The Disease of Alcoholism
IN CASE YOU FORGOT ME, I AM YOUR DISEASE. Allow me
to introduce myself: I am the disease of alcoholism and I am cunning,
baffling and powerful. That’s me. I have killed millions and I am pleased. I
hate anyone who has a program. I hate meetings. I hate Higher Powers. To all
who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. I
love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your
friend your lover. I have given you comfort haven't I? Wasn't I there when
you where lonely? When you wanted to die, didn’t you call on me? I WAS THERE.
I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make
you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry, when you can't feel anything at
all. This is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term
suffering. I've been there for you always. When things where going right in
your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things and
I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to
destroy all the good things in your life. People don't take me seriously.
They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, diabetes they take all those
seriously. FOOLS! Without my help these things would not be possible. I am
such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have
me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace. More than you hate me, I
hate all of you who have a 12 Step program. Your program, your meeting, your
Higher Power. All of these things weaken me, and I can't function in the
manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me,
but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist. But I am here. Until we meet again, if we meet again, I
wish you suffering, denial, despair, anger, untruthfulness and above all
DEATH.
Thanks for the topic, alcoholism is a sneaky disease, thats for sure. The two relaps I had when I was starting out were basically due to the fact that I let my guard down. It doesn't matter if you have 30days or 30 years take the first ounce of alcohol and your in trouble. That includes cough medicine with alcohol and all that stuff. No alcohol for me, thank you.
Sober in Hogsville
Unregistered User
(10/27/00 10:45 am) Reply
nice site
Just got here from the link from staying cyber,hope this site does well,people like us need it.Ive been visiting staying cyber for a couple of years now,with face to face meetings it all helps in this quest for sobriety.
drdena Registered User
Posts: 3
(11/12/00 3:03 pm) Reply
Re: The Disease of Alcoholism
the relapse behavior tends to pop up first with me and this is as hard for me to handle as taking that first one-the craziness feels like i have taken the first one---
where does it come from? i have no answer, this disease just sneaks up on me- usually i've let something go in my program and i get unbalanced and then i go back to step one and start again------
i need to keep my life simple and without unrealistic expectations of myself-again for me acceptance of myself for who i am and not who i want to be is key
today i am focusing on recovery and taking inventory for the week-
thank you all for being out there to share the hope for the alcoholic still suffering and in school
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