Operation True Love: Pacey and Joey
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SnoozyC
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 24
(3/19/03 11:44 am)
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Re: Chapter Four
Awww, that was lovely :D

Am I totally evil for being full of glee when Dawson couldn't get through to him... and yet he didn't push Joey away? ;) :lol I love how she's handling him in so wonderfully gently and making him smile at the same time *sighs*

More please!

Snowie5879
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 12
(3/20/03 7:04 pm)
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Chapter Five
Hey everyone!

I just want to say that I'm sorry that I can't reply to each of you separately, cause I'm supposed to be studying right now... So I'll just say thank you all for the replies! Here's the next chapter! I hope you like it!

Snowie:)

Chapter Five:
*~*Dreams of Memories*~*
*~*Pacey's Hospital Room*~*

        Pacey tossed and turned on his bed as memories from his past invaded his dreams. Dreams that were worse than nightmares, because they had actually happened.

        "Come on Pacey!" She called. "Just a little bit further! We're almost there!"

        "Meg!" He called, hurrying after her. "I'm trying Meg! Wait for me."

        "Don't worry Pacey!" She said, turning her lovely face towards him for a brief moment, and giving him a quick, reassuring smile. "I won't leave you. We're going to be okay. We're almost there."

        Pacey shifted uncomfortably in his bed, a soft sound of distress leaking from his lips. He wished that he could call out and warn her, but he couldn't. He hadn't known then what he did now. That they had been doomed from the moment they had left the compound.

        "Where are we?" Pacey asked, as they paused for a moment to rest.

        "We're almost to the main road. There's a car stashed there...We can be in Massachusetts by tomorrow."

        Pacey felt joy spread through him. Massachusetts! Home! She was going to bring him home. "Let's go!" He exclaimed, clamoring back to his feet.

        Meg smiled at him indulgently. "Yes, let's go." They started forward again. Moments later they came to a dirt road. "Almost there!" She exclaimed softly.

        Pacey cried out, begging her to go back. To run the other way, deep into the forest where they would never find them. But she didn't hear him. She never heard him. He watched again, as she turned to him, a smile lighting her face as she led him towards the car. The smile that faded as they got closer, and saw the figures standing by it. It was too late then. Too late to run. Too late to even cry out. Too late. Always too late.

        "Going somewhere Meg?" Mama Sal asked, stepping away from the car as some of her men approached from behind them. "You taking my little boy away from me?"

        "I..." Meg said, looking around frantically. "I had to Mama! This isn't right! He should be home with his family!"

        "You questioning my judgment, girl? Well that's one thing...But to act on it..." She nodded to a couple of the men. "Show her what happens to people who cross me."

        "No Mama!" Meg cried, stepping back as the two brutes approached her. "No! Please don't!"

        "Meg!" Pacey called. He turned to Mama. "Don't hurt her Mama! Please don't hurt her!"

        "Watch and learn Sonny," Mama said, glaring at the boy. "Think about this the next time you think to run away."

        Pacey's eyes were wrenched towards Meg when she screamed in pain. "Meg!" He screamed.

        "No!" Pacey moaned, his head tossing on his pillow. "No! Please!"

        "Pacey!" Gretchen called, shaking her younger brother gently, desperate to stop those sounds. Those horrible heartrending sounds that were coming from him as he thrashed on the bed. "Pacey!" She said, shaking him a little harder.

        "No!" Pacey called, struggling against her for a moment. His eyes popped open and she stepped back slightly, scared by the desperation in his gaze.

        She stepped forward again. "Hey. It's gonna be all right, kiddo," she said softly. "I'm not the enemy."

        Pacey looked at her for a moment before realization blossomed. "Gretchen?" He questioned softly.

        "That's me," Gretchen said with a grin. "Give your big sis a hug?"

        Pacey smiled and sat up, holding out his arm to her. She stepped forward and pulled him close to her. "How're you doing, kid?" She asked softly.

        Pacey shrugged. "I've been better...but I've been worse too."

        Gretchen bit her lip and had to force back tears at the sound of his voice. When she felt that she was in control of her emotions, she stepped back and looked at him. "I missed you, Pace," she said softly, hoping that there was no expectation in her gaze.

        "I missed you too, Gretchen," Pacey said softly.

        They studied each other in silence for a moment before Gretchen took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?" She asked softly, her hand moving to lay on his arm comfortingly. Pacey looked at her for a minute and then nodded warily. "Who's Meg?"

        Pacey closed his eyes, pain ripping through him. Meg with her bright red hair. Her dancing green eyes. The sweet smile...Her face twisted in pain. Her screams echoing into the night. "Meg was a friend," he said softly, his voice breaking.

        "Pacey?" Gretchen said softly, suddenly afraid for him. He sounded so lost...

        "She....She tried to help me escape when I was twelve." Pacey's eyes opened and his gaze locked with Gretchen's. "Mama killed her."

        "I'm sorry Meg!" Pacey cried, his body convulsing in sobs as he held her limp body in his arms. "I'm sorry! I never meant..."

        "What you meant doesn't matter Sonny," Mama said, glaring down at him. "You should have known that you couldn't get away from me. You'll never get away from me."

        Pacey stared up at the woman, hopeless anger filling him as tears made their way down his cheeks. She was right. He was trapped here with her. Forever.

        "Oh Pace," Gretchen said softly, stepping forward to hug him again. Pacey took the embrace thankfully, holding on to the comfort that she was offering with everything in him. Before he even knew what was happening tears were making their way silently down his cheeks and he struggled to control himself.

        "I'm sorry," he said, pulling back from her and swiping at the tears. "I don't know..."

        "It's alright, Pace," Gretchen said softly, squeezing his hand. "You have every right to cry. You need to cry."

        Pacey looked at her uncertainly, not sure what to say. He wasn't sure how to react in any situation any more. He was so used to hiding his true feelings that he wasn't even sure if he knew how to experience them anymore.

        "Pace," Gretchen said. She stopped as a knock came on the door. They turned as Joey stuck her head in the door.

        "Oh!" Joey said, as she caught sight of Gretchen. "I'm sorry! I didn't know you were here. Sorry to interrupt."

        Gretchen looked at Pacey and was amazed at how his face had transformed. There was a light in his eyes and a small smile on his face. She turned back to Joey and smiled. "That's all right, Joey," she said softly. "I don't want to monopolize all of his time." She turned back to Pacey and held out her arms. "Hug?"

        He smiled and nodded. She stepped forward and held him close again. "Love you little brother," she said softly.

        "Love you too big sis," Pacey whispered back. "Come back soon."

        "You can count on it." She stepped back and left the room, giving Joey's arm a squeeze as she left. "Bye Joey."

        "Bye," Joey said. They watched as Gretchen left the room and then Joey turned to Pacey. "So, did ya miss me?" She asked sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

        "Oh yeah," Pacey said with a grin. "It was a horrible..." He looked at the clock at his bedside. "Fifteen hours. I don't know how I survived."

        Joey grinned back at him. "You're a tough cookie, that's how," she said.

        "Oh yeah, that's me all right," Pacey said.

        "So when are they springing you from this place anyway?" Joey asked.

        "Don't know," Pacey said with a sigh. "I think that they're still trying to determine if it's safe to let me loose in Capeside or not. There's some shrink who's getting here today. I think they're waiting to hear what he has to say."

        "Ah," Joey said.

        "So," Pacey said with a grin, shrugging off the shrink talk. "What's been up with you the past six years Jo? How are your parents and Bessie?" Pacey's smile faded as a shadow crossed Joey's face. "Jo?"

        Joey bit her lip and then sighed. "Mom...Mom died when I was thirteen."

        "Oh, Jo," Pacey said softly, his heart breaking for his friend. He held his hand out to her and she took it, squeezing it gently.

        "Breast Cancer," she said softly. "And Dad...Dad's in prison." Pacey's eyes opened wide. He remembered the Potter's as a happy, loving couple. "Drug trafficking."

        "Oh Jo," Pacey said again.

        "Bessie...Bessie's doing well with me...and Alexander." Pacey raised his eyebrows. "Her son."

        "Oh," Pacey said. "Is she..."

        Joey shook her head. "But he's around. He used to work at the Icehouse...but it's gone now..."

        "What!?"

        "A fire."

        "Geez, Jo. Did anything in this town go well while I was gone? Next thing you'll be telling me is that Mitch and Gail split up!" Joey smiled wryly, nodding slightly. "Oh, you're kidding!"

        Joey shook her head. "They're back together now though."

        Pacey was silent for a moment, trying to process everything that she had told him. "So, anything happy to report?" He asked.

        "We turned the house into a Bed and Breakfast," Joey said. "It's doing good business so far."

        "That's good," Pacey said with a smile. "And I'll bet that you're number one in the class, all the teachers adore you....Hey, speaking of teachers, what can you tell me about Tamara Jacobs?"

        "Ms. Jacobs?" Joey asked, puzzled at the sudden change in conversation.

        "Yeah, the woman who disproved my closet-case theory about Dougie. What's she like?"

        Joey shrugged. "She was my teacher. It's not like I have any social knowledge of her at all. She's nice."

        "Helpful as always Potter," Pacey grumbled.

