Myra Charleston
Lady Myra
Posts: 24
(9/2/02 2:31 pm)
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Men
Subject: men
Q--What should you do when you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A--Shoot him again.
Q--Why do little boys whine?
A--They're practicing to be men.
Q--How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A--One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Or, Alternate Answer--Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Q--What do you call a handcuffed man?
A--Trustworthy.
Q--What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A--You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q--Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A--Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Q--What's the best way to kill a man?
A--Put a six-pack and a naked woman in front of him, and ask him to choose just one.
Q--What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A--They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch.
Q--Why do men whistle while they're on the toilet?
A--Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q--What is the difference between men and women?
A--A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q--How does a man keep his youth?
A--By giving her money, diamonds, and furs.
Q--How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A--Re-name the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
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