Scarlet Phoenix Fire 
Patrician
with faithful Luggage
(2/13/03 4:31 pm)
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Guild Contest Hall of Fame
Contest 1
Winners: Thieves Guild
it was a dark stormy night over the high energy building.... just over the high energy building. the cloud were curled into weird, towering shapes, and the gods, the ice giants, and a couple of creatures which we prefer not to name watched overhead with great interest. Ponder Stibbons sat at the organ keyboard of the greatest thinking machine ever.... grown. Hex was troubled... ponder seemed to have gone mad. he kept asking about how pineapples would be best able to conquer the universe. the peice of occult machinery who answered the long asked question "why?" was stumped....the ants where having fits, and the resident mouse had taken refuge somewhere in the next dimension. besides the tapping of keys, and the occaisonal creaks from the antoid restraints, all was quiet.
In the great hall however, it was not quiet. in fact it was bloody loud. It was the archchancellors birthday, so, as is customary, it prompted 3 months worth of feasting and parties. Old tom struck 4pm, silence covering the whole university for a brief period. The bursar beconned to a nearby pot plant to pass the butter.and was promptly knocked unconcious by a flying pineapple. The archchancellor stood up and started to prope a toast to himself, realised that he was still silenced, and then resumed again when old tom had finished. "frie... Brot... Other wizards. yet again we are here to celebrate me, to acknowledge that i am the head chacellor, ad that any of you who try to depose me will end up with a crosssbow bolt up his behind *broad smile* and i would also like to announce that" suddenly the glass in his hand shattered, the broken peices fell to the floor, changed into small isects and quickly scurried away, the pineapple which had knocked out the bursar grew legs and ran into a table leg repeatedly, and all the wizards, who weren't drunk into stupors, sat bolt upright. there was a very loud, if unspoken "uh oh" hanging above the heads, before it turned into a loaf of bread, crumbled to dust and was picked up by the insectoid peices of glass where it was thought to be a blessing, to save the starving thousands stcuk in the middle of the great sandy desert called the great hall.
A small group of wizards, led by the lecturer in recent runes, made a great attempt at turning to look at the source of the disturbance, gave up aand went back to sleep. Ridcully, mad as a troll at having been interupted during his speech, stormed into the HMB, and pulled Ponder out of a pile of sand randomly created for the purpose of the story.
"whats going on here boy!?" the archchancellor demanded.
"I've done it sir! i've found the first book every written, even before the octavo. i know the answer to the ultimate question!"
"well, you interupted my announcment of resignation. I was going to make all those snot nosed students resign" The archchancellor roared.
"Sir, did u not hear me. i know the answer to the ultimate question! the question that people everywhere have been asking for centuries"
"Then spit it out then, if u think it's so important"
"Well, its a bit confusing......sir... it's.......
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42"
"42?"the archchancellor wasn't impressed "i won't have u wasting valuable eating time sitting out here with this infernal computation engine while there is perfectly good food sitting inside, get u'r behind in there before i get it in there for you. March!"
The gods sighed with releif, the ice giants asked for their toaster back, and the unmentionable thinies went back to plotting how to envelope the entire universe in a reign of icky.
And ponder at cake.
The end
Scarlet Phoenix |
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