stares at the explosion.*
RENDOXOLL: And so the command of that fool ends...
BATTLE DROID: Sir.... we lost? Has The Punishment disapeared forever?
RENDOXOLL: Of course not, moron! As long as the satellite stands stilll, we shall resist.... but we will not fight anymore... until we gather our forces again. I am now the supreme commander of The Punishment, and my first oreder is RETREAT BACK TO ZHARAD AT ONCE!
*The great dorid fleet jumps to hyperspace, never to be seen agin... until perhaps many, many years*
Edited by: Dark Soul Warrior at: 11/5/05 7:27 am
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Alcolyte Ackbar
Servant of Count Boobu
Posts: 378
(11/5/05 7:32 am)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*As DSSF and LSSF continue to exchange massive broadsides, hundreds of Pimpjuice boarding craft plunge through weakening shields and land in docking bays left and right. Throughout the effected ships, defense droidekas, armed marines, and Protoss zealots all don war gear to meet the new foe. Several of these boarding ships manage to clamp onto the Order Paramount"
Ackbar: How man?
Security Officer: Eight sir, maybe 100 men.
Ackbar: Were are they concentrating?
Security: It looks like they're converging on the core.
Ackbar: We cannot allow them to interfere with the repairs. Dispatch all avalible droids and marines to the reactor command matrix. Commander Hic'ertz.
Commander: Yes sir?
Ackbar: Take command of the ship. I am going to dispose of these intruders myself.
Commander: Sir?
*Ackbar walks over to a wall panel and unseals it, releaving the golden armor of a Ship Master Elite, complete with a plasma sword hilt.*
Ackbar: I never thought I'd wear this suit again. Let us hope it will be the last time I'll have to.
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Imperial Colonel Dantee Cryvante
Darth Slim Jim
Posts: 45
(11/5/05 7:53 am)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*as lord slim jim continues walking towards malness the glow of red somsumes him and it is as if he has merged with the dark silly side. it seems he has turned into a blue glowy spectre like obi wan did in episode 4 and walks right on by malness*
*malness with his mouth open in disbeleif watches the red glowy dantee leave the corridor and head towards the Super Duper Silly Star*
lsj: i told you that you will not interfer
*as he passes between the 2 great battle stations a red glowing wall covers over the access preventing anyone from following.*
*he casually walks to the battle where his master and bspace are fighting*
lsj: this is the end for the LSSF!
LSJ: I AM THE DARK SILLY SIDE!!!!!!!
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Darth Yogi aka Count Boobu
The Dark Lord Of The Silliness
Posts: 651
(11/5/05 9:01 am)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
Quote:
LSJ: I AM THE DARK SILLY SIDE!!!!!!!
*A violent explosion rips open the hull besides LSJ and sucks him into outer space.*
*Bspace watches Boobu lower his clenched fist*
Bspace: Why did you do that?
Boobu: He's letting his power go to his head. And not in a good way either. I hope this little trip out into space gives him time to think about what he's done and how he can properly do battle should we have another war.
Bspace: Can't argue with that. So, shall we continue?
Boobu: Let's 
OUT OF CHARACTER
Dantee, meet me in the out of character discussion thread. We need to talk. Now.
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Imperial Colonel Dantee Cryvante
Darth Slim Jim
Posts: 47
(11/5/05 9:16 am)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*floats into space outside the red aura fades... almost everything dantee has done the self destruct the destruction seems to fade aswell..*
*as he floats deeper into space he seems to morph into a giant Slim Jim*
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Dark Trooper Delta
Lord Choco
Posts: 219
(11/5/05 11:59 am)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*On the bridge of the Doomgiver, Delta watches Dantee drift through space*
Grievous: *through ship-to-ship comm* My Master, could I turn my ship`s turbolasers on him, please? He deserves some punishment for all he`s done!
Delta: As much as I may agree with you, Grievous, no. It would be a waste of time. Besides....*a massive jolt shakes the Doomgiver, knocking Delta off-balance.*
Delta: *now shaking from head to toe with anger* I tire of this games.