        "Hey!" Joey said with a playful smile. "I didn't realize that I was supposed to bone up on Ms. Jacobs' biography before I came to visit you! Next time I'll be more prepared!"

        "Well, see to it that you are!" Pacey said with a grin. "I need info here!"

        "Yes sir!" Joey said with a mock salute. "Any other requests?"

        Pacey looked thoughtful for a moment. "Not that I can think of, but I'll let you know."

        Joey smiled. "So how're you doing today? Shoulder better?"

        "Yeah," Pacey said. "I'm healthy enough to go home, it's just a matter of whether they think I'm stable enough to. You know, once they decide if I'm going to collapse under the pressure of everything I've been through, you know, now that I'm finally away from it."

        Joey had to smile at the sarcasm in his voice. "You never know, Pace. The shrink, he might be cool."

        "Yeah. Right, Jo," Pacey said, looking at her doubtfully. "He's going to be some stuffy jerk in a cardigan. Not my idea of a fun time."

*~*OUTSIDE*~*

        Dawson stopped in surprise as Gretchen left Pacey's room and immediately burst into tears, burying her head in her hands and taking a deep steadying breath. "Gretchen?" He questioned softly.

        She looked up. "Oh, hey Dawson," she said softly.

        "Are you all right?"

        Gretchen sighed and wiped her tears away with her hand. "I don't even know. I'm so happy that he's home. But I'm sad too. Not that he's here, but because the more I learn about what happened to him there, the more horrible it seems and I just...I don't know how he survived for six years...and I don't know what's going to happen to him now."

        "What did he tell you?" Dawson questioned softly. "What...?"
       
        "I have to find my parents," Gretchen said. "You can come if you like. I..."

        Dawson nodded. "Is he all right?" He asked, nodding toward Pacey's door.

        "Yeah," Gretchen said. "Joey's in there with him. I think he's better then good. He...he seemed almost happy."

        Dawson nodded. "I passed your parents on my way up here. They were talking to Paul and some other guy."

        "Must be David, the psychologist," Gretchen said. "Let's go." Dawson nodded, and led her to where he had seen her parents last. As soon as she caught sight of them she hurried towards them. "Mom, Dad," she called.

        They turned towards her and her father pulled her into a hug. "What's wrong Gretchen?" He asked. "Is he all right."

        "He's okay," Gretchen said. "Well, for the moment. Joey's with him." Mr. Witter nodded.

        "Did he say something?" The man next to Paul asked.

        "Gretchen, this is David Alexander. He specializes in criminal cases dealing with children. The FBI agreed when he requested being assigned your brother's case."

        Gretchen studied him. He didn't fit any of her images of a psychologist. He was wearing jeans with loafers and a sweatshirt. His hair was slightly mussed. He looked like he had just woken up. Gretchen shrugged all that off, deciding that it didn't matter what he looked like. All that mattered was whether or not he could help her brother. If he could, he could wear a dress for all she cared.

        "Nice to meet you," Gretchen said, shaking the man's hand. She took a deep breath. "When I got there he was having a nightmare," she said. "He was calling out in his sleep for someone named Meg. He sounded...terrified. Heartbroken. I woke him up." Gretchen bit her lip, tears coming to her eyes. "He struggled for a minute and then he recognized me. I gave him a hug...and then I asked him who Meg was..." She looked everyone in the group in the eyes and then said. "Meg was his friend. She tried to help him escape...And that...that witch killed her in front of him!"

        "What!?" Mrs. Witter exclaimed.

        "When...?" Mr. Witter asked, needing to know, but on some level, not really wanting to.

        "He was twelve," Gretchen said, her tears spilling over. Her father pulled her close with one arm, using the other one to bring his wife close to his side. "Twelve Dad."

        Paul turned to David, something occurring to him. "At least now I know what he meant," he said softly. David nodded.

        "What was that?" Mr. Witter asked, looking at the two men.

        "Something Pacey said in the bank," Paul said. "Before he jumped in front of me, he told Mama Sal that he wasn't going to let another person die because of him."
       
        "He blamed himself," Mrs. Witter said, her heart breaking for her son. She buried her head in her husband's shoulder and cried. "Oh John."

        "He'll be okay," John said, looking at David hopefully. "Somehow..."

        David wished that he could reassure them, but he couldn't. Not when he hadn't even spoken to Pacey. "I'd like to meet him," he said softly.

        Paul nodded. "That would probably be a good idea."

        "Give him a few minutes," Gretchen said, a note of pleading in her voice. "Joey's in there right now....He seemed so happy to see her..."

        David nodded. He turned to Paul. "Joey?" He asked softly.

        "She's a childhood friend of his," Paul said. "So's the guy who came over here with Gretchen. Joey's one of two people from his past that he's really talked to. Gretchen's the other one. She got more out of him today then anyone else has been able to."

        David nodded. "When Joey comes out..."

        Paul nodded. "I'll ask her to stick around."

        "Thanks," David said. He turned to the family. "Paul told me a lot of what's been going on, but I'll need to talk to you all individually as well." They nodded.

        "Can I ask you something?" Mr. Witter asked.

        "Sure," David said, nodding.

        "That first night, when we saw him in the hospital in Maine...He was so open. He talked to us, let us see that he was hurting. Now, he does everything in his power to make it seem like he's fine. Like nothing in the world is wrong. Why...?"

        David sighed. "He probably considered it a weak moment. One that he'll guard viciously against in the future. You have to keep in mind that he's had to bury his true feelings, his true personality for six years. That's hard to change and he can never truly regain who he was before, because burying his personality also changed it. I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to be very hard to get him to trust you again, but you're lucky too, because there are people from his past that he trusts. Gretchen and Joey. That's a positive sign. You're going to have to be patient though. He's not going to get better overnight. It’s going to be a long road with plenty of bumps. Be prepared for that."



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Learning the truth is only the first step towards solving the Mystery…
Deadly Secrets

Joey missed her chance, but Andie has learned the importance of seizing the moment. Will Joey be able to win Pacey back?
Carpe Diem
leep4joy
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 19
(3/20/03 9:13 pm)
Reply

Re: Chapter Five
Sorry I haven't replied lately. I just couldn't handle something so sad until today.

Wow! This is so amazing Snowie. So much pain, but I know that everyone will work through it. I like that there's so much support for Pacey in this, it is a nice change from the normal. :)

I can't wait for tomorrow's update. And I love that he's already trusting Joey and Dawson shouldn't be an issue in this.

~Lee :D

LadyHaHa
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 22
(3/21/03 9:02 am)
Reply

Re: Chapter Five
I think it is incredible! The interaction between Joey and Pacey in this other place is so well done! I'm amazed at this story and each chapter just gets better and better. I can't stop reading. Sorry I missed a couple of updates I've been a little busy but please dont stop posting this incredible story. I'd be crushed. :p

Loving it!
Donna

SnoozyC
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 31
(3/21/03 11:44 am)
Reply

Re: Chapter Five
Awww I'm still loving it, but poor poor Pacey. He's really been through hell and back huh? I hope he'll open up to this therapist, because as good a friend as Joey is... he does need some professional help before he can open himself up more to her and to the rest of the world.

Fabulous fic!

millietvgal
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 3
(3/26/03 3:12 pm)
Reply

Hi
I've been following this story too. It's really great. So heart-breaking. I love it though. :)

Thanks for putting it up for us to read.

Millie

Snowie5879
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 13
(3/28/03 7:27 am)
Reply

Chapter Six: Running
Hey everyone!

Sorry that this has taken so long, but I've been really busy with exams and such. I finally had a second, so I decided to post... I hope you like this chapter!

Snowie:)

Chapter Six:
*~*Running*~*

*~*Pacey’s Hospital Room*~*

        Paul knocked lightly on the door to Pacey's hospital room and stuck his head in. "Hey, Pacey. May I come in?"

        "Sure," Pacey said. "You've met Joey, right?"

        "Yes, I have," Paul said, entering the room with David on his heels. "Nice to see you again Joey."

        "You too," Joey said politely.

        "Pacey, Joey, I'd like you to meet David Alexander."

        "Nice to meet you both," David said, shaking both of their hands.

        "Nice to meet you too," Joey said, shifting uncomfortably. Pacey just nodded in acknowledgement, studying David carefully.

        "Joey? Why don't we leave Pacey and David to get acquainted," Paul said.

        "Oh, okay," Joey said, looking at Pacey uncertainly.

        "Ah, go on," Pacey said with a grin. "As long as you promise to come back tomorrow."

        "I'll do you one better," Joey said with a grin. "How about I come back tonight with, say a whopper and fries?"

        "And a chocolate milkshake?" Pacey asked hopefully.

        "You bet."

        "Well, if you can pull that off, I'd just have to do everything in my power to have you declared a saint. Saint Josephine has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" He asked, directing the question at Paul.

        "Sounds good to me," Paul said with a grin.

        "Don't nark on us," Joey said, looking at Paul pleadingly. "It'll be hard enough to get by Nurse Ratchet without her getting outside assistance."
       
        "This place has a Nurse Ratchet?" Paul asked, raising his eyebrows.

