How rigid do you belive AA to be?
Last night at my meeting we got to discussing the 10th tradition and AA in general. I shared that it is my belife that one of the best things about AA is that there are no rigid rules, that you can't be kicked out, that its your higher power as you understand it to be, and that the last thing a drunk fresh of the street needs is to be turned off by a hard line of rules. I was rebuffed by an old timer who basically called bs on what I shared. He shared that there is hard rules and guidelines and if you don't follow them then you are not practicing AA. Well I want to know your opion, how do you view AAs rules flexable or not?
Hi, John. I think how rigid AA is depends on the group. My personal belief is that if there had been too many rules, and too many requirements, I would still be out there practicing. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking: I certainly had that. I am in a small town, and relatively small meetings. I have never felt threatened, or insulted, or told that there were things that I HAD to do, other than don't drink , get a sponser, read the B.B., and go to meetings. The best thing for newcomers is to take what they need, and leave the rest on the shelf. We tend to forget that AA is made up of people, who if they are rigid in their life outside of AA, they will be the same in AA.
Thanks for inviting me to your site, Johe, it's off to a good start!! nhgal
How Rigid is AA ?
I feel that old timer has probably forced more people out of AA than welcomed in. The are NO RULES in AA, suggestions yes. The founders set this program to change with the times. That old timer sounds like a bleeding deacon to me. Bet he is unhappy! Jon
Sharon F
Unregistered User
(10/31/00 9:09 am) Reply
Rules???
If there had been fast and hard rules in AA I wouldn't be here. As a preacher's daughter Rules were to be broken. 22+ years later I have found only 1 must in the Big Book.. Suggestions as to how we do it, getting sober and staying that way is all I can do.. Suggest that you might try it, you might find that this way of life IS the easier and softer way. I have to admit that too often we "old-timers and old farts" forget where we come from and that OUR way is not the AA way.
I pray that I never get so "set in my ways" that I can not remember where I came from and what it FELT like when I was there. In the mean time all I can do is pray for the oldtimers that their memories return, the eyesight becomes clear enough to read the BB again, and the senility holds off long enough for what we read can stick with us.
Thanks for letting me spout off.
Love and Prayers
Sharon F.
slfrey@Yahoo.com
Flexibility!!!
Rules can cause anger and resentment, especially if they are restrictive and perhaps even more so if they require us to make major changes. Also if things don't work out we can blame the rules and the rule makers. However if people make suggestions and even better if they show how it has worked for them then we can decide for ourselves if we want to follow the same path. The first thing that was ever said to me at the meeting was the only requirement for membership was a desire to stop drinking....I didn't have to call myself an alcoholic until I felt ready to do so. I think an important part of recovery is taking responsibility for ourselves and that includes finding our own path to sobriety following the guidelines that are set out. if these are too engraved in stone then many of us will set ourselves up to fail. So lets keep it flexible!!!
Love Yvonne
kokomoro
Unregistered User
(11/3/00 8:10 pm) Reply
AA Rigid?
The more history I read about the development of AA, the more I find out things about just how rigid it started out to be, and just how flexible it was made to be, so that it could be all-inclusive and never exclusive. A non-alcoholic advisor persuaded Bill from using all the "you musts" he wanted to use in the Book, urging him to use "we ought" instead. Having said that, I personally found that if I didn't adhere to those 12 steps more closely, I lost my spiritual connection in a hurry & got drunk behind loose living every time!
drdena Registered User
Posts: 2
(11/12/00 2:33 pm) Reply
Re: How rigid do you belive AA to be?
i agree it is up to the group- i now have a new sponsee and the group that she belonged to and her previous sponsor gave rules not suggestions and she could not get it--when we started i shared from the eye (I) and gave her suggestions--i've learned to let go of controlling others and to shre what works for me-- those that want what i have will find me and then we learn from each other for the teacher is also the student.
the suggestions are not laws they are suggestions that do work and each person chooses how they will use the suggestions-
for me- I learned to take what I need and leave the rest behind
thank you for the site
Re: How rigid do you belive AA to be?
Nice board, John.
I share the opinion that the rigidity of AA is up to the individual group. A few years ago, there were some of us "multiply addicted" drunks who came into the group and were wisely counseled not to talk too much about our "other addictions". As about four of us stayed sober and began to feel comfortable and "a part of", we noticed that a couple of our oldtimers were running up to newcomers who had introduced themselves and "and-a's" and telling them they needed to go to NA, CA, etc.
The four of us had several discussions about this and started running to the newcomers faster than the oldtimers [which is not hard, as most of them are OLD], giving them the same counsel we had received - "Keep coming to meetings, but hold down the discussion of other addictions and listen for the similarities and not the differences." This seems to work if the newcomer DOES have a problem with drinking. If they are purely an addict, we take it on ourselves to hand-carry them to a more appropriate 12-step meeting in the vicinity.
It is my opinion [and everybody has one] that it is our responsibility to HELP people,alcoholic or not. And telling them they do not belong is not helping.
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