*He sees the Cock-Knocker just in front of the Doomgiver.*
Delta: General! Open fire on the Cock-Knocker! With all you got!
Grievous: Yes, my Master.
Delta: Are the flux cannons ready?
Shivan gunnery officer: They are almost ready, my Master.
Delta: When they are ready, fire them at the Cock-Knocker!
Shivan gunnery officer: Yes, my Master.
*minutes later*
Shivan: They`re ready, Master.
Delta: FIRE!!!!
*The Doomgiver then fires its two massive cannons at the Cock-Knocker.*
*On the bridge of the Invisible Hand, Grievous looks at the tactical dislays.*
Grievous: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh, this is bad.
BOOM!!!
Neimoidian: General! Damage is becoming critical!
Grievous: *now shaking from head to toe with anger, looks into the Death Tot, and the Cock-Knocker*
Grievous: I am sick of this! *cough, cough*
Edited by: Dark Trooper Delta  at: 11/5/05 12:10 pm
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Alcolyte Ackbar
Servant of Count Boobu
Posts: 379
(11/5/05 1:24 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*The sound of blaster fire echos down the corridors around the flagship's core, the lights darkened by damage to the power grid. Four polygamy troopers run down a seemingly empty corridor, weapons at the ready.*
Lead trooper: Jenkins, can you pinpoint our position?
Trooper (Jenkins): Checking sir -he checks a hand-held scanner- we should be on a service passage running parallel to main engineering. Were maybe 30 meters from the end.
Lead:Alright boys, lets get ready. Remeber, were here to flank the main defense force when the major lauches the main assault. We have to let those engineers get to the reactor.
3rd Trooper: Got it sir.
4th trooper: Lock and load. Hey, where's Jenkins?
*All stoo, looking around in the dark.*
3rd Trooper: He was with us a second ago.
*A body suddenly drops down from an open hatch above*
3rd Trooper: Oh, there he is.
..................uh oh.
Lead: Keep on guard. Maan, pick him up and lets get out of her. Maan?
2nd Trooper: Sir, why are you breathing so heavily?
Lead: What are you talking about? Where's Maan?
Where did you go?
*Slowly, the remaining trooper reaches for the beam light on his helmet. It flicks on, and a mass of gold appears inches from the trooper's face plate.*
Lead: Son of a...
*SNAP-HISS*
*From around the corner, another trooper comes running. He skids to a halt, staring at the scene before him, lit by a soft, plasma glow. A golden warrior with a huge plasma sword in his hand is standing over 4 bodies, breathing heavily. He notices the new trooper*
Trooper: Um....
Nice squiddy?
*Raising his sword, the figure charges. The trooper begins to frantically fire in his direction, scoring several hits, but the warrior keeps coming. With a swipe of the blade, the trooper's gun is cleaved in two. The trooper stumbles back, reaching for his hip gun, but the figure shakes his armored head*
Ackbar: Not this time.
Polytrper034 was beat down by Ackb4r
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Dark Trooper Delta
Lord Choco
Posts: 220
(11/5/05 3:15 pm)
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Re: "The End of the War is near"The Final Silly Fi
BOOM! *A Commerce Guils support craft, blows up by constant fire from the LSSF destroyers.*
*Then, a Banking Clan communications frigate is vaporized*
Grievous: Lord Choco, our fleet is suffering heavy casualties.
Delta: The LSSF is in the same situation. Maybe....
Grievous: My Master?
Delta: General, our ships can´t hold here forever. Our shields are being weakened, our batteries are overheated, and our engines damaged.
Grievous: So?
Delta: General, I´m going to ask for a cease-fire with the Cock-Knocker.
Grievous: Master, I´m not sure. What will Count Boobu say about this?
Delta: I don´t know. Anyway, I know what I´m doing. Besides, a cease-fire will allow the batteries to cool down, and the engineers will have a chance to repair ouir engines.
Grievous: As you wish, Master.
