Soho Traveller in the arts
Posts: 25
(4/30/02 11:18 am) Reply
One Last Little Canvas
It’s all small steps tonight, and Danforth is all slip and slide
in the freezing rain. Are you surprised, my ex-love, that I have
no bitterness? I depart as I arrived, in pure enchantment.
I’ve painted my life as a bright village festival, and so it is.
And you yourself were painted, daub by daub, with boy-
hood’s painting-box. In city, in town; in tavern and in valley—
you were drawn in pencil, in charcoal, in crayon—
up and down the street I love, starting in September.
I liked this one too, with its contrast of wistfulness/bitterness. A sweet/sour contrast is always an effective way to evoke deeper emotions inside the reader as it makes us ask questions within ourselves as we read the text.
Perhaps the final phrase needs a touch more of a poetic taste, ie: "...sketches of September..." or some variation. The word "starting" doesn't have any allusive connotation to it. As a final note in a poem, I'd like it to have a more musical quality, something that resounds inside us after we've left the words on the page.
btw: have you ever read Michael Ondaatjie's "In the Skin of a Lion," which is set among the immigrant communities of Toronto in the early years of the 20th century. It's a fine amalgam of poetry/prose.
Soho Traveller in the arts
Posts: 27
(5/1/02 10:04 am) Reply
Re: One Last Little Canvas
Thanks for the comments, Sandy. No, I haven't read M.O.'s novel, though I've heard of it, of course. Have you read his early book of poetry called "The Collected Works of Billy the Kid"? It's brilliant. (BTW, M.O. is in that anthology I was telling you about.)
Alchemies Traveller in the arts
Posts: 1
(7/3/04 9:27 pm) Reply
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