creative writing notebook...
this will be the thread where i just jot down quick sketches and observations...occasionally, the professor will ask us to bring in a page of such stuff, and since i have to think about it and polish it, i'll post what's worth posting....(all of these will be real-life anecdotes by the way, nothing is fictionalized.)
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It was only in passing that I witnessed this microcosm of human hope in the face of inevitable failure. The sun was almost painfully hot, and coke bottles adorned 90% of the hands around me. One hand was opening a brand new bottle—breaking away the tiny plastic safety tabs—and when the cap was screwed off, the hand flipped over and a pair of unseen eyes glanced at its underside. The hand was still for only a moment before it flipped back over and screwed down the cap, all of this without ever lifting the bottle to the unseen mouth.
*
The calming down—one might say “anesthetizing”—of popular culture can still be witnessed in the face of its loudly proclaimed liberalization. The observation which brought me this revelation happened last week when a VHS tape I had left playing in the VCR reached the end of its tether and the sober, blank television screen disintegrated into its “no signal mode.” Once upon a time, “no signal mode” meant that the screen would burst into salt-and-pepper chaos, hysterical flecks of black and white static sliding over and under one another in an electronic frenzy, accompanied by the roar of empty space. But no longer; now the televisions flip to royal blue nothingness...and silence.
*
She was sitting on the steps with her back to me, talking on a cell phone to no one I knew. I didn’t know her either, but I watched anyway. She was wearing a spaghetti-strap tank-top of an unmemorable pastel shade. Presently, her right hand reached over her left shoulder and she scratched gently and absentmindedly under a shoulder blade. Her fingers left fading red streaks on her skin, and it occurred to me that I had just witnessed something spectacular.
*
I don’t quite remember which happened first, but the overhead light was turned off and the Christmas lights ringing her room were turned on. They were set on a slow-fade pattern, and the smallish room settled quietly into its new colorful metamorphosis. The door shut and she walked across the room towards me, the lights lending her petite frame a candy-store-colored aura of sorts. What can I say? It looked great on her.
*
Tonight, while reading my assignment, a tiny, winged ant crept over the edge of my bed. I considered it for the duration of only a few steps before I took aim and thumped it brutally into the wall. The unexpected force with which it struck the plaster, combined with the lifelessness with which it rebounded and fell out of sight, was quite enough to make me wish I had been more merciful.
I liked how you regarded the "anesthetization" of society, and any mention of shoulder blades covered in a spaghetti-strap tank-top is enough to captivate my attention. The only thing that could detract from the next-to-last passage was that I'd already read a variation of it on AQ, but the only detriment was that it wasn't new to me, and that's hardly a demerit.
Re: Good, good
I also liked the chaos replaced with the serene concept which utilized the blue screen at the end of the video tape as a metaphor.
Witnessing something fantastick may have had a fascination with either beauty or bilogy as its central theme.
The christmas light aura might have been an unusual yet sense prokoking lead in to a seduction scene.
The coke bottle thing may have been a little too drawn out for me. Like looking at something so closely under a microscope, as to obliterate the overall picture. My take home vision clip was of a crowded beach, perhaps a 30 second commercial for coca-cola. For ex: the coke bottle has been tipped over, all the fluid is lost. The smile turns to a frown...caption: Coca-cola, better bring a six pack !
Great stuff. I like the idea of a journalistic notebook. Will you please share more. Also please accept my critique as an appreciation of your creative use of words.
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