Delta: Thsi is Lord Choco of the Shivan-CIS fleet to the Cock-Knocker. Please respond. This is for the sake of all of us.
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Darth Yogi aka Count Boobu
The Dark Lord Of The Silliness
Posts: 654
(11/5/05 3:26 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*Meanwhile, the epic lightsaber duel with Boobu and Bspace continues*
*Boobu and Bspace unknowingly walk into an area of the stations where gravity is not stable. They suddenly find themselves floating in the air while dueling*
Boobu: All right, Zero-G fighting! Awesome!
*Bspace starts to jump and spin like a ballerina while dodging Boobu's strikes*
Boobu: Okay, maybe not so awesome...
Bspace: You're just jealous because you can't do it!
Boobu: Nuh-uh! I can do better!
*Boobu starts breakdancing. He's able to somehow combine his dance moves with saber strikes, significantly upping the ante on the danger of the fight for B.*
Bspace: *scoffs* Hah! That was so lame!
Boobu: Are you dissing me, Master Jedi?
Bspace: Damn right, foo! The galaxy will decide your fate!
Boobu: I AM THE GALAXY!
Bspace: Not yet!
*Boobu breaks into another kind of dance. The DROID...or the ROBOT as it be known on earth.*
Boobu: So it's time to boogy then...
*Bspace starts up his own DISCO influenced dance. Then he and Boobu launch into their attacks at the same time, getting their groove on, as well as getting their fight on!*
*Malness, who's standing by, puts on a dance mix version of duel of the fates. He suddenly finds himself grooving to the beat as well*
*Boobu and Bspace break from their fighting and actually start dancing with some LSSF/DSSF women who happened to be standing around. The lights to the room dims, and a disco ball resembling the death star drops down from above*
Boobu: Yeah!
Bspace: Oh man, this rules!
*Suddenly a blast of laser fire from a nearby ship blows up the disco ball, and the mood of the battle returns to the room. The women run out and Boobu and Bspace go back to fighting*
Boobu: Your ships destroyed the dance mood!
Bspace: You have done that yourself!
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Bspacewiz2
Death Tot Commander
Posts: 127
(11/5/05 3:39 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*Bspace wipes the sweat from dancing and goes back to fighting Boobu with lightsabers in the zero-G environment*
*meanwhile in space Bspace's fleet of Tot Destroyers engage the DSSF ships with B's capital Flagship, the Aclamator, leading the way as the space fight around the Death Tot and Super Duper Silly Star rages on*
*Back inside the station...the duel rages on*
Bspace: uh oh...whats that alarm I hear??
*is was the "self destruct" button Lord Slim Jim pressed*
Bspace: Oh no...
Boobu: Thats right B...your Death Tot will be destroyed
Bspace: oh no it won't...its jus that...a lot of stuff...is about to fall on us..
*Boobu and Bspace stop fighting*
Boobu: stuff?
Bspace: yeah..
Boobu: What?
Bspace: Surplus Celebration III confetti!!!!
Boobu: what...
*suddenly gallons upon gallons of CIII confetti come blasting around from the ceiling...and in the 0-G environment...it flies around at rapid speeds each piece becoming its own projectile*
Bspace/Boobu: Holy Crap!!!!!!! 
Bspace: this was only meant to be used in extreme celebrations!!!! not in a battle situation!!!
Boobu: GAH!!!!
*Bspace and boobu use their sabers to hack their way thru the confetti to a more stable location inside the Death Tot*
*they now find themselves back in the Death Tot's hangar bay*
Bspace: Boobu are you hungry?
Boobu: a lil why?
Bspace: because...since our last fight...I still have....
Boobu: uh oh..
Bspace: TOTTTTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UNNNNLIMMMITTEEED....TAAAAATER TOTTTSSSSS!!!!!!!!
*Bspace blasts Boobu with the Ionized Tot lightning as he gets pelted to the floor*
*Bspace then aims his hand over his mouth and blasts a short jab of tots in his mouth*
Bspace: Yummy!  Just like mom used to make!
*Boobu gets up*
Boobu: Bspace you have gotten far too serious...you need to lighten up!!
