Twilight (1/1)

wooo you posted! *does dance* be back later to read! hehe.. im over in the Dawson's Creek Times section making a schedule up for the TBS syndication of DC lol! well, actually right now im off to get dinner.. but i'll be doing that most of the night.

Check it out peeps when you get a chance.. it will be edited every so often with new info!

Laters!

Reading is good. Writing is even better.

Author	Comment
Yoyeen Loves Pacey and Joey Posts: 2 (3/20/03 5:44 pm) Reply	Twilight (1/1) Clutching her knees to her chest, she waited for him. As the dim light above the porch illuminated her, and the serenity of the night escorted her, while the moon hung in the gray skies above her, she waited. While her husband slept, while the world was still, he brought tranquility to her like a gift. The instant she saw him, her fears were calmed and the rapid beat of her heart slowed. Like a mirage in the barren desert, he materialized when she needed salvation. Except he was real. And he was here. "I was scared you wouldn't come." Pacey smiled lazily and walked up to the porch, sitting next to her on the swing. The creak of the wood was the only sound in the dead of night, and somehow it brought her comfort like no other. He was exactly how she remembered, tall and casually elegant in a cream colored sweater under a soft leather jacket. He never changed, only appeared younger and more handsome every time she saw him. "I always do. Every year." She nodded. "I know, but I guess the fear's always there." He understood and didn't reassure her. He didn't know how long this would last between them, knew that life could change course without any explanations or reasons. He knew these visits could stop at any given moment. As the fall of winter snow began, he knew their situation was unexplainable, hindered and yet granted by unseen forces, kept to the shadows of the night. "Where's Dawson?" Joey tucked her feet under her, placing gloved hands onto her lap. Her cheeks were pink from the cold, partially hidden under the thick scarf she wore. She was bundled in winter clothing, fighting off the cold he no longer felt. "He's inside. Sleeping." "How is he?" "Hurting just as much as I am. Feeling an insurmountable amount of guilt because of the situation." "He shouldn't. You shouldn't," he said softly. "We know. Deep down, we know. But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with." White puffs of air fell from her lips when she spoke, a visible reminder to herself that maybe, just maybe there was some life inside her left. “Moving on, Jen called it. It seems more like a betrayal than anything else.” “It’s not, Po – ” he began, but quietly remembered that wasn’t the case. “Joey, it’s not a betrayal. I know that, and so do you. All I want is for you to be happy.” “I haven’t been in a long time,” she answered resignedly. He hesitated before continuing, wondering if maybe these visits were right. He ran a hand through his dark hair and stared at the ground. "Do you want me to stop coming?" Turning to him, her eyes were filled with glistening tears that were dangerously close to falling. Her eyes held a sorrow that hadn't diminished over the years, no matter how many times he told himself these visits were important for her. The pain cut through him and he was amazed at the emotion he felt. It had been a long time since something had touched him this deeply. "No." It was soft, barely imperceptible over the silence of the night. A whisper. An answer to his silent request. Without a sound, he took her hand, removing the glove first so he could feel her. It was warmth he never felt, except with her. Holding steadfast to her hand, joy unfurled inside him slowly, giving him life and strength. Filling him with sadness and joy at the same time because these moments were significant, but so few and far between. "I'm only here if you want me to be here." "I want you here, Pace. I need you here." Reminded again of how precious little time they had together, he trudged on. "How's Emily?" he asked, although he already knew. These questions were more for her benefit than his, a need to share the experiences of the past year with him, to draw him back into her life. Because it was what she needed, he allowed her to draw him back in, to hurt as much as she did. One night out of the year, she had him. Because he let her. Joey rolled her eyes and smiled. "Dating." "Oh, God." "You should see him. He reminds me of you." Their daughter shared the same banter with Jake that her mother and father had shared. Sarcastic comments, devious smirks, and arched brows were a constant companion to the teens. However, Joey saw a glimmer of the bond she had shared with Pacey between them, and knew that given time, her daughter could have someone as amazing as her father. "I'll check up on him later," he told her. Nodding, she looked out at the winter sight as the snow blanketed the yard and the walkway. It was a blinding white in the darkness, a light on the darkest night of her life. She looked at him when he began asking questions about Jake, like a father deathly afraid of his daughter taking up with someone unsuitable. They talked easily about the young man and Emily, and she smiled at the way his eyes sparkled whenever Joey mentioned her. Conversation drifted to all the things the past year had brought and soon, the cold no longer bothered Joey. It was quickly forgotten as she got lost in him, watched the eyes the color of the sky consume her. But, as it was the case every year, the night began to disappear. Their time was ending and he had to leave her again. “I need to go.” Extending his hand, he helped her up. Their lips were cold when they first touched, but soon the heat spread and warmed them both. Pulling away, he took a long time studying her. He saw what the passage of time had done to her, saw what if failed to do with him. “Stay,” she whispered. “I can’t.” Shaking her head, she released him and pulled away, sitting down on the