BOSTON PUBLIC

FAT ALBERT: Look kids, I don't mean to preach, but:

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

HOT TEACHER: *is hot*

SLIGHTLY LESS HOT TEACHER: *is slightly less hot*

KID: I'm disillusioned and unmotivated. I will now proceed to commit suicide, but not before having an affair with one or more of the hot teachers, punching a smug nerd in his smug mug, and changing nationalities where convenient for mah darn tootin', rivin' out roud, one time one time homeschoolin' niggaz. Now I'm gonna shoot up the locker room. Strewwwwth!

FYVISH FINKLE: Oy! Ya shot me, ya rotten shmottzayentl! *fuses with Topol*


LAW AND ORDER:

GAUNT COP: Fuck yeah.

GRIZZLY VETERAN: Mmmffrrnnn, sewujof shorrrgnnn DEA PTC OPP kissmyass, hreferd goddamn moiicantrellnnn, yannowhatimesane?

GAUNT COP: Fuck yeah.

GRIZZLY VETERAN: *smokes*

GAUNT COP: *drinks*

GRIZZLY VETERAN: *cheats on spouse*

GAUNT COP: *admits to homosexuality*

AUDIENCE: *gets the fucking message already*


SURVIVOR:

FUCKHEAD HOST: Amber, just how hard was it - I mean physically, and mennally - to go toe to toe with the day to day, day in day out, day after day, on the pick and roll give and go three seconds in the paint?

AMBER: *attention span of a gnat*

JOHN: I'll field this one, Jeff. You see, we all came in this game knowing, physically, and mennally, that it'd be tough. But when the going gets tough, the tough get going, you know, like physically, and mennally.

FUCKHEAD HOST: Interesting answer. Now, Bill, can I ask you - determination triumph spirit American people September 11 physically, and mennally?

BILL: That's a tough one, Jeff. But when the going gets tough ...


LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN:

DAVE: Hi everybody, got a big, big show for you tonight. Is it big, Paul?

SYCOPHANT: Oh, it's big Dave. *plays idiotic tune on keyboard*

DAVE: Shut the fuck up. And might I just comment on how dirty, unkempt and just generally unfuckworthy our audience looks tonight ...

AUDIENCE: *silence*

DAVE: Period!

AUDIENCE: Love Dave Of Own Free Will!

DAVE: You sir in the red, where are ya from?

DRONE: Well -

DAVE: That's just great! *fucks drone's wife*

DRONE:

DAVE: We'll be right back after these messages folks, coming up next - me!