Fade to Nothing
 Harry Potter
7th Year Gryffindor
Gryffindor Seeker
The Boy Who Lived
Posts: 4
(9/16/05 6:08 am)
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Edana M. Reeder
((Shooting for another one!))
Out of Character
Name: Fade to Nothing; real name is Danielle, please call me Dani or Elle. Thanks.
Contact:
-EzInbox
- maghach@yahoo.com
-AIM: TheLUPINwolf
Previous experience: About two years
Codes: Correct - Admin
In Character
Name: Edana Marie Reeder
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Residence: In a small village with her foster parents outside London
Year: 7th
Blood: Pure-blooded, as both parents were magical parents, but she knows nothing about her entire heritage of her biological parents.
Wand: Holly wood, 15 inches with a dreagon heartstring core. It is good for charms and such.
Appearance: (Avatar is Liv Tyler) Edana is what you call pretty, but not beautiful. She has this natural beauty about her that most people only see if she's willing to let you see her. Edana is about medium height, just the exact right height for a female who is her age and she's very thin, weighing less than she should (but it's not lack of eating, but more that her metabolism is extremely high and she doesn't gain any weight like she should be.) Her figure is curveous, but she could definitely be more developed, even she could admit. Edana has unusual facial features to her that make her look nothing like anyone else that she's bet. She has bright almond-shaped electric blue eyes that shock you when you first see them and is always full of emotion. She has a long very oval shaped face with very pale skin (she lacks her participation in the sun and would much rather stay indoors.) She has high cheekbones (as her face is very thin for her lack of weight) and has not a mark on her face to mar it. She had delicately, perfect, thin arched eyebrows and sometimes may have small, very vague bags under her eyes to indicate her lack of sleep, though they are not noticeable unless you look carefully at her. She has broad shoulders and long legs with a short torso. She has delicate, skillful fingers and long fingernails that aren't colored a different color than the natural. She also has long, very narrow, and sort of pushed up nose with pouty thick lips the color of an off rose red. Her long, dark brown hair flows down to the middle of her back and is usually styled in a ponytail, as she likes to keep it out of the way. She has been thinking of getting it cut, but hasn't summoned up enough courage to do so yet, she likes the style of short and silky, so she will be getting that.) Edana's beautiful hair that is a dark brown with slight natural highlights of red with fake highlights of blonde make her hair her best feature of herself. On occasions, she will make her long hair out of a pointy tail and put it down, where it could really show how beautiful it is. She likes to experiment with her hair and will do many things with it.
To put really bluntly, truthfully and easily, Edana dresses like a slob. Perhaps, not the slob that you might think of instantly when you hear that word, but for her she dresses like a slob. In someone else's mind, it's dressing quite casually, but more so casually then anyone else. Edana hates having to dress up, and therefore doesn't really do anything that is formal or occasional unless she absolutely has no other choice but to do so. Edana is more comfortably in something like sweats and a t-shirt, when she's around her Hufflepuff common room, she's more likely to immediately change out of her school uniform as soon as possible and put on sweats and a long (overly large) t-shirt. If she's in school, or such as situations as those (like at home during vacation too), she'll just wear old-fashioned jeans and a shirt, nothing fancy, nothing hip and nothing that many people are willing to wear (always something that most people will try to avoid wearing.) This sort of thing makes Edana stand out, whether she wants to or not. Edana likes her comfort and though most people judge her as someone who's out of date, this is the one thing that Edana doesn't care about when people say this about her, the one thing that she is able to let go of quickly. Edana has pierced ears, though very rarely does she wear earrings, as she had just gotten them pierced because of a dare she had with her friends. She also has a burn mark on her right shoulder, that takes up the entire part of her shoulder that was said to be caused by the fire (or it was the most logical answer that people could come up with on how she had gotten it, though it's true to say that she had been able to escape the fire without much of a scratch.) Some people like to think it was a birthmark, but they could never know exactly how she had gotten it, since it was already there when the muggle woman found her. Edana also has a special ring, made of sterling silver. It is a band that fits only her middle finger and nowhere else (it has fit her finger all her life, despite her growth so obviously, it was a magical ring) with an imprint of a snake (presumably the house serpent of Slytherin) coiled around the band. It is her most favored possession, as it's the only thing that links to her life with her biological parents.