        "You haven't seen her?" Pacey asked. "I swear the woman's possessed." He widened his eyes in mock horror. "She stood there glaring at me for ten whole minutes after I told her that hospital food should be declared toxic waste. And then she made me eat all of my stewed prunes before I could have any jello. Pure evil, I'm telling you."

        Paul laughed. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Seems to me a little fast food won't hurt you any. If she gives you a problem, tell her you have your doctor's permission."

        "Yeah, like she'd buy that," Pacey scoffed.

        "What? You don't think that I could get a nurse to do what I say?"

        Pacey looked at him doubtfully. "Keep telling yourself that Paul...but the rest of us know who really runs these places...and it's not the doctors."

        "I think that's my cue to leave," Paul said with a wry grin. "Joey?"

        "Uh, yeah," Joey said. She gave Pacey's hand a squeeze. "I'll see you later, all right?"

        "Later," Pacey said softly. He watched as the two of them left the room and then turned to David. "So, you're the shrink," he said. "I must say, you don't look much like one."

        "Been around a lot of shrinks in your day, huh?"

        "Naw, but you get this picture, you know what I'm saying?"

        "Sure," David said. "I can see where you're coming from with that. So if I don't look like a shrink, what do I look like?"

        Pacey studied him for a minute. "Couldn't tell you. For all I know this is a ploy to catch me off guard."

        David held back a laugh, knowing that he was being tested. "And if it's the way I always dress?"

        "Then I have to wonder if your opinion will be widely accepted within the shrink community."

        David laughed. "And if I told you that I'm well thought of by my colleagues?"

        "I'd have to start wondering if the entire world has gone crazy and I'm the only sane one left." David laughed again and Pacey studied him for a minute. "So how exactly is this going to work?" He asked.

        "I'm going to ask you questions, and you're going to answer them to the best of your ability."

        "And then you're going to decide if I'm sane enough to go home?"

        "I'm going to make suggestions about what everyone can do to make this transition easier."

        "What if I just want to go home?" Pacey asked. "What if I just want to go home and eat dinner with my family and talk to my parents and argue with my siblings? What if I really don't want to talk to you?"

        "I can't make you talk to me Pacey, but I will tell you that I can help you....And I can help your family. You just have to let me."

        Pacey studied him carefully before taking a deep breath. "Where do we start?"

        David smiled reassuringly, but didn't let his relief show. His face took on a serious expression as he began to speak. "Why don't we start with the dreams. Gretchen said you were having nightmares."

        Pacey looked at the wall. "Well, if she told you about the dream, then she must have told you what it was about. I don't know that there's a whole lot more to say about that."

        "How did Meg come to join Sally Anderson's group?"

        Pacey sighed. "She was young. College age. Mama could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. Meg was disillusioned and Mama wanted her money. It didn't take her long to figure out that life with the militants wasn't going to be the illuminating thing she thought it would be." Pacey's face took on an incredibly vulnerable look and David could almost see the child that he had been back then. "She...She used to sneak me snacks. She'd talk to me about her childhood, her parents, her friends. I'd tell her about Capeside. One night she snuck me out of the compound. She was going to bring me home." Pacey's expression changed from one of sadness to one of anger. "She should have known better! What the hell was she thinking? She should have known that Mama always wins in the end. There's no escaping the witch."

        "You escaped from her," David said softly. "You beat her."

        Pacey laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. "No I didn't. And I never will. She won this thing a long time ago, long before most people even knew they were in the game. Don't you see? There won't be a moment in my life that won't be tainted by her. She'll always have the last laugh, because she'll always control me. Everything I do in my life will be a reaction to what happened, what she did. Whether I'm running away from it, or fighting it, she'll always be there. Right there. It doesn't matter that she lost this last battle, 'cause she still won the war."

        "Do you really believe that Pacey?"

        "I know that Dr. Alexander. I know because that warm beautiful summer night she killed one of the most beautiful human beings in the world...And part of me died right along with her. The part of me that could believe in goodness. The part that believed in happy endings and love and friendship. And I don't think I can get that back... and that means that she won, because what's life without love? Without a basic belief in the goodness of mankind? I'll tell you what it's like. It's like death, so what's the difference?"

        "The difference is that you're not with her anymore. You're with people who love you. People who want to help you, not hurt you."

        Pacey rubbed his temples and sighed. "Don't take everything I say overly seriously, okay? Half the time I don't even know what I'm saying."

        David nodded, looking at Pacey carefully, noticing just how much stress the boy was feeling. "You look tired. Why don't I come back later and we can talk some more."

        Pacey nodded. He watched as David went to go. "Hey Doc.?"

        "Yes Pacey?" David said.

        "It's not that I don't believe in love. I do. I love my family, my friends and I know that they love me. I just don't think that love can save you. I don't believe that it can make everything okay again."

        David nodded softly. "I understand Pacey. I do understand where that's coming from and I hope...I hope that you can come to see that love doesn't have to save you in order to help you. That you'll see that it can make things better. Think about that."

        Pacey nodded again and watched the doctor leave the room. "Well I guess I'm not going home tonight," he said wryly, flopping back against his pillows and trying to relax.

*~*Hallway*~*

        David left Pacey's room and was soon surrounded by a group of people. He let out a silent sigh and then looked around at the hopeful faces, trying to figure out what he should say. "Okay, good news, he talked to me."

        "And the bad news?" Mr. Witter asked.

        "Nothing that isn't to be expected," David said. "Mood swings. Anger, hatred, depression. He's alternatively vulnerable and blocked off. He's angry at himself, at the world, at her. You're going to need to be patient with him."

        "What about bringing him home?" Mrs. Witter asked. She wanted her baby back under her roof again. It had been so long since she had felt his presence in their home. She needed to feel that again.

        "I think that he needs to go home soon. Maybe tomorrow or the next day. He needs to feel connected to you and his home again. He needs to feel like he's at home. Like he's wanted. That's hard in a hospital."

        The Witter's nodded. "We'll get everything ready," Mr. Witter said. He looked at Pacey's door. "Do you think...?"

        "I think that he needs a few minutes," David said. "But you can go in soon." Mr. Witter nodded. "In the meantime, why don't we all get some lunch and talk some more. There are a lot of things that we need to discuss." Mr. Witter nodded again. David looked around before turning to Paul. "Joey?"

        "She had to go home, but she left her number for you."

        David nodded. "Let's go?" He said.

        The others nodded and followed him towards the cafeteria.

*~*Pacey's Room*~*

        Pacey sighed as he shifted in bed, trying to get comfortable. He was so damn tired of this place. He wanted to go outside. He wanted the hell out of this place is what he wanted.

        "The hell with waiting," He muttered. He was tired of being controlled. He was tired of only going places when other people let him. He wanted some control back. He looked down at his arm, wondering how much damage he would cause himself by pulling the IV out.

        "There's only one way to find out," he muttered, gritting his teeth and pulling the IV out in one swift, steady movement. He let out a sigh of pain, but it didn't hurt for long. "That wasn't so bad," he said. He got out of bed and made his way to the closet, careful to keep the hospital gown closed behind him. He opened the closet and cursed under his breath. Nothing. He didn't have clothes. "Great! Just great."

        Pacey walked over to the door and peeked out. The only person within sight in the hall was an orderly. "Psst! Buddy!" He hissed.

        "Yeah?" The guy asked.

        "Can you come in here a minute?"

        The guy shrugged and entered Pacey's room. "Whadya need?"

        "Clothes," Pacey said. "Any kind of clothes."

        "You're not supposed to leave the hospital. They told me."

        Pacey rolled his eyes. "I'm not planning a jailbreak," he said. "I just want to be able to walk down the hall without feeling a breeze up my butt, ya know what I'm saying?"

        The orderly laughed. "I understand where you're coming from, but I can't help you."

        "Come on buddy. I'll even settle from some of those nifty duds like you're wearing. Please?"

        The orderly considered for a minute. "All right. Give me a minute."

        "You're a prince among men, my man," Pacey said, clapping the guy on the shoulder. He watched him go and then thought for a minute. "Now what to do about shoes?"
       
*~*Potter B&B*~*

        Joey looked out the window at the swirling snow, enjoying the way it danced in the air. She always loved snowy days. There was just something so peaceful about them. She was about to turn away from the window when something caught her eye. Someone was sitting at the end of her dock and it took her only a moment to figure out who.

        "Bessie, I'll be right back!" She called hurrying to the closet and pulling on her coat, hat and gloves. She then grabbed a spare blanket and hurried out into the cold.

        "Jo?" Bessie called. "Where are you going?" Her only answer was the slam of the door. She went over to the window and looked out and smiled softly as she watched her sister approach the hunched figure on the end of the dock. It had been years since she had seen Pacey, but she could tell even from this distance that it was him. Who else would it be?

        "Nifty P.J.’s, Pace." Joey said, throwing the blanket over Pacey's shoulders. "What're you doing sitting out here in the cold in only hospital scrubs?"

        "Thinking," Pacey said with a slight smile as he looked up at her. "Trying to work up the courage to knock on your door."

        "You don't need courage to do that," Joey chided, sitting down beside him. She grabbed one of his cold hands and rubbed it between her gloves, trying to warm him. "I always want to see you, and Bessie's been wanting to see you since you got home. She just didn't want to intrude."