*Boobu blasts Bspace with silly tickle lightning and Bspace spits out the tots in great seeds of laughter and starts rolling on the floor  *
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Alcolyte Ackbar
Servant of Count Boobu
Posts: 380
(11/5/05 3:43 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*At the security command post near the core of his ship, Ackbar leans wearily against a computer terminal, clutching at his side.*
Ackbar: I was never very good at fighting like that. Commander, what's the situation?
Human Marine: Sir, the LSSF boarders are being overwhelmed and subdued as we speak.
Sir, are you alright? That blaster wound looks serious.
Ackbar: It's nothing. Have you recieved any word from the bridge?
Marine: Yes, sir. Commander Hic'ertz has asked me to tell you that the battle is not going well. Our fleet is at only 50% fighting capacity, and the 2nd fleet has been delayed by a small Consortium task force a few light years away. They do not know how soon they can arrive. However, the DSSF fleet is similarly impared, and they have pulled back completely to the Death Tot.
Ackbar: We won't be able to keep this up much longer, and we can't allow Lord CB to remain behind enemy lines. The LSSF armada must be broken. I must get back to the bridge.
*Ackbar begins to walk away, but he stumbles and almost falls, the marine catching him just in time.*
Marine: Sir...
Ackbar: No, no, I must get back to the bridge. It was foolish to come down here at all. Here, you two, help me walk.
Ackbar, still draped in his battle-scarred armor, places his arms around the shoulders of a Protoss Templar and another marine, and they slowly limp away from the waning battle beyond the command post*
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Grand Admiral Malness
Member
Posts: 33
(11/5/05 4:08 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
Quote:
*Boobu blasts Bspace with silly tickle lightning and Bspace spits out the tots in great seeds of laughter and starts rolling on the floor *
-Malness backs away from the display of silly powers.-
Malness: Bspace!
-He then looks at Boobu, who has a sadistic grin on his face as he shocks B. Malness comes up from behind Boobu and picks him up over his head*
Boobu: Oh crap!
Malness: That's right, Boobu! I know you sith are tempoarily weakened while you fire your silly lighting. You're as helpless as a nexu kitty and I'm going to toss you down that reactor shaft!
Boobu: Again, I say...OH CRAP!!!
-Malness, with Boobu over his head, slowly walks over to a nearby reactor shaft. Boobu screams and shoots out his silly lightning, some of which hits Malness, tickling him and causing him to weaken.-
Bspace: ...can...can this really work?!
-Malness reaches the shaft and tosses Boobu into it. Malness collapses right by the shaft just as he does so.-
Boobu: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!
-Malness breathes a sigh of relief-
Malness: It's done. He's gone...
*BOING*
-Boobu flies into the air and summersaults over Malness. Landing in front of him.-
Malness: What?! How...how did you do that?!
Boobu: It's called, "planning ahead", my friend. Incase someone ever got the bright idea to kill me by tossing me into a reactor shaft, I had my people install springs in strategic locations. That way if I ever get literally thrown down, I can bounce right back up.
Malness: Ingenius...
Boobu: I know. Now it's time to say goodbye...
Bspace: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
-Boobu calls forth a piece of rubble and it slams into Malness, crushing him to death. And to add insult to injury, Boobu sends Malness, with the rubble, sailing out into space.-
Boobu: Once more...the silly sith shall ruuuuuuuuuuule the galaxy!
Bspace: ...
Quote:
Delta: Thsi is Lord Choco of the Shivan-CIS fleet to the Cock-Knocker. Please respond. This is for the sake of all of us.
-Salnos answers the incoming holo transmission. The image of Delta flickers to life on a giant display transceiver-
Salnos: This is Admiral Salnos. What the hell do you want?
Delta: I am asking you to hold your fire!
Salnos: Son, it'll be a cold day in hell before I take orders from you!
Delta: I'm serious! Normally I'd just try to kill you guys and steal all your girlfriends. But this time is different. I need you to trust me on this.