Personality: One word can describe Edana Reeder. Shy. Edana is extremely shy and is not known throughout the school as some other Hufflepuffs are, even some of her own housemates in Hufflepuff are unsure of exactly who she is. She hates to have to associate herself with people that she doesn't know and hates to put herself out there or make herself stand out. She would much rather try to blend in and not be 'different.' Edana is the type to keep to herself and she likes it that way. She's always been a sort of outcast to the school society and her own family all of her life, so she is able to understand and get used to the fact that she doesn't really belong anywhere, rather just goes where she's taken (the fact that she's able to handle loneliness can benefit her and strengthen her.) Edana is very closed up and only a RARE few people are able to open her up, her parents can't even seem to get her to talk about her school day, they can't get her to say why she's been laughing or crying. She's the type that won't trust people too much and will immediately distrust someone even if they are trying to be nice to her, as she always seems to think that she's being taken advantage of. She is slightly paranoid and is always extra cautious around people, careful not to let her guard down or let anything slip as she tries to end the conversation. Her closed up world has caused her to be dislikable and many people just chose to ignore her than go out of their way to speak to her, on many occasions someone will say something along the lines of 'She's not worth our time.' In which case, something like this only makes Edana even more closed up and distrustful to the world. Edana is very vulnerable to verbal abuse and is extremely serious when it comes to someone who is teasing her, this sort of thing only makes her close up her world even more. Frustration and sorrow build up in her, but she's always holding it in and has a reasonable amount of self-control when it comes to anger management. She's very serious and rarely even smiles as she feels that gives her vulnerability to show happiness at something. Edana is also not very good under pressure and will cave, whether that is involving a friend, exam or a parent. Edana is not exactly 'emo' or 'depressed,' she is just trying to look out for herself and not put herself in the position where she might be taken advantage of.
On the other side of that, if you are lucky enough to get into Edana's trust, you'll see how sweet and loving she is. Edana, underneath it all, is very calm and mature; she's not into petty games with other people and is more than happy to shut someone up for you if it needs to be done. She's strong and forceful to those how know her, and lets herself seem weak and fragile to outsiders. Edana is the type to only let you in if you do something, not only for her, but for someone she loves, whether that be another good friend or a family member. She's considerable and is willing to look at both sides before making a judgment, whether that be a person, thing or situation. This makes her fair and trustworthy, a trait that most Hufflepuffs have. Her fairness is something that she really thinks is the best about her and she understands that there are two ways a story can go. To those who know her and actually understands her, they could relate to why Edana chooses to become someone different on the outside, because for it, it's a test to see who's worthy of her friendship and who's there just for the hell of it and doesn't actually plan to become her friend. Friendship is probably the most important thing about Edana, as she thinks being able to trust friendship is being as strong as you can be. But that mirror can also shatter within instance and because of the numerous times this has happen, Edana puts up that wall with only a small sliding door to see who's knocking. Edana is also a very hard-worker (another common and known trait about a Hufflepuff) and she doesn't necessarily focus her hard working on school or chores, but rather on the big stuff such as trust, friendship and courage. She is very protective of her friends and will not forgive anyone who hurts them, but if someone is to do something to her, she's very forgiving and is more than happy to give someone else another chance. Edana has this aura that sort of makes her snobbish for lack of a better word and she is extremely hard to approach. But in reality, she's just very mature and chooses not to spend time with those who don't deserve it. She's willing to understand someone else's feelings, which is why she has a close relationship with whoever she trusts and she's not afraid to speak her opinion or open herself to those she trusts, though extremely protective of herself and the people that she loves. Edana is not exactly intelligent, but she's more than willing to stick her nose in her book, as fantasy (her favorite genre) takes her to places she couldn't even imagine.