        "Oh," Pacey said softly. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She was so beautiful, especially now, with the cold air bringing a flush to her cheeks and snowflakes dancing around her. "My mistake then."

        His voice was so small, uncertain. She felt drawn to him. She wanted desperately to make everything right for him. "So, they finally sprung you from the hospital, huh?" Knowing all the time that the hospital scrubs told a whole other story, but not wanting to accuse him of anything. "That talk with Dr. Alexander must have gone well. Bet it feels nice to be home." Pacey looked slightly guilty. "Pace?" Joey questioned, noticing the look at once.

        "Well, they didn't exactly release me..." Pacey said reluctantly. "I just couldn't stay cooped up anymore."

        "So you decided to release yourself without telling anyone," Joey stated. Pacey nodded. "Did you at least leave a note?"

        A stricken look crossed Pacey's face. "No...I didn't even think...Do you think...Do you think they'll..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Do you think they'll be mad."

        Joey's heart broke at the slight whisper of fear that was almost, but not quite hidden in his tone. "No," she said softly. "They'll be scared out of their minds, but they won't be mad. Why don't we go inside and call them now, Okay?"

        Pacey nodded. "Okay."

        Joey got to her feet and held her hand out to him. He stood and took it, comforted by her presence. She smiled reassuringly at him and led him towards the house. "I was just about to go get your Whopper when I saw you out here, but, you're in luck. Bodie is cooking tonight, so you can safely stay and eat with us."

        "Are you sure?" Pacey asked uncertainly. "I mean, I don't want to be a bother."

        "No bother," Joey said. "I told you. Bessie's looking forward to seeing you again. Besides," she said, bumping him with her shoulder. "I want you to stay and it just so happens that I have pull with the owners of this joint."

        "That so?" Pacey said with a smile.

        "Yup."

        "Then by all means," Pacey said with a bow. "I would be delighted to stay for dinner."

        Joey laughed and led him into the house. Pacey smiled. It felt nice to be with her. She made him feel safe, like things were going to be okay. He treasured that feeling. It was something that he hadn't felt in a very long time.


EviePJlvr 
Founder of Operation True Love! Pacey & Joey Die Hard, Joshua Jackson Bad Ass Chick.
Posts: 181
(3/28/03 9:50 am)
Reply

Re: Chapter Six: Running
This is so very well written. It really is amazing, hon. I'm so pleased that you're posting it over hear for all of us! Especially since there are obviously a couple of newbies that haven't had the pleasure to read this before.

Sigh, excellent job. If you have any fan art, post it up over there if you get a chance. Good luck on your exams.



Reading is good. Writing is even better.

SnoozyC
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 39
(3/28/03 11:54 am)
Reply

Awwwwwww
I loved that one! Hell, I love all of 'em! I was beginning to have withdrawal symptoms when you hadn't been here for a few days, so I'm delighted you're back with this one now :D

I'm glad he started to confide in his shrink.... if only cautiously - it can only be a good thing I think :D

And I love the Joey/Pacey dynamic that you've written here. I do hope he doesn't put her on too much of a pedestal though - because she can't 'save' him.... he needs to save himself (with everyone's help of course!)

Loving it! :D

leep4joy
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 35
(3/28/03 9:31 pm)
Reply

Re: Awwwwwww
This was such a good update. I'm so excited that Pacey is talking to his therapist. My heart almost broke as your described him when Joey went out to talk with him on the dock. :( I'm glad that he's so comfortable with Joey, but he needs to learn that she can't save him from his past. Please update again soon!!

~Lee :D

PJfanLizzy
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 21
(3/30/03 5:30 pm)
Reply

:)
This is so heartbreaking and beautiful. I'm enjoying reading it very much. Please post more of it soon :)

LadyHaHa
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 33
(3/30/03 10:48 pm)
Reply

Excellent Fic
I'm glad Joey makes him feel so safe. He really needs that. I have a feeling this is going to be one of my favorites. *sigh* Brilliant job, with this!

Donna

Angel608J
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 35
(4/5/03 7:17 pm)
Reply

Re: Excellent Fic
*comes in late again*

How horrible for Pacey to have witnessed that! I just want to wrap him in my arms and comfort him myself. ;) :lol

The way you write Joey and Pacey is absolutely brilliant. Their relationship, the way you protray it, is astounding, and you leave me wanting more all the damn time. Hell, and I've even read this before. :lol

When will you be posting more? :b

Perfection, as always.

Angel

Snowie5879
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 14
(4/10/03 6:34 am)
Reply

Re: Bent (Updated 3-28-03)
Sorry that it's been so long everyone, but I've been having crazy exams and projects and confrences and banquets and finals are coming up... And I'm kinda stressed... lol! But I wanted to throw this out there for you! I hope you like it!

Thank you for all of the replies! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! Have a great day!

Snowie:)

Chapter Seven:
*~*Beginnings*~*

        A week had passed since Pacey had ‘checked’ himself out of the hospital. Things were tense at home, but everyone was beginning to settle into a pattern. Life was achieving a rhythm. Pacey spent an hour every day talking with David. They had yet to discuss anything meaningful. David could sense that Pacey was still working towards trusting him.

        Other than that hour, Pacey spent a lot of time with Gretchen and Joey, avoiding most others except for a few moments of weakness. He had met Jen, Andie and Jack and he liked them, but he knew that they weren’t quite sure what to say to him. It was hard to meet people when they already knew everything about you.

        Right now he was standing on the porch of the B&B waiting for Joey. Patience had never been his strong point though, so he was soon fidgeting. “Josephine, Josephine. Wherefore art thou, Josephine?” He called, rather loudly.

        “You do know that wherefore means why, don’t you Pace?” Joey asked, exiting the B&B with a grin on her face.

        “But of course,” Pacey said with a bow. “I was merely asking why you are Josephine because... I know how much you hate your full name.” Joey gave him a look and Pacey sighed. “All right, so I was misquoting....but with full knowledge of that fact.”

        “You know, Shakespeare shouldn’t be taken lightly Pace,” Joey said, struggling to keep a straight face. “He was a great man.”

        Pacey placed the back of his hand on his forehead dramatically. “Oh woe is me, I knowingly misquoted Shakespeare. Shoot me now. I don’t deserve to live.”

        “Idiot,” Joey said, unable to hold back her laughter.

        “I aim to please,” Pacey said with a slight bow. “Want to go get a slushie?”

        “It’s the middle of the winter Pacey. It’s too cold for slushies.”

        Pacey gasped. “Bite your tongue Josephine! Slushies are for all seasons. Besides, I haven’t had one in about six years. I think I’m allowed to break the rules.”

        “Well in that case,” Joey said, taking his arm. “Let’s go.”

        “C’mon,” Pacey said, pulling her towards the driveway. “I have the deathtrap.”

        “Your parents are letting you drive even without a license?” Joey asked in surprise.

        “Letting is such a strong word,” Pacey said with a cocky grin. “It implies that they have some knowledge of the fact that I’ve absconded with their vehicle. It’s more like, what they don’t know can’t hurt me.”

        Joey laughed as she let herself be pulled to the beat-up old truck. “I guess that’s as good a motto as any.”

        “You know it,” Pacey said opening the door for her. Once she was settled into her seat he slammed the door behind her and went around to the other side of the truck. He climbed into the drivers seat and started the truck.

        “So what have you been up to today?” Joey asked as they pulled out of the driveway.

        “Oh, this and that,” Pacey said in an offhand manner.

        “Meaning?”

        “Meaning I went to therapy. Meaning I sat and had a serious yet pointless discussion with my parents. Meaning I did my darnedest to start a fight with Dougie and he just wouldn’t cooperate. You know, if anything, he’s grown even more boring while I was away. He used to at least argue with me.”

        Joey laughed. “I’ll argue with you Pace.”

        Pacey grinned. “I know you will Josephine. Why do you think I hang out with you so much?”

        “And here I was thinking that it was my movie star beauty,” Joey said, her tone suggesting that she didn’t think her beauty was anywhere near movie star levels.

        “Well, that goes without saying,” Pacey said with a wink.

        Joey just stuck her tongue out at him before changing the subject. “So how are things going with David? Do you like him?”

        Pacey looked thoughtful for a minute, barely noticing as a song came on the radio.

                Show me the meaning of being lonely
                So many words for the broken heart
                It's hard to see in a crimson love
                So hard to breathe
                Walk with me, and maybe
                Nights of light so soon become
                Wild and free I could feel the sun
                Your every wish will be done
               
                They tell me...
               
        “I do like him,” Pacey said. “But I just....I don’t know if we’re getting anywhere. He asks me questions that I just don’t know how to answer.”

        “Like what?” Joey asked softly.

        “Like if I’m happy to be home.”

                Show me the meaning of being lonely
                Is this the feeling I need to walk with
                Tell me why I can't be there where you are
                There's something missing in my heart

        “You don’t know if you’re happy to be home?” Joey asked, trying to keep the surprise and hurt out of her voice.

        “That’s not what I meant,” Pacey said. “I am happy to be home. Really. I just... Things are so different and at the same time unchanged. Sometimes being here hurts.”

        “What do you mean?” Joey asked gently.

