The Last Night
I hesitated about posting here as last time I looked, there hadn't been anything new for quite some time (plus fygmynt was honeymooning), and lo and behold, I looked this morning to see minor activity...
So, here goes all sappy and melodramatic as one can get. Say the words and I'll leave wigga rhymes to Eminem.
The Last Night
Mixed emotions, confusèd notions
Wells are filling, tears are spilling
With time passing at such a speed,
There is a certain missing need
Overcome by sudden fluster,
The words I need I cannot muster
As I sit, watch you, wait,
The evening passes, the hour’s late
My mind is racing, the stresses grow,
Will she claim she didn’t know?
While I wait for an answer, my heart’s eaten by a cancer
Anger rages, sparking fire,
I do not think and call her “liar”
She slaps my face with the truth,
What made my actions so uncouth?
Our eyes are opened, our flaws are called,
We save each other from being mauled
Though I stood there burning all over,
The fire’s extinguished, the pain I can shoulder
Regardless of all that’s been said and done,
My flame for you can be matched by none
Madly, deeply, always, forever,
I will not accept the answer of “never”
I’ll play my cards and take the chance,
Holding out for romance
I’m too determined to give up yet,
My eyes are wet, my heart is set
The sun is rising giving end, to the night behind the bend
Feeling closer in this morn,
No longer do I feel forlorn
Even though you leave at noon,
We’ll be together very soon
If not in person, then in spirit,
I say this so I know you’ll hear it
As I reach to hold your hand,
The ‘glass drops its final sand
If time’s the issue, so long as it seems,
Along the way I’ll meet you in dreams
Although I don’t have a date,
I’ll rest assured and trust in fate.
And I've been such a long time waiting for someone I can call my own/I've been chasing the life I'm dreaming/Now I'm home.
the first thing that struck me was the rhyme scheme...the rhythm or whatnot. very short and clipped, almost like school children chanting. which has an interesting effect on the emotional theme, which is obviously mature and serious.
two lines in particular i thought were powerful:
"she slaps my face with the truth"...that's worthy of being published.
and
"my eyes are wet, my heart is set" is a very nice juxtapositioning of conditions...vaguely conflicting but of course very natural.
great poem, greg...i hope you post more. we could use a little life in here!
Ironically, the girl that I wrote that for -- the night before she left to return to Germany -- never got it, because I actually didn't feel comfortable with her 'knowing' it. (I mean, she did; that was a trip of confessions, but I couldn't hand it over in those words. Not yet.) So anyway, even for her birthday this past May when I sent her other poetry, I couldn't bring myself around to including this.
I don't write much poetry, and as I looked back to post something else, I really became aware of how paranoid I am of making my stuff visible. (That's cuz some if it is real bad.) But then again, I feel the same way about my movie reviews ...
I did find one more for now, strangely, another one in which I rhyme. I don't usually do that.
And I've been such a long time waiting for someone I can call my own/I've been chasing the life I'm dreaming/Now I'm home.
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