History: Edana Marie Reeder was a foster child and doesn't know her biological parents at all. The only thing she knows is that her foster parents didn't give birth to her. She doesn't know if her biological parents are dead or alive, she doesn't know if they are a witch or wizard, she doesn't know where they are currently, and she doesn't know if she will ever see them. Little did she know that her parents had died at the hands of Lord Voldemort, much like the famous Harry Potter's parents. This information was kept secret and the only person who knew about Edana's real parents death were Dumbledore (who was also murdered recently, therefore there is no record of Edana's parent's deaths as of this current time being.) Her parents were Eva Woods, a talented Slytherin who acted as if she were in Hufflepuff (which made Eva very unpopular during school) and Mig Finn, who was also a Slytherin during his years at Hogwarts (he had used to be one of the people who hated Eva because of her attitude and personality, but then grew to love her when they both worked at the same place in the Ministry after school.) Mig and Eva were happily married for four years before the rise of Voldemort, as they married when Mig was twenty-five and Eva was Twenty-three. They lived in a small town just outside of London that was covered in nothing but meadow and rural parts (the perfect place for Mig and Eva.) After three years of marriage, Edana was born, but was then called Melody Finn. The three had lived very happily through the next two years as 'Melody' was able to live joyfully and without much of a care at all. But after those two years, news of Lord Voldemort rising had reached their ears to late and Voldemort burned the entire village, killing the muggles that were in it. Only a few wizards and witches were left (as there are charms to reflect the flames of the fire) were living in the small town and Voldemort had killed all the remaining witches and wizards without even a hesitation during the fire and wiped out the village completely.
Somehow (reasons to why is unknown) Edana was left alone both from her village (as she was found about a mile away from the ruin), her parents and Voldemort himself. Some believe that she was rescued when her mother and father had left her somewhere to keep her safe and then went back to help anyone they could with the fire, only to find that they were right in the middle of a murdering spree of Voldemort (it seemed that they were the last of Voldemort's victims in that event.) Edana Marie Reeder was now an orphan. For a few hours, she was left alone, two years old and wandering around the streets aimlessly with absolutely nothing to do (as she was just two years old and was in very dirty and raggy clothing), just narrowly being able to escape death from Voldemort. Until finally, a muggle woman had passed through to visit her sister in the village that Voldemort had destroyed and found the little girl. Puzzled, she took the Edana's hand and led her to the village only to see that it was completely in ruin with bodies all over the place (bodies of the witches and wizards, though the muggle woman hadn't known that.) Judging by the disastrous scene in front of her and the lonely little girl wandering around, the woman believed that the girl had been orphaned because her parents had died during that fire. Fortunately for Edana, the woman who had found her happened to be the owner (or co-owner, Edana can't be to sure on which one) of an orphanage just a few miles away from London. This orphanage was supposed to be one of the best and had a high rate of child adoptions ever since it had opened, so it was fortunate of Edana to get to go to this orphanage.
Now currently living at the orphanage, 'Melody' was named 'Edana' (her last and middle name would be given when she was adopted. Edana was very quiet as she grew up as her traumatic event with the loss of her biological parents had really gotten to her. She wasn't emotional about it, or rather over-emotional about it; she just took it in and was all rather calm about it. Though, inside, Edana was depressed and sad. The lack of someone to watch her made her feel neglected and lonely, she rarely ever listens to anyone and rarely even involved herself with anyone or anything. She was self-dependant and liked it that way, as it made her feel as if she didn't need parents anyway (which was completely opposite of what she was really feeling, as she was in constant denial.) Edana, however, was growing into a cute child and was also selected to temporarily live with someone so that they could get a feel of what she's really like and such. But her lack of behavior and lack of participation in anything had always landed her right back into the orphanage. At this, Edana felt as if she was completely misunderstood and she finally began to have emotional problems and became highly prone to harsh (even jokeful) words. Edana was hateful, sad, lonely and misunderstood and she made no effort to try that to change that as she felt no one else had tried to make that effort. She had begun to lose confidence in herself. At this point, no one who even thought she was cute would take her home because she always had something like a dark cloud over her, and anyone who looked at her could tell that she had some major emotional problems. She had lived in the orphanage until she was ten years old.