                Life goes on as it never ends
                Eyes of stone observe the trends
                They never say forever gaze
                Guilty roads to an endless love
                There's no control
                Are you with me now
                Your every wish will be done
                They tell me

        Pacey stared straight ahead for a minute before beginning to speak softly. "Some things...they destroy everything. I look around and I can see...I can feel the way things should have been. And that's hard...because I know that even if that other life, the one I was supposed to have...even if it wasn't completely happy...I feel like... like at least I could have looked at the world and felt some hope...Some happiness... but because of what happened I don't. I can't. I look at the world and all I see is pain and anger and hatred. I can't believe in happily ever after anymore, Joey. Not when I don't even believe in tomorrow."

                Show me the meaning of being lonely
                Is this the feeling I need to walk with
                Tell me why I can't be there where you are
                There's something missing in my heart

        Joey bit her lip as her eyes filled with tears. She wanted so much to be able to say something to take away the pain that she could hear in his voice. That she could see written clearly on his face.

        “If...If it helps at all Pace,” she said softly. “I...I’m really glad that you’re home... and I’m going to do everything I can... Anything I can think of... to help you believe in tomorrow again.”

                There's nowhere to run
                I have no place to go
                Surrender my heart' body and soul
                How can it be you're asking me to feel the
                things you never show

        Pacey smiled softly at her. “Thank you Joey,” he said, his voice husky. “I...I really appreciate that.”

        “No problem,” Joey said.

                You are missing in my heart
                Tell me why I can't be there where you are

                Show me the meaning of being lonely
                Is this the feeling I need to walk with
                Tell me why I can't be there where you are
                There's something missing in my heart

        They drove in silence for a moment before the song on the radio pierced Pacey’s consciousness. "What the hell is this shit anyway?" He asked, his voice disgusted.

        "Backstreet boys," Joey said with a laugh.

        "What the hell?" Pacey asked, feeling distinctly behind when it came to music...And as of that moment, glad that he was.

        "Boy band,” Joey said.

        "Didn't anyone learn anything from New Kids on the Block?" Pacey asked in disbelief. Joey laughed again as Pacey hit the button to change the station. "Much better," Pacey said as Matchbox Twenty began to play. They sat in silence for the rest of the trip to town, just listening to the radio.

                If I fall along the way
                pick me up and dust me off.
                and if I get too tired to make it
                be my breath so I can walk
               
                If I need some other love
                give me more than I can stand
                and when my smile gets old and faded
                wait around I'll smile again

                shouldn't be so complicated
                just hold me and then
                just hold me again
               
                can you help me I'm bent
                I'm so scared that I'll never
                get put back together
                you're breaking me in
                and this is how we will end
                with you and me bent

                If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
                could you paint me better off
                could you sympathize with my needs
                I know you think I need a lot
               
                I started out clean but I'm jaded
                just phoning it in
                just breaking the skin

                start bending me
                It's never enough
                I feel all your pieces
                start bending me
                Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in

                shouldn't be so complicated
                just touch me and then
                just touch me again

*~*LEERY’S FRESH FISH*~*

        “Hey Dawson,” Jen said, dropping into the chair next to her friend. “What’s up?”

        “Not much,” Dawson said with a sigh.

        “Something got you down?” Jack asked, sitting down next to Jen.

        Dawson sighed again. “It’s just... My best friend is finally back after six years...and I don’t even know how to talk to him. What to say. It comes so easily for Joey. They just clicked again. I... I feel like I’ve lost that connection.”

        Jen looked at Dawson sadly. “I’m sure it’ll get better Dawson. You just need to give him time to get used to being home. You have to put yourself in his shoes. Life went on here without him. That must be hard to come to grips with.”

        “But why Joey? Why not me?”

        “Dawson...”

        Dawson sighed and then smiled. “Not to worry. I feel better now that I got that whining off my chest.”

        Jack and Jen laughed. “Hey, where’s Andie anyway?” Jack asked.

        “Right here,” Andie said, dropping into the seat next to Dawson. “What’s up?”

        “Dawson’s got the blues,” Jen said.

        “Ah,” Andie said. “That I know. And I’m guessing that the reason why is coming in that door.” The four of them looked up as Joey and Pacey entered the restaurant.

        “I can’t believe that not a single place in Capeside sells slushie’s in the winter,” Pacey said.

        “I hate to say I told you so...” Joey said with a smirk. “But I told you so.”

        “Ha ha,” Pacey said. “So, oh so intelligent one, is a milkshake an option?”

        “Best ones in town,” Dawson said. “Want to join us?”

        Pacey looked uncertainly from the table to Joey. Joey smiled reassuringly at him and he nodded. “Yeah, we’d like that,” he said softly. Joey took his hand as they approached the table and squeezed it gently. He smiled softly at her before pulling out her chair. She sat down and then he sat next to her. “So, how are you guys doing?” He asked.

        “Okay,” Dawson said. “You?”

        “Fine,” Pacey said. There was a tense silence.

        “So,” Jen said. “What are you two up to today?”

        “Well, I was going to buy Joey a slushie,” Pacey said. “But this town is totally devoid of class and doesn’t have a single place where you can buy a slushie. I must say that I’m shocked at this obvious detriment to life in Capeside. What about you?”

        “Oh, shocked,” Joey said rolling her eyes. “What about you guys? What’s going on?”

        “Not much,” Jen said.

        “Actually Jo,” Andie said, looking at Joey meaningfully. “Can Jack, Jen and I talk to you about something...in private?”

        “Sure,” Joey said slowly. She got to her feet, pausing to squeeze Pacey’s hand reassuringly.

        “That was subtle,” Dawson said with a short laugh.

        “What do you mean?” Pacey said, looking puzzled.

        “Andie just knows that I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” Dawson said sheepishly. He tensed at the wary look on Pacey’s face. “I...I don’t mean to back you into a corner. I just wanted to talk to my best friend.”

        The wary look grew into something akin to anger. “Dawson...” Pacey started.

        A pained looked crossed Dawson’s face. “I don’t understand this, Pace. Why do you feel so uncomfortable around me? Why...Why do you look at me like you’re angry with me?”

        "Geez Dawson!” Pacey exclaimed. “I don’t know!” He rubbed his forehead in frustration. “You act like you still know me...Like I'm still the kid I was six years ago. The sidekick to your hero. Well let me tell you something D. That kid is dead. You can't bring him back. I can't bring him back. He died six years ago, brutally, painfully, completely. So please, stop talking to me like you have any idea who the hell I am, 'cause you don't have the first damn clue!"

        "Then why don't you tell me?" Dawson said. "I want to help you Pacey. I want to be your friend. I missed you."

        Pacey closed his eyes. "You don't want to know about my demons Dawson... Frankly, I don't know that you could handle them. I certainly can't."

        "Pacey..."

        "You can't help me Dawson....I'm beginning to think that nothing can."

        "Pacey..." Dawson said, trying again.

        "Don't be so naive as to think that this story is going to have a 'happily ever after' kind of ending Dawson. There's no such thing."

        “I...”

        “I gotta go,” Pacey said, jumping to his feet. He headed towards the door, but paused a few feet from the door and turned to Dawson. “I missed you too D,” he said softly. And then he was gone.

        “Pace!?” Joey called, hurrying back to the table. She looked at Dawson questioningly. All he could do was shake his head, and motion that she should go after Pacey, which she did.

        Jen, Jack and Andie returned to the table and sat down with Dawson, watching as he buried his face in his hands. Andie placed her hand on his arm and he looked up at them, his face tormented. “He’s in so much pain. I didn’t realize....”

        “What did he say?” Jen asked softly.

        “He said...he said that the boy I remember, my best friend, died six years ago, brutally, painfully, completely....And I’m scared to death that he’s right.”

SnoozyC
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 49
(4/10/03 11:44 am)
Reply

Re: Bent (Updated 3-28-03)
I read this earlier and almost forgot to come in and reply :eek *Naughty Suzy*

Anywho, I loved it of course. I loved the banter and all the emotions hiding behind the joking between those two :)

Is it bad of me to say that I'm glad Pacey is increasingly pushing Dawson away? Hee!

Loving this :D

Snowie5879
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 15
(4/17/03 8:19 am)
Reply

Re: Chapter Eight
Hey everyone!

Sorry that these are being posted so slowly. Things are just really hectic right now! I'll try and get them posted more quickly from now on!

And Suzy...
Quote:
Is it bad of me to say that I'm glad Pacey is increasingly pushing Dawson away? Hee!

Not at all!! ;)

Enjoy!

Snowie :rollin

Chapter Eight:
*~*Small Steps*~*

        Joey hurried after Pacey, wondering where he was headed...and wondering exactly what had happened between Dawson and Pacey. She saw him enter the park and slowed as she saw him sit down on a bench. He looked so lost and alone, and Joey felt a pain in her heart so sudden and intense that it scared her. She would do anything to help him. Anything to lessen the pain that he was feeling...Anything to make him smile.

        She was falling in love with Pacey Witter...Or was it more than that? She watched him as he watched the kids playing in the snow and made a quick decision. Whatever her feelings were, that didn’t matter. He wasn’t ready for anything more than what they were...And neither was she. Joey took a deep breath and pushed those feelings, whatever they might be, to the back of her mind. There were more important things to think about right now....Like how to wipe that solemn look off his face and get him laughing again.

