Soho Traveller in the arts
Posts: 30
(5/26/02 9:29 am) Reply
Sleeping With You
I play
ribcage
in the greatest
garage band in the world.
PW Earsman Traveller in the arts
Posts: 41
(5/26/02 8:16 pm) Reply
Re: Sleeping With You
Soho,
What a super idea and super little poem.
The only thing I would change (dare I?) is to put 'ribcage' on the same line as 'I play.'
The break doesn't seem to serve any purpose and actually causes a speed-bump, at least to my ear.
Cheers
Peter E
Soho Traveller in the arts
Posts: 31
(5/27/02 5:29 am) Reply
Re: Sleeping With You
Thanks for reading and commenting, Peter. I have one vote to keep the line-break (in another forum), and one vote to ditch it. I need a tie-breaker. A shoot-out! (I have the World Cup on the brain.)
Re: Sleeping With You
Lovely little snapshot, Soho.
I'm tempted to suggest either put the first 3 words on the same line; or put them all on their own separate line (for a cascade effect, like falling water.)
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