Until, finally a woman and man had spotted her. This couple were psychologists, so someone with emotional problems like Edana had was a dream for them, and they adopted her not even taking her home to see what she was like. A little affronted by how quick they were to take her in, she was even more closed up to them. Her foster mother, Eileen Thomas and her foster father, Andrew Reeder had taken the time for an entire year to open up to her lovingly, and didn't slightest blame Edana for anything. They took her in with open arms and did everything for Edana (Edana would admit that she was a little spoiled) and they didn't seem to understand that Edana only wanted to be alone. Instead, they did the exact opposite. Whenever they went somewhere, they took (or rather, forced) Edana to come with them. They showered Edana with gifts during her birthday (which happened to be the day they had adopted her, as they didn't know when she was born), for Christmas (and they seemed to not expect anything back) or even just for the hell of it when they came home from work. They helped Edana on anything and seemed to know when she needed them the most. It was pretty much like they were inside Edana's head, or that they completely and willingly understood Edana and made to help her if she wanted to be helped. Before long, Edana had slowly begun to get over her emotional breakdowns and had less individual time. She started to open herself a little more to her foster parents and started to openly participate in anything. Edana Marie Reeder had done a lot of progress during the year that she lived with the Reeders. She also started to open herself to the outside world, not only her foster parents, but she started to slowly make friends at the school that she was going to. Although she didn't open herself entirely and wasn't near outgoing (but definitely shy and individual) she found the time to give people the benefit of the doubt. She learned to get over things that people said, but always took caution around people (it was just something that she did and was part of her personality, her plan to keep herself safe.)
Truthfully, Edana was sort of sorry when she had received the letter for her to attend Hogwarts. But that came after shock and disbelief. At first, she was denying the fact that she was a witch and had thought that it was some kind of joke. She didn't really believe it and chose to discard the fact until more letter kept arriving because she didn't send a reply to the return address (even though there wasn't one and she had no idea who it came from but only the name that was signatured in the letter.) But when she finally sent a reply, it was the shock that took over as she finally realized that she'd always had magical blood in her. As strange things did happen to her when she was younger such as her bowl of food magically filling up instantly before she could ask for seconds (she was also very, very hungry that day in the orphanage.) Then, she really didn't actually want to go, as that would mean leaving her foster parents for a very long time. She had grown to truly love her foster parents and they were like her real biological parents to her. She hated having to leave them, but she realized that her parents knew she'd be happy if she attended this school and they also thought it was unfair to give the magic school a chance. They had graciously accepted the fact that she was a witch and were even ecstatic to find that such things existed. They were fascinated on what Edana found when she came home during Christmas and for the summer (for she did return home any time she could.) They openly accepted the fact that Edana was a witch from the start and seemed to love even more (if that was even possible) when they realized what she was. At Hogwarts, Edana was still that girl who she was at home, but without her parents, she realized how dependant she was on them and she closed herself off for many years of being at Hogwarts, only really trusting the few who dared to venture that far (whereas others simply gave up.) But more or less, she found that her subjects and what she was learning was simply fascinating and always looked forward to returning home during the summer. During Hogwarts, Dumbledore had told her of only a few details of her parents, that being how they died and who killed them. Since Dumbledore that told her this during Edana's fourth year, she has decided to become an Auror for the Ministry of Magic after graduating so that she could somehow fight against Voldemort and his followers, more of revenge of what he did to her real parents and to other people.