        Joey saw a smile cross Pacey’s face as a little boy threw a snowball at a little girl and a memory returned to her. A mischievous smile crossed her face and she began to sneak up on Pacey.

        Pacey sat down on a bench at the park. it had been a long time since he had been there. There was a coat of freshly fallen snow covering the hills and dips of the park. It was quickly being trampled by the footstep of small children...and not so small children.

        Pacey watched as a little boy chased a little girl, a snowball poised for flight in his hand. He smiled as the boy loosed the snowball at the girl and he was soon transported back in time.

        ”Pacey, don’t!” Joey screeched, running as fast as her legs could carry her. He was right behind her, with a snowball held ready and a mischievous grin on his face.

        “Not unless you say it,” he said, laughing. “C’mon Josephine! Say it!”

        “I’d rather die,” Joey screamed back over her shoulder.

        “Well, if you say so,” Pacey said, his smile widening.

        “What do you mean?” Joey said surprised, turning just in time to get a face full of snow. “Argh!!” She screamed in rage. “I’ll get you for that Witter!!”

        Pacey came back to the present as a snowball smacked into the back of his head. He turned to face his attacker, a surprised look on his face. His eyes were drawn to a beautiful brunette who was holding another snowball ready, but was having a hard time aiming through her giggles.
       
        “Why Josephine Potter!” Pacey exclaimed with a tsk. “I didn’t think that you were the type to shoot an unarmed man in the back. Whatever possessed you?”

        “The back of your head just made such a wonderful target,” Joey said with a teasing grin. “Besides, don’t think that I don’t remember the last time we had a snowball fight in this park! I still owed you!”

                Yeah
                The sun is shinin' everyday
                The clouds never get in the way for you and me
                I've known you just a week or two
                But baby I'm so into you
                Can hardly breathe

        Pacey laughed, and Joey felt her heart flutter in her chest. His smile made her knees weak and her chest tighten until it was hard to breath. “Well, I still think that it was a justified snowballing,” he said. Pacey bent down and grabbed a handful of snow, patting it hastily into the form of a ball. “You do know what that means, don’t you Josephine?”

        Joey laughed, starting to back away. “Don’t you dare Witter!”

        “I dare,” Pacey said, jumping over the bench with a laugh. Joey shrieked as she turned and ran.

                And I'm in so totally
                Wrapped up emotionally
                Attracted so physically
                Actin' so recklessly
                I need you so desperately
                Sure as the sky is blue
                Baby I love you
                I love you

        “You can’t escape me Potter!” Pacey exclaimed, hurling the snowball at her and hitting her square in the back. “I never miss remember?”

        “What an ego Witter!” Joey exclaimed over her shoulder. She shrieked again as another snowball hit her. She turned and threw the snowball that she had been holding onto and missed his head by a foot. “Damn!” She muttered. She stooped to gather some more snow as she was hit by yet another snowball. “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea,” she muttered under her breath.

                I never knew that I could feel like this
                Can hardly wait till our first kiss
                You’re so cool
                If I'm dreamin' please don't wake me up
                'Cause baby I can't get enough
                Of what you do
               
        Pacey laughed, still advancing. “Now, now, Josephine. You shouldn’t start things that you aren’t prepared to finish!”

        “Would you accept a truce?” Joey asked, still retreating.

        “Only if you say it,” Pacey said with a mischievous grin.

                And I'm in so electrically
                Charged up kinetically
                Actin' erratically
                Need you fanatically
                You get to me magically
                Sure as the sky is blue
                Baby I love you

        Joey glared at him. “I wouldn’t say it when I was ten and I certainly won’t say it now.”

        “C’mon Joey,” Pacey said, holding another snowball threateningly.

        Joey grinned. “I’d rather die,” she said with a wink.

        “If you say so,” Pacey said, tossing the snowball at her. She ducked and came up with a handful of snow which she threw in his general vicinity before taking off at a run, laughing. Pacey took off after her, a shout of laughter breaking from his throat. They ran through the park, bending over at random moments to grab handfuls of snow to toss at each other.

                I can't believe that this is real
                The way I feel
                Baby I'm gone head over heels

        Finally Pacey put on a burst of speed and caught Joey by the waist, throwing them both into the snow. They both burst into laughter as they struggled to disentangle. They finally managed to separate, and rolled over onto their backs, laughing breathlessly.

                And I'm in so totally
                Wrapped up emotionally
                Attracted so physically
                Actin' so recklessly
                I need you so desperately
                Sure as the sky is blue
       
        When their breathing had calmed, they turned their heads towards each other. Pacey reached out his hand and brushed a stray strand of hair out of Joey’s face. "I like being here with you, Jo," he said softly, his voice serious. "You make me happy to be alive."

        Joey reached out her hand and touched Pacey’s face gently. “You make me happy to be alive too, Pace,” she said softly.

                And I'm in so electrically
                Charged up kinetically
                Actin' erratically
                Need you fanatically
                You get to me magically
                Sure as the sky is blue
                Baby I love you
                Baby I love you
                Do you love me too
                Baby I love you

        They stared at each other silently for a moment, lost in each other’s gaze. They moved closer to each other unconsciously, not even realizing that it was happening until their faces were inches apart.

        It was a surprise to both of them when their lips first met, but at the same time it felt so right that neither pulled away. It was a cautious kiss, searching, but at the same time achingly tender.

        They pulled back slowly and Joey could see uncertainty spread across Pacey’s face. He scrambled quickly to his feet. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

        “Pace...” Joey said slowly, getting to her feet. “There’s...”

        “I’m sorry,” Pacey said again, looking down, his hands clenched tightly by his sides. “Can we just...I don’t think...”

        Joey reached out her hand and laid it gently on his arm so that he would look at her. When he did, he found that her eyes were shining with understanding. “It’s okay Pacey. I...I understand. You’re still getting used to being here. You feel pressure from every side. There is no pressure here, okay? We’ll...We’ll just forget about this for now, okay?”

        Pacey nodded slowly, a sigh of relief breaking from his throat. “Thank you Joey.” The friendship that he had with Joey meant so much to him. He didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. The kiss...It was dangerous. There was nothing in the world that he wanted more than he wanted to kiss her again... And nothing in the world that he needed more than her friendship.

        “I’m going to be here for you no matter what,” Joey said. “Remember that.”

        Pacey smiled. “C’mon. I’ll take you home.”

        “Okay,” Joey said, smiling slightly. She held out her hand and Pacey only hesitated for a second before taking it. They smiled at each other and then walked out of the park, their minds alive with feelings that they weren’t ready for.

*~*Next Day*~*
*~*David’s Office*~*

        “Hey Dr. D!” Pacey said, entering David’s office and flopping down on the couch. “How’s it hanging?”

        “Um, well,” David said, unable to keep a smile from crossing his face. “And you?”

        “Not bad,” Pacey said with a shrug.

        “Do anything interesting yesterday?”

        Pacey shrugged. “Snowball fight with Joey.”

        “Really? Who won?”

        “Moi, of course,” Pacey said with a cocky grin.

        “Ah,” David said. “So what happened after the snowball fight.” He became more attentive as Pacey’s expression changed.

        “Nothing,” Pacey said, his expression dark.

        “Really?” David said. “Are you sure that you don’t want to talk about this nothing?”

        “Naw,” Pacey said, shaking his head. “Let’s move on.”

        “Sure,” David said. “What do you want to talk about?” Pacey shrugged. “How’s everything going with your parents?”

        Pacey’s expression became even more dark and he shrugged again. “They’re trying,” he said softly.

        “And you?” David said. “Are you trying?”

        Pacey sighed. “I’m trying.”

        “Trying to try?”

        Pacey laughed shortly. “Yeah. Trying to try.”

        “What’s getting in your way Pacey?”

        Pacey was silent for a minute, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Six years,” he said softly. “Six years with a manipulative, psycho bitch. That’s what’s getting in my way.”

        “How is she getting in your way? Things she did? Things she said?”

        “Both,” Pacey said slowly. “There are so many things, I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

        “Why don’t you start with whatever comes to your mind first. What is the thing she did or told you that sticks out the most in your mind?”

        “She...” Pacey stopped his face uncertain. His voice dropped. “She...she told me lots of things. Things to make me distrust my parents...She...she tried to make me think that my parents didn’t want me anymore.”

        There was something so young about Pacey’s voice that David felt again the pain of what the boy had been through.

        “She told me that they could have gotten me back if they truly wanted. That she offered...and they said to keep me.”

        “What!?” David exclaimed before he could stop himself. He inwardly cursed himself as a look of uncertainty crossed Pacey’s face and the walls started to go up again.

        “Look, I don’t know,” Pacey said. “I...I tried not to believe anything that Mama told me...but after a while....those truths were hard to hold onto. Do you understand?”

        “Explain it to me,” David said.

        Pacey sighed. “I knew that my parents loved me. They may not have said it often...but I knew. I tried so hard to hold onto that, no matter what she said. She told me that if my parents had truly wanted me back they would have paid a ransom. That she offered but they told her to keep me...Even though it wasn’t true, it shook my grasp.”