Salnos: Well that certainly is an interesting, if not well thought out, and extremely enlightening response. Trooper, would you like to deliver our rebuttal?
Polygamy Trooper: -clears his throat* SUCK IT, SITH!
Salnos: Haha, in your face, you silly sith bitch!
-Suddenly, the power to the ship starts to fade and some systems go offline. Salnos sheepishly grins and turns back to look at Delta.-
Salnos: You were saying something about a cease fire? My forces are kind of severely damaged. We could use a break.
Delta: ...
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Alcolyte Ackbar
Servant of Count Boobu
Posts: 381
(11/5/05 6:06 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*At that moment, Ackbar appears on Salnos's projector, breathing heavily*
Ackbar: You have fought well today, but your ships have been beaten back, your flagship is on the verge of self destruct, and my fleet will double in size in minutes as the second fleet arrives. I offer you one chance, surrender, and none of your crews will be harmed. I advise you to make your decision quickly, as I'm sure your vessels can detect the escalated power readings in the Death Tots core. If we don't cease hostilities and move away, we will all be destroyed when those space stations detonate. You have five minutes before my fleet engages again.
*As Ackbar waits on his bridge, Lord Puppy beams an audio communication to him from her fighter, warily observing the suddenly silent enemy fleet*
Puppy: We must hurry admiral, there is little time.
Ackbar: Yes, I know. The fleet must move away from those space stations before...
Puppy: No! I sense Lord CB is in grave danger. We must get aide to him before it is too late!
Ackbar: Alright, I'll try to speed things up. Open the comm
*The communications officer opens up the holochannel again.*
Ackbar: I'm afraid I'm going to need that answer sooner than expected, Admiral. Will you submit?
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Dark Trooper Delta
Lord Choco
Posts: 221
(11/5/05 7:02 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*Delta sits back on the Doomgiver`s bridge. He is exhausted.*
Delta: It won`t be long before those space stations explode and we all die here. Ha! It will be the end of both the DSSF and the LSSF. Imagine it.
General Grievous: I have no intention of dying today, Lord Choco. I`m confident we will emerge victorious. Besides, even if Lord CB dies, Lady Vixen will rise and take his place as the new Mistress of the Silly Sith.
Delta: I`m sure CB has no intention of dying today. 
Grievous: Yes, yes, maybe you`re right.
Delta: However, I feel he is obssessed with destroying Bspace. His judgement may be clouded.
I feel a disturbance.
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Grand Admiral Malness
Member
Posts: 34
(11/5/05 7:53 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
Quote:
Ackbar: I'm afraid I'm going to need that answer sooner than expected, Admiral. Will you submit?
Salnos: Okay, but what do we get in return?
Ackbar: You?! You're surrendering! All you get is suffering and humilation!
Salnos: We've already got that! What else do you have?
Ackbar: What do you want?
Salnos: What if you admit that the DSSF sucks?
-Ackbar and his aides whisper amongst themselves.-
Ackbar: What if we admit that one of us sucks?
Grievous: Nice! Waaait! You mean LSJ, right?
-A few minutes later-
Salnos: Okay, all of the arrangements have been made. Let's do it.
Ackbar: Get on with it, Grievous.
Grievous: *sighs* Iiii would juuust like everyyyone to knoow, that Iiii suuuck.
Salnos: And?
Grievous: Aaaand that I'm a girrrl...
Salnos: Yeah?
Grievous: Aaand that I liiike ribbonns in my hair...
Salnos: What else?
Grievous: Aaand Iiiii waaant to kisss alllll the boyyys!
-Akcbar turns to one of his aides.-
Ackbar: This might be the greatest surrender of all time.
-Back aboard the death tot, in the firey rubble of the engineering deck, a strange gas starts to leak out into space. Because of the gravimetric disturbance caused by the two stations' propulsion fields, the gas is spread out evenly amongst the fleet of ships still remaining in the area.-
Salnos: Okay that concludes...
-All of a sudden, the Cock-Knocker begins to explode, as does all of the remaining ships in the bitch fist armada-
Salnos: What's happening?!