Preferred house: Hufflepuff
Pet: None
Class elective: Care of Magical Creatures
Role play sample: ((ooc: This post does contradict the second paragraph of the personality, but for the most part, this is put during a dark time of Edana. This RP post is also a little (more) on the dark side of a human heart. So if you don't really like reading this type of stuff, I suggest that you skip it. But if you do read this, please tell me what you think of it, as I think that this post is a little thought provoking. WARNING!! Profanity is USED in this post.))
Edana Marie Reeder was sick of it. She was sick of life. She was bitter, she was cold and most of all, she was hatred. She hated life and she hated this stupid place supposedly call Earth (though she'd call it a second hell.) She hated everyone around her who was all cheery, jumpy, happy-go-lucky and crap. She hated her real parents for leaving her behind and she hated whatever woman had taken her to this hellhole. The only thing she wanted was a way out. But there was no way out of this. Not out of the orphanage. The only way out of this was to be adopted by a family. At this, Edana snorted. Like that would ever happen to her. She wasn't those happy-go-lucky children over there in the corner that were cute and cuddly to be with and always enjoyed being fascinated with toys. She wasn't one of those intelligent persons who did nothing but fill their empty heads with information. She wasn't even one of those busy people who actually had a life to run. No, she was someone entirely different. She was someone whose presence made people feel (extremely) uncomfortable. She was someone who didn't want to participate in anything. She was someone who just didn't give a @#%$ if she were to put it quick and blunt. She didn't want to be this person that she was if she were to be completely honest with herself, but with the way things, or life, were going, she felt as if she was obligated to have a dark, rainy cloud hanging over her head. She didn't have the courage to take her life and she didn't have the courage to try to be part of life, all she wanted was to be shut in a room and be left alone from people, society, be left alone from the entire @#%$ world. @#%$ this world. But in this society, that never happened at all, they don't understand the fact that someone wanted to be alone. Instead, Edana is ushered and pointed. Instead, Edana is stared and laughed at. Instead, Edana had to endure the harsh reality of what life is. Life? What was life? Life was hell.
There was no other way to put it bluntly.
She wasn't exactly depressed, no she really wasn't; just more over cautious around people or just nearly damn hated them. She didn't trust anyone to do the right thing and didn't ever give someone the benefit of the doubt. The only time she had done that was when she had given a chance to her current foster parents. If she were to be totally honest with herself, Edana would definitely try a little harder to fit into school, home, the community. But in her mind, there was no help to it, she would always be an outcast. And no matter how welcome and comfortable she felt in her foster home, she was still different from everyone else. She was always different from everyone else. And being different is being an outcast. She had learned to live alone, and she was completely used to it. She didn't mind if really and if she were to admit it, she would definitely like some company. But she's learned to expect nothing from anyone and learned to expect too much for herself. Anyone who looked at her could tell that she didn't want to fit in or stand out (though she did stand out rather often whether Edana wanted to or not.) For one thing, she simply refused to dress herself in clothing was currently popular. In fact she'd dress herself in the complete opposite just to make a statement that she either didn't care or didn't want to be part of that group or simply both put together. She's the one who puts up a front if you try to get to her, and that is a pretty high wall you must climb to get inside. She knows that most would definitely give up, that just proves to her that they're not worthy of her friendship anyway (though, she has to admit, it's rather depressing when someone gives up on you.) But Edana also knows that there are some who are willing to go the whole nine yards with her. And it here, that she's more than willing to let inside.
