Dear Fat Ass
U Better get me my nucleur missle this year (I asked for one last year and you didn't get it... as a punishment we got rid of the chimney). So as I was saying, get me this Nucleur missle or I'll have to come and find you out in the North Pole or Lapland or wherever you are (trust me, i can find out... if nature told me anything, its that you can kill anyone (teehee, hope you like my godfather quote)).
Sorry to hear about your incarceration. But, your efforts were commendable. Art may not be dead, but that demonic abomination that emerged from his mangled corpse is even better! See, my main gripe with Art has always been that he weasels in on my "action", if you catch my drift. He likes to undercut me when I'm making my move (yes, I only have one move, and it goes a little something like "hey there"). But, I don't think he'll be very effective now that he's transformed into a freakish monster.
But... wouldn't it be ironic, Santa, if he still stole all the ladies away from me, and was even more charming? Huh, Santa? Wouldn't that be some kind of... crazy... ironic twist? OMFG!!!! LMFXCZZRQW4DR97TZXV!!!!
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