Guilt.
((Anyone ever notice how much bad stuff happens up here...))
I shouldn't be doing this. *The soles of familiar combat boots scraped against the hard ground under Lyddie's feet, as they had before so many times in the past. Vacant, gray eyes carefully chose the route for thir body to follow, red hair occasionally falling into their way from the wind, usually pushed out of the way by a hand. Lyddie was clad mainly in black, as she had been since her return to the school, the only trace of a different color lying in the deepy navy jeans and violet cloak, a cloak she didn't seem to let go of anymore.*
*How long had it been, since she had come up here, Lyddie thought to herself as she came up to the top of the hill, staring out at the mountains and the winter sunset with the same, blank gaze she always studied the scene with...Whenever there was a problem, too big a problem for her to stand anymore at the school she came here, and though they almost always seemed to worsen it was a relief from everything. Lyddie sat down on one of the rocks, pulling one knee up to her chin and sitting there, hugging it.*
*She didn't converse with anyone now, much less even look at them unless it was Victor. Everyone was scared, even when it was over they still knew it was in them. The school had been gone, Carmilla had been...she was still gone, at the hands of Aseri and it just made things feel worse. Every time she had to look at someone, she saw that loss, the loss of a great woman who had done great things out of total selflessness...and they had taken that selflessness and burned, shocked, and crumbled it to the ground, little more than a pile of rubble. That was still what it was...a pile of rubble, grand, bedecked as it had been for the last two-thousand years, but still...just that. Nothing.*
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
"Mind if i sit with you?" asked a deep very horse voice. It was Eclipse, and rather than being horse from talking, it was that way for lack of use. He hadn't spoken with anyone since Pippin and Vic back in the clearing.
Today he was actually wearing clean clothes, black jeans, and boots, a white muggle button up shirt (think...those gas station shirts with the short sleevs and the country hics name on a patch placed on the breast of the shirt? Get it..who cares...lol) which he left unbuttonted to reveal his ever common white muscle shirt. He still had those dark bags under his eyes, eyes which were once allways filled with feeling and emotion, now blank and cold. And his hair was neatly combed, and tied back into a pony tail, to even his own surprise.
He didnt wait for a responce, he simply sat next to her, looking out at nothing. He'd come here to just look, needing a change of scenery from the forest, which was now becoming a second home in his attempts to run away from all the recent happenings.
"Calm...isnt it?"
"Im not leaving this school..ever...I'll make sure something like this never happens again.."-Eclipse Luna
Re: Guilt.
*Lyddie's head turned at the sound of a voice, eyebrows barely raising as she saw Eclipse. She couldn't really blame him for coming up here, if his reason was the same as hers. Watching him as he sat down, he spoke again, it made her think back again to that day. Loki had lost it that day, and she had seen since then just what she had become. Lyddie felt badly about, like she did about everything else now, but she tried to push it out of her head. It wasn't a topic she wanted to talk about now.*
"Yeah..." *she said quietly in agreement with him.* "Always is, up here..."
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
Re: Guilt.
*Lyddie furrowed her brow as she listened to an apology, of all things, come out of Eclipse's mouth. She shifted, turning so she could see how face better, a small hint of an old shine in her eyes, a curious one, not mischevious but merely wondering, not completely understanding.*
"For what?" *she asked softly, not a demand as most of her questions were now.*
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
Re: Guilt.
*Lyddie looked down at the ground as he spoke, closing eyes for a minute before she could remember it properly. Did she even remember it...she did. She had bought her sword that day...a sword she wouldn't use now, nor any other weapon because they had all killed so much, ruined her life while she had turned a blind eye as though it wouldn't matter when it was over...*
"See that cliff..." *Lyddie looked out at the ledge that laid a good twenty of so feet in front of them.*
"...I almost fell off that two years ago...and all that time I was dangling there I thought about letting go, thinking that it would be better to die then to try and work everything out. And now I'm back here, looking at it again, everything @#%$ up ten times worse than before...and I'm wondering if it just would've been better if I had let go."
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
Re: Guilt.
"No...its better that you hung on..." eclispe sounded distant.