porch swing. Joey looked down at her hands, hands clapped together tightly. “Please. Just a little longer?” He kneeled before her and covered her hands with his. Although he had no real warmth to offer her, she felt it nonetheless. Because it was him. “We have forever, Jo,” he told her. “Someday.” Her voice was shaky when she spoke, fighting the emotion surging inside her. “Why not now?” “Because it’s not the right time.” The goodbyes were always the hardest. Every year she vowed to herself she’d be strong, but when she would see him approach, the strength she possessed disappeared and in its place was quiet desperation. The longing ache she felt vanished at his appearance, but it came rushing back when the eventuality of him leaving came to mind. “When?” “Someday,” he replied gently, trying to offer some comfort. She nodded. The answers were familiar, the pain in his voice evident. Leaving her was just as difficult for him, maybe more so because he had nothing to go back to. He was alive for this one night only, just for her. She was his lifeline, the way he was and always would be hers. Pacey kissed her one more time before turning away and entering the cold. Fear gripped her when her thoughts turned to facing another year without him. Another year because it was her fault. Grief stricken and terrified, she ran to him out in the snow. She tugged his arm and whirled him around to her. The tears were no longer glistening in her eyes, but falling down her cheeks. Every emotion was evident on her face. “Joey…” “I’m sorry,” she blurted out, crying hysterically. “I’m sorry I didn’t swerve quickly enough. I’m sorry that I fumbled with the cell phone while your blood was on my hands. I’m sorry…I’m sorry I was so emotional I couldn’t say I love you back. But I do love you.” Her voice broke and the shudders moving over her body wouldn’t stop. “If I could do it all over again, I wish it had been me. I wish I could have told you. I’m sorry…” she chanted the last sentence as he wrapped his arms around her. “Shhh, shhhhh….it’s okay, Jo.” His hands smoothed her hair back and she sobbed into his chest uncontrollably. Her cries continued and his hands soothed her, quietly consoling her in his arms. In time, the sobs eased somewhat and her breathing returned to a near normal state. “I’m sorry Emily had to grow up, will continue to grow up without you.” She paused. “I’m sorry I married Dawson.” Pacey took a sharp intake of breath before releasing it. “You don’t have to be. I never blamed you for anything, Potter. I don’t blame you for anything now.” “B – but you’re….” “Yeah, I know.” He bent down and kissed a cold cheek, moving a strand of hair back from her face and gently placed his hands on her. “But you’re not. And you have no idea how thankful I am for that. That night, Joey…I knew. Even when you didn’t say it, I knew. The way you held me, the emotions in your eyes….I knew.” And he did know. He always had. Pacey wasn’t sure what power allowed him to visit her, allowed her to see him as if he were real on this night of all nights, but he was appreciative beyond measure, grateful that she was real, and breathing, and alive. “I love you, Pace.” “I know. I love you, too.” For a long time they held one another, sheltered from the cold in each other’s arms. A feeling of calm settled over Joey and along with it, a twinge of happiness she hadn’t felt during the past few years. He allayed her fears and the stillness of the night filled the silence, while she held on tightly to him. Pacey reluctantly left their embrace, lingering longer than he should have. “I need to go.” She nodded, understanding on her face. He gave her so much on these nights, gave her everything she needed. “I know.” A smile stayed on his lips after he kissed her again. Slowly, he walked away, his shoes crunching in the white snow, leaving footprints as the only evidence of his existence. His tall form disappeared when the skies above her went from dark to light, changing just as quickly as he had vanished. Joey smiled to herself and wrapped her coat tightly around her body. “Goodbye, Pacey.”
EviePJlvr Founder of Operation True Love! Pacey & Joey Die Hard, Joshua Jackson Bad Ass Chick. Posts: 159 (3/20/03 7:01 pm) Reply	Re: Twilight (1/1) wooo you posted! does dance be back later to read! hehe.. im over in the Dawson's Creek Times section making a schedule up for the TBS syndication of DC lol! well, actually right now im off to get dinner.. but i'll be doing that most of the night. Check it out peeps when you get a chance.. it will be edited every so often with new info! Laters! Reading is good. Writing is even better.
leep4joy Loves Pacey and Joey Posts: 18 (3/20/03 7:05 pm) Reply	Re: Twilight (1/1) Wow. I'm not sure what to say to that. How incredibly sad and heartbreaking. You write with so much emotion and conviction. The imagery was unbelievable. Absolutely amazing! ~Lee
RinnyPJ Loves Pacey and Joey Posts: 1 (3/20/03 8:20 pm) Reply	Re: Twilight (1/1) I love this fic. The second time I around, I was still bawling, and I'm sick. So I couldn't breathe and I couldn't finish. sniffs It's an amazingly poignent fic.
LadyHaHa Loves Pacey and Joey Posts: 20 (3/21/03 8:55 am) Reply	Re: Twilight (1/1) Oh my goodness another sad story! That was just perfect though. You writers here are amazing. My heart is sad and full at the same time. I'm in awe of all of you. Please post more of your wonderful fic. Donna
WantingPJ Loves Pacey and Joey Posts: 1 (4/8/03 2:06 pm) Reply	Re: Twilight (1/1) WOW...I know I WOWed the first time..but it's still amazing. So wonderfully sad that I can't even reply like you deserve. Edited by: WantingPJ at: 4/8/03 5:07:39 pm
PJfanLizzy Loves Pacey and Joey Posts: 24 (4/8/03 6:35 pm) Reply	great story I don't know how I missed this before. I'm speechless. Sigh. I don't know what to say. Except, SIGH!

Operation True Love: Pacey and Joey > Pacey and Joey Fan Fic > Twilight (1/1)
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