~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"This wall isn't even half finished and already it's about the most intriguing stone wall I've had occasion to meet." www.alias-grace.com
Hardworking near-death scientist: Hopefully my creation is complete! Surely this robotic squirrel will bring us salvation by overthrowing the Muckfuck alien invaders! What say you, Jonah the Hopefully Functional Robotic Squirrel?
Jonah: Must ...
Hardworking just-about-dead scientist: Yes! Yes? Must do what?
Jonah: ... travel back in time and become mayor of Detroit!
*Muckfucks run amok*
Hardworking dead scientist: F*ck.
Jonah: GIMME NUTS, BITCH! *ass converts into time machine*
2001 - Primaries
Pastie in a double breasted suit: By unanimous vote, I present to you your new mayor of Michigan or whereever the f*ck it was, Jonah the demented malfunkity squirrel!
Jonah: *arms turn into machine guns*
Crowd: Speech, speech!
Jonah: GIMME NUTS, BITCH! *sprays audience*
2001 - Deep space
Tuck the Muckfuck: Earth has discovered time travel.
Almond Moses - Friend To All, Hot Love Machine, And Eventually A Washed Up Boozer Roaming The Streets Of New York
Quotable quotes:
"Love, oh yeah, love, i got it
baby, uh humm, bah-by, yeeeeoaawh!"
-Almond Moses, "Loving The Love" 1969
"We luhv you, Almond Moses!"
"Shut up darling ah know it!"
-Almond Moses, during his "pimping" days
"Gotta keep your pride, boy. Gotta get up, boy, get up. Feel that warm mothahfuhcka's blood, feel that cold mothahfuhcka's heart, and make his biatch your OWN!"
-Detective C.J Loving, played by A. Moses on "JerseyP.D Grip"
We're through, boobycock. We'll split up the toothbrushes and the ornamental teacups during the divorce hearings, but I want your Donald Duck cufflinks out of my jewlery drawer by sundown.
Grrrrrl power is back, you chauvinist woman-hating dog.
Re: Phat squiddles!!! He's emaciated. He's presiding. He's a hardass. He's Pepper - the Presiding Hardass.
*fridge door opens*
Celery: All rise for the venerable Judge Hungry Hungry Hardass.
This fridge is in session for the matter of the People vs. Blackforest cake.
Pepper: Blackforest cake, do you understand the charges being brought against you?
Blackforest cake: Aye.
Pepper: The fridge charges you with one count of being a delicious motherfucker, a crime punishable by consumption. How do you plead, my pretty?
Blackforest cake: Not guilty, your honour.
Pepper: *scoffs*
Blackforest cake: I beg your pardon!
Pepper: Just practising. Ah, you are aware that you were the last delectable piece in all its sugary goodness of Blackforest cake available for consumption?
Blackforest cake: Yes.
Pepper: You are aware that an expert witness testified that in all cases the last piece due to its rarity and envy from others is at least 50% more of a delicious motherfucker than preceding pieces, as established in the lastus pieceus maxim laid down by The People vs. Strawberry Cheesecake?
Blackforest cake: Expert witness? You mean the custard?
Pepper: Silence! Or I will hold you in contempt of fridge!
Blackforest cake: Objection! Fridge is biased!
Beers: *gasp*
Pepper: Oh, I'm gonna eat you good ...
What say you, impartial jury of learned elders? Silence will mean consent with my decree.
Eggs: *are eggs*
Pepper: This fridge finds you a delicious motherfucker, Blackforest cake.
Blackforest cake: No! I will appeal this to the High Freez arrgghhhhh!
Pepper: *munch, munch*
*****
Worcestershire Sauce That Somehow Goes Kickass With Blackforest Cake, Courtroom Reporter: Well interesting proceedings indeed today, Roscoe. Judge Hungry Hungry Hardass today ruled that arrrghhhhh!
Pepper: Where do you think you're going? *glug glug*
Re: sorry schmandall.
No one wanted to argue when he showed up in his new ride.
_____________________
All wired up with no-one to kick but myself in a cell and an ape with a
stick who's bigger than me and complains that he's sick of my story.
Re: better late than never
Super Cooler Than Smile!
Re: woo!
I was expecting more blood and carnage, but...
You're kidding right Tunder?
joystatic
Re: Phat squiddles!!!
If nobody else participates, maybe I'll win!
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