Her speaking of falling off the cliff had jogged his mind some. This wasnt the 2nd time he'd ever been alone with her. This was the third time, second time up at stiles!
".....We've been here together.." He now turned and looked at her smiling a bit, his tired looking eyes, showing a hint of laughter as he was remembering what had happened.
"Im glad you didnt fall off...Cause then i might have jumped off the cliff after that vodka bottle." he was still smiling and hinting at what he meant, to see if she remembered.
"Im not leaving this school..ever...I'll make sure something like this never happens again.."-Eclipse Luna
Re: Guilt.
*A faint chortle, more like a laughing breath came out of Lyddie, and the corners of her mouth turned upwards, just a little. She remembered that day...It had been a little scary, a new experience, seeing someone she had known for a while, and known him as sober being drunk, but like everything then she had dealt with it.*
"Someone else would've come," *Lyddie said, nodding.* "Whether you had liked them or not, they would've."
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
Re: Guilt.
Eclipse smile stayed steady, and he felt odly happy to see Lydz break into the slightest smile.
"Im glad it was you though...cause you and I arent that close...but thats something only you and i can joke about." he felt that that was their single strong bond now, that and this moment, that seemed so important in its simplicity.
"We'll get through it all Lydz. We're a special group, you, I and the rest of them." he figured shed know who they were.
"We all showed up in the same year...have you ever found that strange? That everyone of us started at hoggies on the same day..."
"Im not leaving this school..ever...I'll make sure something like this never happens again.."-Eclipse Luna
Re: Guilt.
"I never really thought about that..." *Interlacing her fingers, Lyddie rested her chin on them. It was a long while ago, two, three years, it seemed...but he was right, they had all come the same time; her, Victor, Peregrin, Loki, Ryleigh, and Eclipse.*
"I remember...first person I think I talked to was Peregrin...and we dueled in the Common Room..." *Lyddie paused, a small laughing coming out.* "That was so stupid...before I even knew what I was and Pip could barely do anything...it was strange." *Further the memories came, good and bad. She hadn't met Eclipse, Victor, or any of the others really until last term, when she had most certainly been around more, and things had been...well, even less normal than before.*
"I didn't know anyone until last term, I guess," *she said.* "Funny though, yeah, we all just came together...helped each other, healed each other, fell in love..." *Again she paused, her mind going to the Dark Realm. Chaos it had been inside her, before Aseri had placed the spell on them. Paul had revealed himself, his soul that had laid dormant inside her after his death. From him and her anger she had taken a turn to be the insane one, exploding with her rage and breaking down completely. Eclipse had tried to pull her out of that, before Victor had come, and she had calmed. But still...*
"I should've thanked you before," *She murmured, her eyes turning away from him again and looking out at the view of the mountains, the setting sun, like she'd seen it so many times before.* "You tried to help in the Dark Realm, when I was insane..."
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
Re: Guilt.
"I was no help," *Lyddie said quietly, the smile that had been on her face fading. She leaned on her hand again, face intent, biting her lip from the inside* "It just...sucked so badly down there, I couldn't take it. I was the first person they took, and after I got there I just knew that...it wasn't going to work."
*She ran her hand over her forehead briefly, tracing a thin like that was barely there now. One of the Amazons had given her that when she had tried to fight, right up against the wall...*
"I guess the big reason I let it happen was because I felt helpless. Carm, Tomal...none of them knew what was going on, or anyone else...and I was stupid enough to think it was my father, just because I could hear him again. But he's gone now..." *Lyddie shook her head slightly.*
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
Re: Guilt.
Eclipse shook his head, "You arent stupid...dont say that." he looked to her now.
"Any one couldve been confused about who was responcible if they had someone talking in their head...I'll admit...i thought that she was one of my grandfathers followers..."
He shifted his legs, bringing one knee up and resting his chin on it, while pulling out grass with his hands.
"Boy was i wrong..."
"Im not leaving this school..ever...I'll make sure something like this never happens again.."-Eclipse Luna
Re: Guilt.
