I was fondled inappropiately as a child. Explains much.
"Child-Proof Bottlecaps : A Challenge, Not A Warning!"
"Constipation Is God's Way Of Punishing You"
"Santa Claus Is Dead And You Murdered Him All By Yourself"
"Not Until You're Older, Son"
"Smell That?"
"Chickenpox Can Only Come Once To Every Kid, Except For You"
"No, You May Not Go On The Rides At Disneyland"
"The Wizard of OMG!"
"Foster Homes Are Not Places Of Warmth And Kindness"
"Your Special Area Is Not So Special After All, Jimmy"
"Bellybuttons : Orifice or No?"
"Adopted!"
"Why Can't You Be More Like Your Sister?"
"So They Forgot Your Birthday : Ten Plans For Instant Revenge"
"If I Die Before I Wake, Pray The Lord My Soul To Take"
"Good Night Moon, Good Night Room, Good Night Bear, Good Night Chair, Good Night Crazy Old Man Standing Underneath The Window With Bad Teeth And A Crowbar"
"Puppies Are Lecherous Little Vain Things That Crawl Upon The Damp Earth, Gertrude, And You Shan't Have One"
"Getting Answers To Questions You Never Asked, Or Wished You Hadn't"
"The Birds And The Bees & The Horrible Menstrual Periods With The Blood And The Guck And The Auggh!"
"Sex And The Single Child"
"Latchkey Kid, Latchkey Kid, Nobody Loves The Latchkey Kid"
"Is It My Fault Or Not?"
Edited by: The Ray at: 7/22/02 1:10:39 am
I learned NOTHING from kindergarten! NOTHING!
"Nobody Loves A Quitter"
"That Special Number Between Five And Seven"
"Step On Pets!"
"Smile For The Social Worker, Welfare Kids!"
"The Puberty Fairy Came Early For You"
"A Tooth On The Pillow Is Worth Two In The Mouth"
"You Were Born First, Harold, And That Means We Gotta Sacrifice You To The Blessed Elephant Of The Crossroads, Ganesh"
"Children Are Starving In Ethiopia And Why Can't You Be One Of Them, Dammit?"
"Vegetables Are Alien Love Communication Signals, Says Timothy Leary"
"Jesus Loves You And So Does The Devil"
"Needles Will Kill You Again And Again"
"Fucksicle!"
"All Your Base Are Belong To Us"
"Allergies : Sign Of Weakness or Just Plain Girly?"
"Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me"
"Faster, Daddy, Faster!"
"James Bond Juniour : He Doesn't Drink, Smoke, Or Sex"
"There's No Such Thing As Too Much Bedwetting"
"Your Birthday Will Never Come And Even If It Does We're Not Going To Have A Party And That's Final!"
"No Doesn't Really Mean No, Not In This Day And Age"
"Bling Bling!"
"Baby Go Bye-Bye To Sleep-Land And Never Wake-Up!"
"Stillborn!"
"You Weren't An Accident, We Had You Out Of A Sense Of Weary Obligation To The Future Generations That Are Yet To Come"
"Long Titles Are Just Plain Stupid In Children's Stories, Raybies, And You Should Just Shut Up And Keep It Short For Christ's Sake"
"Tummy Aches Are For The Weak"
"The Lion, The Witch, And The Closet You Were Stuck In For Six Hours"
"There Are No Monsters Under The Bed, Repeat, No Monsters Under The Bed"
"Wandering Off Into A Crowd Is Fun And Not At All Dangerous"
"Accidents Waiting To Happen"
"Clocks Taste Funny If They're Eaten Right Before Bedtime"
"I'm Baking These Cookies For Me, Not For You"
"Judge, Jury, And Exe-, Execu-, The Killing Guy!"
"Girls Who Are Boys Who Like Boys To Be Girls Who Do Boys Like They're Girls Who Do Girls Like They're Boys : Always Should Be Someone Your Really Love"
"Your Eyes Are Bigger Than Your Stomach, Little Boy, And No I'm Not Talking In Metaphors Here"
"A Place For Everything And Everything In It's Place : A Recreational Guide To Sextoys!"
"Live, Dammit, Live!"
"The Easter Bunny Is Dead And Nobody Really Knows Who Killed Him But You're A Suspect"
"Gramma Went Away And She's Never Coming Back, Well, Maybe As A Zombie"
"You're In!"
"Dennis The Menace Will Never Grow Older And Thanks To A Genetic Defect, Neither Will You"
"Your Mommy Is Too A Hooker, I Saw It An' Everything!"
Childrens books . . .
LOL!
I dusted it off, for a return . . .
What is it with me and cows?
I learned NOTHING from kindergarten! NOTHING!
Re: I was fondled inappropiately as a child. Explains much.
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