Out of Character . . .

For Krat, so there.

In Character . . .

He couldn't stand it anymore. No more pain, no more heartbreak it was too much.

The world, nothing more than a wash of sickening black and the occasional light bit here and there, was tormenting the male day in, day out. Everlasting Soul moved through the thick foliage without hesitation or contemplation towards a destination that he hoped would bring about a relief. Death had never been an option before but the more that the thoughts swirled in his mind the more he wanted to go and rid himself of this world. Everything was gone, from his puppies tto the very soul his mother had named his after. He wasn't going to be Everlasting any longer, he knew the lands quite well up until roughly the beach but he had taken a detour and was now wandering around vaguely and knowing that at any minute anything could happen. Without proper sight the wolf was lost to do anything even remotely safe and though he wanted to end his life the large arctic wolf didn't exactly consider wandering over a cliff to be his last rites. Yet he stumbled blindly about, his eyes making his tongue trip over curses, low and under his breath in his native french tongue. Periwinkle eyes were almost white with the blindness that was setting in from those horrible plants and as they blinked, almost struggling to gain some semblance of sight he stopped. A paw touched a rock if not relatively gently for wandering around without sight. Taking a step back and limping forward, the infection from his paw growing more painful because of the leaves around him and the sticks that seemed to jab at him at every angle. Yet he stopped, tail was still as nothing even close to happiness came through his body. An idea came through his head and as pictured himself with sight again, one last time before he killed himself off of the plants that surely lay nearby.

Taking a few steps he let his head fall against the rock, missing it the first time and succeeding on the second and then third time. Blood came out warm and sticky over his face and muzzle as the eye began to pain and swell. He knew that it hadn't been a wise idea and he knew that he shouldn't do it. But he did it again and again. He thought he felt the skull break but it was most likely his imagination as dizziness came over him. Ears twitched gently as he lay there, waiting for help or rather waiting to die. He wanted to move on, he wanted to come back in a place where he wouldn't be blind. The grass around him swayed gently in the winds but he didn't see it, as a paw gingerly nudged the bone arrow necklace that Salvaged had given him. He knew that Eternity wouldn't forgive him and perhaps that was for the better. He knew that things would happen to Salvaged that he couldn't control perhaps it was better to die. Tail swayed gently for a moment as the world seemed to still and the lights that normally only came here and there grew brighter. His mother had told him of a heaven and a hell a place where wolves departed. Oh how wrong his mother had been. Instead there was nothing more than darkness and for a while he believed that there was nothing more than consciousness fleeting as the body bled and bled. He knew that no one would find him and he could almost hear the crows coming to take him away to their bellies and children. Yet he stayed in the darkness and didn't struggle as the pain went away, slowly at first but instead replaced with a dull nothingness. Laying on his side in this nothingness he knew that no one would care and perhaps most would move on with their loss and forget he even existed at Jaded Shadows.

A light again. It was as though there was a transition as the totem pole came into view and then as he thought of his pack and his world back there he knew that there was little to be done but to accept what fate brought. He knew he wasn't alive as the blood was gone and as he stopped to peer into a pool of water and could see everything fell into place and he accepted it. Both happy and sad was he, Everlasting Soul let his paws fall upon a border with a scent just like his wolven family left behind. Perhaps he would find his mother or new wolves that had transcended permanent death and moved on into an afterlife.
"A better time ahead."