Polygamy Trooper: Sir, it's some kind of gaseous anomoly emenating from the death tot! It's destroying all the ships!
Salnos: Oh no! Silly Gas!
PT: Silly Gas?
Salnos: It was a weapon we were testing just before planet taters fell. It locks onto the energy signature of a cruiser and turns it into a flammable, flatuence gas!
PT: You're kidding...? So why hasn't the death tot/SDSS been destroyed yet?
Salnos: We were able to make the death tot's ion emissions immune to the effects of the gas. But now that the station is in ruins, there's no telling how long it'll...
-The Cock-Knocker explodes, instantly killing Salnos and everyone else. The entire bitch fist armada has been annihilated, and the gas is quickly spreading to the DSSF ships!-
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Dark Trooper Delta
Lord Choco
Posts: 222
(11/5/05 8:51 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
Delta: Oh this is bad.
Grievous: Master, this is it. We must make a choice. If we stay we`ll die. If we retreat, we`ll live to fight another day.
Delta: If we leave what will happen to Count Boobu? He`ll die.
Grievous: Master, then our only option would be to move all of the Shivan and Separatist ships as far away from here as we can. I`m sure one hundred kilometers will be okay.
Delta: *sigh* Let`s do it.
Grievous: All Shivan and CIS ships-fighters and cruisers alike-fall back! Fall back to a range of a hundred kilometers from the Death Tot and SDSS! Now!
Delta:*to Shivan communications officer* Hail the Order Paramount.
Shivan: Done, my Lord.
Delta: Okay. Ackbar. Please respond. What will you do now that our ships are being threatened? If you die here, you will be a great blow to the DSSF.
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Alcolyte Ackbar
Servant of Count Boobu
Posts: 382
(11/5/05 9:17 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
*Warning klaxons begin to blare as the outermost ships in the fleet begin to detonate*
Ackbar: Move the Fleet away from Death Tot! And get on the comm with the Invisible Hand and tell Delta that 100 kilometers isn't enough, not by a long shot. Move the fleet back to the planet's orbital plane, and inform ground command of the situation. We need planetary shields at maximum in case the case cloud reaches to far.
Helm: Coming about.
Ackbar: No! Instruct the rest of the fleet to withdraw, but we can't not yet. Lord CB is still on that station, and its reactor's almost at critical.
Commander: But sir, what of the gas? We can't survive it for long, especially after we've sustained this much damage!
*Ackbar watches as a badly damaged DSSF MC cruiser is overtaken by the expanding cloud and explodes violently after only a few moments of exposure*
Ackbar: Damn it....
Wait, yes, that will do. Comm, have Lord Puppy come aboard. I have a feeling we may need her help on the station.
Commander: But sir, what about...
Ackbar: I've got it covered.
Comm: Sir, Delta is demanding to speak with you. He is protesting our failure to withdraw.
Ackbar: Tell him...
Tell him to trust me. He is to take command of the fleet until I return. May the Silliness be with you, my warrior friend. I hope we meet again at the end of this day.
Edited by: Alcolyte Ackbar  at: 11/5/05 9:20 pm
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Dark Trooper Delta
Lord Choco
Posts: 223
(11/5/05 10:24 pm)
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Re: "The End of the Silly War is near"THE EPIC FIN
Grievous:*who is now on the Doomgiver`s bridge with Delta* Our two fleets and what`s left of Ackbar`s fleet are already inside the planet`s orbital plane and the shields are up, my Lord Choco.
Delta: These ships will be safe here. Now its up to Lord Puppy and the Admiral to bring the Count back.
Grievous: I can only hope they`re up to the challenge.
Delta: So do I, my dear General.
*Several minutes pass. The only sounds comes from the control panels all over the bridge of the Doomgiver.
Grievous: Master?
Delta: Yes?
Grievous: Would you like a cup of Tarisian ale? I`m sure you must be exhausted.
Edited by: Dark Trooper Delta at: 11/5/05 10:25 pm
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