The outside of Edana is harsh and cold. She's shy and doesn't want to communicate with people. She's the type of person who doesn't trust. That's what people see in her and either they try but give up quickly or they just don't try at all. But some, the rare few of her friends, had gotten over that wall and was now seeing this beautiful scenery in front of them. Edana is more than willing to open herself to people she's willing to trust. Here she can be friendly, hyper, and even open. But she still can't help but close herself up, even to her best friend that she's had for life. People who are worth the friendship can understand that and chose to accept that, but there are some who are able to get inside and just shatter all dreams that Edana had. It's these people that cause Edana to be so hard to get along with. It's these people and those who neglect her that make it so hard for her to open up to the outside world. It's these people and the ones who take her home for a few days to see if she's okay to adopt and only bring her back the next that makes her scared of life. It's these people who shatter her wall and she has to be the one to build back up, but only build it higher. Because if she's willing to face herself in the mirror, she knows that it's not only their fault, but also her fault. After all, she could have always tried a little harder, but like everyone else, she's just one of them, the one of them that she hates. That makes her a hypocrite, and she knows it. But still, upon knowing this knowledge, she's still choosing to keep herself closed up. She's still building that wall back up whenever someone enters it. She still keeps that wall up for whoever tries to approach her (or has the courage to actually do so.) Even though she knows what she's really like, she's still pretending to be that person who's great. Even though she knows she's being stubborn, she still willing to push people away. Even if she knew that someone wanted to understand, she still kept her distance of him or her. She still refused to believe that this was her fault and wanted to think that all the blame was on someone else. This was why life was so hard.
Right now, she wasn't willing to accept this fact about her. But she wasn't able to get the thought out of her head. And it replayed over and over in her head, like some sort of movie that was on repeat. She wanted it to stop. She wanted it to stop so badly. But she couldn't do it. She had no control over her body or her bloody mind. They did whatever the @#%$ they wanted. Her mind kept telling her the truth, but her body kept walling back up that wall, it kept patching up that bubble that she had around herself. She was in her own world and no one, that meant no one, could enter it. Only a select view can see her inside this bubble, but even they sometimes are shut out or cannot see anything but the blackness in Edana's heart. She had tried many times to be that person that everyone loved. She tried to be open and she tried to be friendly. She tried to put herself out there for other people to watch. She wanted to be part of the group. But that was for a short time. No one took her in when she put herself out there. No one even bothered to look. It was then that she realized how hard life was. She didn't try to figure out the great aspects of being alive, she only knew how to die, but she knew that she'd never understand the concept of life and she'd never learn exactly how to live. She was only open to those who loved her, but was that more out of obligation? Or was it really her opening herself to the people she trust? Or did she think she trusted them only that she actually didn't? She had thought she'd made some progress while living with her foster parents, but somehow, she always ended up right back at square one and start the entire whole progress over again. It was probably one of the hardest thing to understand or come to knowledge of. When you think you are doing what you wanted to do, to think you are finally reaching your goal. Then you suddenly have the harsh realize that you weren't moving forwards at all. And if you moved all, you only moved backward. You weren't reaching you goal, but only running away from it. Was it because it was so hard? Was it because she was afraid? Was it both?
Edana Reeder was getting tired of the whole process. She was getting tired of the whole entire process and felt as if she was just going around in circles, not really reaching a point and only ending right where she had started from. Edana Marie Reeder was lost in our world. She had no place to go, no place to be, and she had no place even in her own heart. She couldn't live up the expectations of a life; she couldn't live up to the expectations of other people. And it's not that she couldn't, it's that she wouldn't. That made Edana even worse than she was before, if that was even possible. Edana held her life in her hands, but she can't seem to let it go without having some sort of feeling. She's so tired of having the life that won't move a different direction. She's so tired of having a life that doesn't have any new people. She's tired of the life that she was leading now. She wanted to just let it all go, drop off at the face of earth. She wanted to just fade to nothing. Edana is seventeen years old, and look at these thoughts that she's thinking right now as she lay silently in her bed, staring up at the ceiling of the Hufflepuff Girls' Dormitory. Look at how depressing and how harsh she is not only to other people and life, but also to herself. Look at how she refuses to understand what life even means. Look at how she's closing herself even more and more even when there is life trying to look to her. Look at how fast she's willing to leave someone in the dust. Look at how she can't seem to get over the hardships of life and the fact that in order to move forward, you have to have the courage, you have the have the strength. Look at how she neglects to understand what it takes. That it takes more than courage, it takes more than strength.
That most of all, it takes the will.
Edited by: Fade to Nothing at: 9/20/05 2:44 pm
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