        David could hear the uncertainty in Pacey voice and knew that it had done more than shake his grasp. It had left him questioning everything. As much as he wanted to believe in his parents, deep down he wasn’t sure if he could. He took a deep breath and decided to take a chance. “Pacey, you might know all this already, but bear with me okay? I just want to make sure that everything is clear.” Pacey nodded. “Soon after your kidnapping, your parents received a call from Mama Sal, though they didn’t know it was her at the time. They were told that you had been taken to hurt your father. For revenge against him for something that he had done. There was no offer for ransom, only a promise that when she was done you would hate your father as much as she did. That was her goal, Pacey. To make you doubt. To make you hate. To hurt your father.”

        Pacey looked down as if absorbing that information. Trying to accept it. Trying to believe it.

        “It’s okay if you don’t believe that right away Pacey. No one’s expecting you to rebound like nothing ever happened. I can’t even begin to imagine what was done to you during those years, but I do know that it was painful. No one expects you to ignore that pain. We just want to help you work through it.” Pacey nodded again. David looked at him for a moment and then looked down at his watch. “Your time’s just about up. Do you want to leave early?”

        Pacey nodded, getting to his feet. “See you tomorrow, Doc,” he said softly.

        “Bye Pacey,” David said. He watched Pacey go and then picked up the phone. It was time to have a family session. Pacey needed to talk this out with his parents. David could reassure him until he was blue in the face, but Pacey wouldn’t believe it until he heard it from his parents.

*~*OUTSIDE*~*

        “Hey Witter!” Joey called.

        Pacey turned, a smile lighting his face at the sight of her. “Hey Jo. What’re you doing?”

        “Had to run some errands for the B&B,” Joey said holding up some shopping bags. “Want to walk me home?”

        “I’d love to,” Pacey said. “Here, let me,” he said, taking the bags for her.

        “You don’t have to...” Joey started, but stopped as he gave her a look.

        “Hey, I’m doing the gentlemanly thing here. Let me work my magic.”

        Joey laughed. “Work on,” she said. “So what were you doing here?” She asked.

        Pacey’s face darkened. “Therapy,” he said softly.

        “Oh,” Joey said. They walked in silence for a few minutes. “Did it help?”

        Pacey sighed. “Honestly? I don’t know. He asks me things, I talk, but...I just don’t know if we get anywhere. I always feel like I end up right back where I started...”

        “And where’s that?” Joey asked.

        “A dark, dank hole in the ground,” Pacey said softly, his eyes taking on a faraway look. “With no hope, no peace... no life.”
       
        “Pacey...” Joey started.

        “A little depressing, huh?” Pacey said. “Sorry to be such a downer...”

        “That isn’t what I was going to say,” Joey said softly. “I want you to talk to me...if you want to. I just don’t always know what to say...”

        “You don’t have to say anything,” Pacey said. “Just listening is enough.” They walked silently for a while longer. It wasn’t long before they were walking up the steps to Joey’s house. They carried the stuff into the house and then went back outside, sitting down on the steps.

        They sat quietly for a moment before Pacey spoke. “You’re worried about me aren’t you?” He said softly. “About what I said?”

        Joey sighed. “I...It just sounds like you’re giving up on life, and that...that scares me Pacey. I...I get scared thinking about what you might do.”

        “What? You’re worried that I’m going to kill myself, Jo? Is that it?”

        “No,” Joey said quickly. “It’s just....” She sighed, deciding to be truthful. “Sometimes.”

        Pacey got to his feet. “Pace,” Joey said, placing her hand on his arm as she followed him to a standing position.
       
        “No,” Pacey said softly, his face carefully held neutral.

        “Pace,” Joey said, her voice desperate.

        "No," Pacey said, shaking her hand off of his arm and moving away from her. He winked before climbing onto the railing of the porch.

        “What are you doing?” Joey asked, completely confused.

        "I'm gonna jump Jo,” Pacey said dramatically. “And there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

        Joey struggled to keep a straight face. This was too serious of a subject for him to be joking. "You're three feet off the ground Pacey."

        Pacey looked down. "I don't know, Jo. It looks like quite the drop to me. I could seriously stub my toe!"

        A snort of laughter broke from Joey. "Aha!" Pacey exclaimed. "The lady is amused!" He jumped back down to the landing and took Joey's hand in his. He waited for her to look at him and then said earnestly, "Don't worry so much Potter. Yes I have a lot of shit to work through. And yes sometimes I get depressed. But I would never kill myself. I have too much to live for."

        A lopsided smile spread across Joey’s face. “That’s right, you do.”

        Pacey smiled at her. "I know you want to save me Jo, but you can't. Only I can do that. All you can do is make me want to save myself, and you do."
       
        Joey grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m glad Pace.”

        Pacey smiled at her. “You know what? I’ve been thinking...”

        “Whoa, alert the media!” Joey joked.

        “Smart ass,” Pacey said, elbowing her in the side. “As I was saying, I was thinking that maybe.....” His voice became uncertain and he looked down. “Do...Do you think that Dawson would be up for a movie night?”
       
        A slow smile spread across Joey’s face. “I think he’d love that.”

        “Yeah?” Pacey said, his voice hopeful.

        “Yeah,” Joey said. “Let me call him.”

        “Okay,” Pacey said. He watched as she went into the house to call Dawson and then turned and looked out at the creek. No matter what he had said to Dawson and the others, he missed his friendship with Dawson a lot. So much so that it scared him to try and get it back. What if it just wasn’t possible?

        Pacey smiled as Joey rejoined him. At least he had Joey. And for the moment, that was all that mattered.


Learning the truth is only the first step towards solving the Mystery…
Deadly Secrets

Joey missed her chance, but Andie has learned the importance of seizing the moment. Will Joey be able to win Pacey back?
Carpe Diem
Angel608J
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 38
(4/17/03 8:53 pm)
Reply

Re: Chapter Eight
*sighs*

Have I mentioned yet just how much I love this story? :b

More soon please! :D

SnoozyC
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 53
(4/18/03 1:37 am)
Reply

Awww!
That was lovely - the kiss, the talking, the joking, the snowball fight.... I'm glad they're being so mature about the whole thing. They obviously both know they share feelings for one another but I'm happy they know that it's not the right time to act on them :D

Movie night at Dawson's huh? Can't wait!

Snowie5879
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 16
(4/21/03 6:38 am)
Reply

Chapter Nine: Movie Night
Here's chapter Nine! Thanks for the replies Angel and Suzy! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Snowie:)

Chapter Nine:
*~*Movie Night*~*

        Pacey followed uncertainly as Joey ran up the steps to the Leery house. He paused at the edge of the porch and looked around, the past hitting him hard.

        “You coming Pace?” Joey asked, pausing at the door and turning to look at him

        “Yeah,” Pacey said. “I just...” He stopped.

        Joey smiled reassuringly and walked over to him. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “You can do this Pace,” she said softly.

        Pacey smiled softly at her. “I can do this,” he said softly.

        They walked forward, still holding hands. Joey opened the door and stepped through, pulling Pacey along with her.

        She found Mitch and Gail standing in the hallway waiting for them. “Hi,” she said softly.

        “Hi Joey,” they said, smiling at her. They watched as Pacey followed her in tentatively, his hand clasped firmly in hers as if it were the only thing keeping him from bolting. Mitch and Gail looked at each other, their faces sharing similar emotions. They could remember when Pacey had treated their home like it was his own. When no knock was needed. No invitation. Now he faced them with a look of almost fear on his face.

        “Hi Pacey,” Mitch said, smiling at the boy.

        “Hey,” Pacey said, not quite looking him in the eyes.

        Gail stepped forward. “It’s so good to see you again,” she said softly. “And I was wondering something.” She paused and waited for Pacey to look at her. When he did she continued. “Would it be too much to ask...For a hug?”

        Pacey looked uncertain for a minute and then shrugged, nodding slightly. Gail stepped forward and gave him a hug. “We missed you a lot, Pacey,” she said softly. “Welcome home.”

        “Thanks,” Pacey said softly, hugging her back uncertainly.

        “Are they upstairs?” Joey asked, knowing that Pacey was feeling more uncomfortable by the minute.

        “Yeah,” Mitch said. “Go ahead up.”

        “Thanks,” Joey said, starting up the stairs.

        “See you later Mr. Leery, Mrs. Leery,” Pacey said softly before following Joey up the stairs.

        Joey looked back over her shoulder and smiled at him reassuringly. Mitch and Gail watched until they had disappeared up the stairs.

        “The future I never thought would be might come to pass after all,” Gail said softly.

        “What’s that?” Mitch asked.

        “Pacey and Joey,” Gail said. “I always thought that when the two grew up they’d come to love each other. They seemed so well matched. And then...”

        “Then he disappeared,” Mitch said.

        “It was over before it even had a chance to begin,” Gail said softly. “And that made me sad, because I saw the way that he looked at her even then. She’s like a daughter to me, and I knew that he would treat her well...”

        “And here I was thinking that you were still holding out hope that Dawson and Joey would end up together.”