"We were all wrong..." *Lyddie ran her hand through her hair again out of habit, pushing the short curls out of her face and over one shoulder best she could.* "Maybe that's why it was different this time around, why we were all hit worse than before...Because last year, everyone knew what it was, everyone understood...but this year...this year there was no warning...no source..." *Her voice suddenly trailed off, mouth closing completely, eyes glazing over as it she were in deep concentration, until her lids lowered and again, she was running through memories. Things she didn't want to hear, didn't want to see...but there was something...*
"Kill you?" *Lyddie tilted her head backwards, still pinned against him, laughing again, baring teeth that although looked human seemed sharper now. Power curled around her, dancing and licking at her silver skin like flames. She was the untouchable, the one sole survivor in this sea of death. Again, her head lowered close to his, eyes passing over Aaric's petrified green eyes, pressing her cheek lightly to his and speaking into his ear.*
"I wouldn't kill you, Aaric," *she murmured, returning to the thick, beautiful tone that would put fear in the heart of any mortal man.* "Because I know you knew this was going to happen. You knew Hogwarts would crumble like this. And yet, but kept the element of surprise on our side. So you see..." *The lips placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, a dark grin curling into them as she stayed there for a moment, hand stroking his hair, power curling around the two of them just barely missing Aaric's skin.
"You're one of us," *Lyddie whispered.* "And you can't kill me because of that very reason."
*Her eyes shot open again suddenly, and Lyddie sat straight where she was, trembling from the memory, taking in a few raspy breaths before raising a hand to her mouth to muffle the harsh sounds.*
"Eclipse..." *she whispered, staring blankly ahead of her.* "What if I told you someone did know."
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
Re: Guilt.
"It was my brother." *Her words were eerily quiet, and Lyddie lowered her hand somewhat from her mouth, half-chewing on her nails, half still absent-mindedly mumbling out the words. A knot had tied itself in her stomach, her insides screaming for her to let out the anger inside herself, but it was impossible.*
"When I started hearing Paul again so did Aaric," *she spoke sibilately ((heheh new word go me XD)).* "And Paul started passing information to Aaric about what was going to happen because he was inside my head and could see and know everything...and Aaric didn't say anything."
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
It made him boil inside, to know that this whole situation could have been avoided, that all the lives he took, couldve been spared. It bubbled up...and he could feel his eyes start to glow.
"calm.." he mumbled to himself, and took a deep breath.
Then he remembered...alex was with he and loki when they got kidnapped....
"Alex...he knew we were kidnapped.....Jesus....what a pair of brothers we have...."
"Im not leaving this school..ever...I'll make sure something like this never happens again.."-Eclipse Luna
Re: Guilt.
"Yeah..." *Lyddie muttered darkly.* "Only difference was mine didn't give a rat's ass as to what happened as long as I looked bad..." *she looked down to see the hand that she had been on her face was clenched tightly into a fist, nails digging into her flesh and making it bleed, knuckles stark white in contrast to her usual paleness. Quite suddenly it straightened, Lyddie staring down at the blood that stained her skin, the color beginning to rise within it again. The faintest tinge of violet appeared in the gray of her eyes, but there was no other shift in her appearance.*
"Why this," *she hissed.* "Why the @#%$ this."
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
Re: Guilt.
"Haven't we had enough though..." *Lyddie stared down at her hands, shaking...why were they shaking...she crossed her arms tightly, still feeling their abnormal movement even under her arms.*
Miserable Half-Breed.
"Haven't we all just had DAMN ENOUGH OF FATE?!"
*Standing suddenly, her eyes momentarily glazed with a cold flash of violet, Lyddie whirled around, arms free and forming an orb over her head. The power sank deep into the orb, slowly, and for a moment she merely stood still, holding it above her head and drenching herself in the familiarity of it, of the power seeping from her pores and forming into something more. But Lyddie hurled it away with an abrupt shout, over the cliff. Her eyes became gray once again as she fell, sitting on the ground, watching the orb disappear, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth only slightly.*
"I shouldn't even be here," *she hissed angrily.*
The Antithia "Deliver me from forgetting everything else, and sacrificing all purpose, All to resolve it." - The Vampire Lestat
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