        “They tried that. They’re just too much like brother and sister. Pacey on the other hand... I knew that they would be good together. And look at them. She makes him feel safe, and he makes her happy. It’s definitely a step in the right direction.”

*~*UPSTAIRS*~*

        Pacey and Joey stood outside Dawson’s door for a moment before Joey reached out and knocked.

        “You knock now?” Pacey asked, still a little surprised that they hadn’t climbed the ladder.

        Joey cleared her throat. “Well after a few rather embarrassing interruptions,” Joey cleared her throat again. “Walking in on Dawson and Andie, I decided that it would be better this way.”

        Pacey let out a snort of laughter as Dawson opened the door. “C’mon in you guys,” Dawson said, waving them in. Andie, Jen and Jack were already there and they all looked up as Pacey and Joey entered.

        Pacey decided that it was time to take the bull by the horns. “Hey everybody,” he said, forcing a relaxed grin onto his face. They didn’t need to know that this was scaring him to death.

        “Hey,” the group said, smiling back at him.

        “So what’s up for movie night?” Joey asked.

        “Um, we were thinking Spielburg...Or well, whatever. You guys pick.”

        Joey looked at Pacey, who was looking at her uncertainly. “Sure,” she said, pulling him over to Dawson’s movie collection.

        Pacey stared at the titles. Some so familiar. Some completely unknown to him. His finger traced lightly over ET and he closed his eyes. He could see the three of them laying on Dawson’s bed, watching it for the fiftieth time. He wondered how many times they had watched it since... And a sharp pain shot to his heart.

        Pacey opened his eyes and continued scanning the titles. Jurassic Park. He could remember standing out in the rain for hours with Dawson so that they could be among the first to see it. They had gone to the theater three times to see it. Pacey smiled slightly even as his eyes filled with tears.

        “Pace?” Joey asked softly.

        “Wha...?” Pacey asked. He blinked back the tears. “Oh.” He reached randomly into the collection and pulled out a movie. “What about this one?”

        “Men In Black?” Dawson asked.

        “Yeah. Any good?”

        “Sure,” Dawson said. “Guys?”

        “Fine,” Andie said with a smile. The others nodded.

        Dawson took it out of the box and finding that it wasn’t rewound, slipped it into the VCR and hit rewind. There were a few moments of silence. “So, Pace,” Dawson said. “How’re you doing?”

        ‘It’s a simple conversation making question,’ Pacey told himself and he began to tense. ‘Relax!’ “Fine,” he said, smiling tightly.

        “Um, I don’t know if you’ll want to,” Dawson started. “But I was reading this article...” He picked up the paper that was sitting on his night stand and handed it to Pacey.

        “Construction to begin next week on phase three of Capewoods Condominiums...?” He looked at Dawson questioningly.

        “They're gonna bulldoze our woods, our fort,” Dawson said.

        Pacey’s eyes closed as memories hit him. “Oh,” he said softly.

        “And I just thought that maybe...Maybe you’d like to go camping out there with me...Before it’s gone.” Dawson looked at Pacey uncertainly.

        “Well,” Pacey said, his voice unsure. “I don’t...” He stopped, feeling dizzy as images from the past raced through his mind. Could he handle that? So many memories. So much pain. There was nothing that hurt him more than what used to be and what might have been...

        “Pace?” Joey asked, looking at him worriedly.

        “Excuse me. I don’t...” He stopped talking. He just turned towards the door and bolted.

        Dawson looked stricken. “I didn’t mean...”

        “It’s all right Dawson,” Joey said. “I’ll go after him. Maybe watch another movie for a little while, okay?”

        Dawson nodded and watched as Joey raced out of the room after Pacey.

        She caught sight of him after she reached the porch and hurried after him. “Pacey!?” She called, following him on his mad dash down the dock. She watched as he dropped to a sitting position at the end of the dock and quietly made her way to him. “Pace?” She questioned more quietly.

        “Go away,” Pacey said harshly.

        “What?” Joey questioned, hurt by his tone.

        “Please,” Pacey said, his voice breaking. “Please go away, Jo. I don’t...I don’t want you to see me like this.”

        “Like what?” Joey said, crouching beside him and placing her hand on his arm. “Upset? Sad? Hurt?... Angry? You have a right to be all of those things Pace. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

        “But I am!” Pacey exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He turned his back on her as he continued to speak. “I’m ashamed of the anger I feel whenever I think about what they did to me! I’m ashamed of the tears! And I hate the fact that I can’t have a simple conversation with the guy that was my best friend for what? Eleven Years?” He turned and faced Joey, his face tormented. “Do you know why Joey? Huh? Do you know why I can’t sit and talk to him without feeling this hurt? This anger?”

        “No,” Joey said softly.

        “I do,” Pacey said. “Do you want to know?”

        “Yes,” Joey said, watching him carefully. There was this out-of-control look in his eyes as he began pacing up and down the dock.

        “It goes back to that whole thing that we were talking about earlier. About how I wasn’t sure if I was happy to be home.” He stopped pacing and turned to look at her. “You know the real reason I’m not sure if I’m happy to be home? This is why. This feeling that I have right now...This... This separation. See, all that I wanted for so long was to come home. It’s all I hoped for...All I prayed for...It just never occurred to me until I got here that the home that I was wishing and praying for wouldn’t exist anymore. Everyone moved on without me... And I guess...I guess that I moved on without them too. I don’t fit anymore, Joey. The boy I was the was a part of this place as it used to be...But who I am now? What this place is now? We don’t match. Maybe we never will. That’s why I’m not sure if I’m happy to be home.”

        “Pacey, I’ve never truly felt at home here. Not in the town as a whole. But the people, that’s where you’ll find your home. Mine is Bessie and Bodie and Alexander. Dawson, Jen, Andie and Jack. And you Pacey. You’re part of my home now...In a way you always have been. Don’t take that away again.”

        Pacey looked at Joey, tears shining in his eyes. “I wish I could feel that with my family, Jo. I wish that so much! You’re the only one that I feel that with right now. The only one that I feel at home with. If it weren’t for you, I’d feel so alone.” Pacey looked down at his hands. “Don’t ever leave, Jo. I don’t think...”

        “Pacey,” Joey said softly.

        Pacey looked up at her. “I don’t think that I could survive if you ever left.”

        “I’m not going to leave, Pace,” Joey said simply. “Not unless you physically make me leave.”

        “Never happen,” Pacey said seriously. “You can kick my ass.”

        Joey laughed. “Just remember that and we’ll be fine.”

        “I could never forget,” Pacey said with a grin. They sat down on the dock side by side and leaned against each other. They gazed up at the stars silently for a while, enjoying the quiet beauty of the night.

        After a little while Joey turned to face Pacey. “So are you going to go with Dawson?” Joey asked softly. “I mean... He really wants to do this with you... And maybe... Maybe it’ll help you guys reconnect. That fort... It’s really the only thing in this town that belonged just to the two of you.”

        Pacey stared out at the water, a thoughtful look on his face. “I don’t know,” Pacey said softly. “I guess... I guess that I can handle that... If you think... If you think he’ll still want to?”

        “I’m sure he’ll still want to,” Joey said. A boyish grin spread across his face and Joey could help smiling back at him. She leaned against him again and he put his arm around her, hugging her to him.

        They sat silently for a minute before Joey sighed and spoke again. “I think that we should probably go back inside. Dawson’s probably worried.”

        Pacey sighed. “Yeah, I guess so.” They started walking back to the house. “Do you think I ruined movie night?” Pacey asked, his voice sad.

        Joey smiled at him and then winked. “Face it Pace. As long as we’ve known each other, you’ve always ruined movie night. Why try and stop the inevitable?”

        “Hey!” Pacey exclaimed, a smile spreading across his face as some of the tension left him. “I seem to remember not being the only one to ruin movie night. You’ve done it a few times yourself.”

        Joey shrugged. “Not as often as you.” She smiled and reached out her hand to him. He hesitated for a second before taking it gently in his.

        “Thanks Jo,” he said softly.

        “Anytime, Pace,” Joey said softly.

        They reentered the house and went back upstairs, entering the room slowly. The others looked up as they entered and Dawson hit stop on the remote, muting the TV. “I’m sorry, Pacey,” he said softly.

        “You didn’t do anything, really,” Pacey said softly. “And if you still want to... I’d like to go camping.”

        Dawson smiled. “Really?” He asked hopefully. “Tomorrow night?”

        “Sure,” Pacey said. He looked around uncomfortably “So, how about that movie?”

        Dawson nodded and put Men In Black back in the VCR. Pacey sat down by the bed uncertainly, his back stiff. Joey smiled at him and then hit the lights. She then sat in front of him and leaned back into his arms. Pacey smiled and felt himself relax. He leaned back against the bed and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. No matter how wrong things might seem, this would always be right.
SnoozyC
Loves Pacey and Joey
Posts: 55
(4/21/03 10:06 am)
Reply

Re: Chapter Nine: Movie Night
Hee! :D

They may not be ready for a relationship yet, but they're not doing a very good job of hiding their feelings! :D

Those two are too cute with each other - even Gail can see it... and I usually hate Gail :b :lol

Loving it - can't wait for more... I'm hoping Joey will join in on camping night ;) :D

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